The QB Brawl to End It All

So, Brett Favre said no. As mentioned earlier, I'm very unbiased towards Favre's decision to spurn the Vikings for a life of riding his tractor. Now the Vikings must decide between a quarterback between their current resources. The competitors include, but are not limited to (barring a Favre relapse) the following.

There is the incumbent Tarvaris Jackson. The man they call T-Jack had some good moments and some bad moments in 2008. The good? T-Jack threw for 8 TDs and just one interception in the final four games as the Vikings went 2-2 to clinch their first division title since 2000. The bad? T-Jack looked terrible in the Vikings first two games of the season and the playoff loss to Philadelphia. T-Jack was also benched in favor of the immortal Gus Freortte.

There is the newcomer: Sage @#$%ing Rosenfels. The former Iowa State Cyclone doesn't have much experience as he only has 12 career starts. However, he's shown flashes of brilliance in those 12 starts. So much so, that the Vikings were willing to trade a draft pick for him. With the success of darkhorse QBs such as Jake Delhomme, it may be a good decision to take a good hard look at Rosenfels.

Then, the dark horse. His name is John David Booty. Booty was a very successful quarterback during his college career. The only problem is that he was a successful quarterback at USC. USC is a gold mine for NFL talent. I could line up behind center and sling for 4,000 yards with the guys that Pete Carroll recruits. Booty knows the West Coast Offense, but was his success a product of the player or the system.

Viking fans are probably torn between who they should root for at this point. Well, I have the guy that Viking fans should probably vote for: Tarvaris Jackson.

Well, I thought that T-Jack was ready to take over last season, but a funny thing happened before the season opener against the Packers. T-Jack injured his knee. If you think it's an excuse, you may be right. However, go back and look at how he performed against the Seahawks in the first preseason game. Do you want a regular season example? How about the Arizona game where he threw four touchdowns? Or maybe even the Atlanta game. Sure, there were turnovers, but Jackson actually played well in that game.

Sage has made mistakes in his opportunities, and Booty deserves a shot, but would he actually perform well? Anybody who doesn't want T-Jack to start should realize this...

Aaron Rodgers was selected late in the first round of the 2005 draft. He then sat 3 years behind the massive ego that is Brett Favre. After waiting his turn, Rodgers started to take off last season and threw for over 4,000 yards. So, if you compare him with Tarvaris Jackson, Rodgers starred in his fourth year in the league after sitting around after playing at Cal. T-Jack attended Alabama State, maybe this is the year. Also, Rodgers hasn't experienced failure in the playoffs. T-Jack got to the playoffs last year and didn't look that well. Experience could play a key role in T-Jack's progression.

T-Jack could fall flat on his face in training camp this season, but I feel that he can take the next step to at least being a solid NFL quarterback. If we wind up going with one of our other options fine, but I have confidence that Jackson will beat them out. We'll have to wait and see.

Lesson Learned?

When I was little, I remember watching an episode of Monday Night Raw. The storyline was huge. Stone Cold Steve Austin, America's loveable beer swelling redneck, was seemingly allied with Vince McMahon. Austin had saved McMahon's daughter from the dreaded Undertaker who tried to marry her because of orders from a "higher power." Nobody knew who this higher power was until one June night where his identity was revealed. He pulled off the cloak and it was Vince McMahon himself as he screamed "IT'S ME AUSTIN!!! IT WAS ME ALL ALONG AUSTIN!!!" He then turned to the stunned crowd and screamed "YOU BOUGHT IT! YOU ALL BOUGHT IT, YOU FOOLS!!!" It was the moment in my life where I realized that somethings aren't meant to be.

God is meant to hate Minnesota sports. I am meant to love Minnesota sports. The sky is meant to be blue. And most importantly, Brad Childress is meant to look like an idiot and Brett Favre was never meant to don a Vikings jersey.

Just looking at some of the statuses on Facebook, I can see that people are estatic or upset with Brett Favre telling the Vikings no on a second comeback tour. The question is why should we really care. Some may think this is sour grapes but really, Brett Favre did what he meant to do: Get the Vikings to look like morons.

We all knew this was going to happen. The millions of idiots who ran out and bought purple Favre jerseys really look like idiots now. The bottom line is this is how the Vikings are supposed to operate. It's a lot like Wile E. Coyote chasing the Road Runner.

Think about it. You could see Brad Childress scheming to catch the Road Runner, who is a lot like that elusive Super Bowl trophy. Chilly thinks he has a scheme, whether it's building a quarterback (Tarvaris Jackson) or getting a hired gun (Favre). It always winds up with Childress falling off a perverbial cliff.

Once again, this was meant to happen. It's just the way things work. The Vikings now have to swallow some sadness and hope that they can repair their tattered locker room in time to compete in the NFC North. No use crying over spilled milk.

The Time Is Now!!!

The cute and cuddly Minnesota Twins are really starting to piss me off. As a matter of fact, a friend of mine had this conversation on a facebook wall Wednesday morning...

Mallory: We won last night!!!

Crishad: Yeah, got a little bit nervous in extra innings, but I smell a winning streak...

Since that conversation the Twins have gone...

7/22 - Oakland 16, Twins 1

7/23 - LA 6, Twins 5

7/24 - LA 6, Twins 3

7/25 - LA 11, Twins 5

Yup, I should have said, "I smell a losing streak." Anyways, the Twins are being exposed. They don't have a good starting pitcher who could take the ball in a pressure game (say a Game 163) right now. The Twins don't have a solid #2 hitter/second baseman in their lineup. The Twins don't have a reliable bullpen. (Matt Guerrier has been outstanding this season, but the rest of the bullpen has been either hit or miss.)

The bottom line is that the Twins need to do something now rather than blowing hot air towards the fans. The fans already have lost faith in Bill Smith and like I said before, he's afraid to make a big move because he screwed up the big moves he's made so far. However, sticking our thumbs up our ass and doing nothing is the norm for this team. It needs to change now. Take a look at past trade deadlines...

2001 - Twins trade OF Matt Lawton for P Rick Reed

Really, this wasn't expected and when I woke up that morning and heard we made that deal I was shocked. Matt Lawton was a fan favorite in Minnesota and would be our last true leadoff hitter before Denard Span's arrival seven years later. The move was even as Lawton played for the Mets for a couple years and Reed pitched for the Twins for a couple years. None had a giant impact. The Twins would miss the playoffs for the 10th straight season.

2002 - Twins do nothing at trade deadline.

This one was pretty uneventful. The Twins were running away with the AL Central and didn't really need to make a move. The Twins would win the division and make it to the ALCS, where they would be defeated by the Rally Monkey.

2003 - Twins trade Bobby Kielty for Shannon Stewart

Um...HUGE. The Twins were 7 games back of the Kansas City Royals...yes, the KANSAS CITY ROYALS...at the all-star game so they gave up on Kielty and traded for Stewart. Stewart would solidify the lineup and play for 3 1/2 seasons. Stewart even finished in the top 5 of the MVP voting that season. The Twins would catch the Royals, and make the playoffs, however falling to the Yankees in the ALDS.

2004- Twins do nothing.

The Twins would be "the strongest Twins team ever" with the addition of Justin Morneau to their lineup. The Twins would get to the playoffs yet again, but fall once again to the New York Yankees in the most painful of the Twins playoff failures.

2005 - Twins do nothing.

Well, they did bring in Brett Boone. But there were Alfonso Soriano rumors circulating. That didn't happen, the Twins missed the playoffs.

2006 - Twins do nothing again.

Soriano is rumored again, but the Twins won't give up P Matt Garza. Twins would win the division on the last day of the season and then get swept by the Oakland A's in the playoffs.

2007 - Twins do nothing

Players begin to get pissed off. Johan Santana hints that he may leave when he becomes a free agent in a couple years. Luis Castillo is dealt for a ham sandwich and a lap dance. Twins falter and miss the playoffs.

2008 - Twins do nothing, but trade for P Eddie Guardado in a waiver deal.

Twins needed a setup guy to get to Joe Nathan. We didn't get it. Instead the Twins would get Eddie Guardado who would prove to be just a dose of nostalgia.

So what could the Twins do to help their team this year? Well, here are some of the rumored names.

Freddy Sanchez (2B - PIT)

This has to be the best possible fit for the Twins. The Twins need a two hitter and Sanchez is a former batting champion who can get on base for Mauer, Morneau, and Kubel. He's currently hitting .299 with a .337 on base percentage. His numbers would only get better batting in front of those three. Pittsburgh is believe to want a prospect and maybe a major league player. Maybe we could dangle Delmon Young in front of them? But at this point does he have any value?

Orlando Cabrera (SS - OAK)

Cabrera is a solid hitter as well, but here's the problem. Cabrera is in the back end of a one year deal. The Twins are better off trading for Sanchez because it would be easier to add two years to Sanchez's contract. Also Sanchez is a type B free agent at the end of the year, this means the Twins could get a draft pick if Sanchez leaves. Cabrera could be designated a Type A, which would mean the Twins would get a first round pick, but he's just not that great of a fit. Why get a rental when you can get a long term solution. Oakland is believed to want a minor leaguer.

Michael Wuertz (RP - OAK)

A native of Austin, Minnesota, Wuertz would at least give the Twins a spike at the ticket booth.  Wuertz is a middle of the road reliever and would fit the mold of the Twins currently in the pen. It's a low risk move, so this would make sense.

Also being targeted are Matt Capps and Doug Grabow of Pittsburgh and this morning it was said that the Twins might look at 2B Marco Scutaro of Toronto.

Bottom line, we can't sit around. We're not going to sign any free agents this winter, so we might have to spend a little bit of that money that we're going to get from Target Field next season and maybe give up a prospect or two. It will be interesting. However, I think we sit on our hands...

- In other news, Joe Crede might go on the disabled list. In the Star Trib this morning Ron Gardenhire has indicated that he'll ask for 3B Danny Valencia from Rochester should Crede have to go on the shelf. Valencia is the Twins third baseman of the future and I assume he'll be starting at Target Field next season. Since being called up from Class AA New Britain, he's hit .338 with 5 bombs and 24 rbi in 28 games. I, for one, wouldn't mind seeing Crede rest up because it would mean we'd get to see Valencia. Valencia was a third round pick by the Twins a couple years ago out of the University of Miami, the same college that produced a third baseman by the name of Ryan Braun. Valencia is also defensively ready to make an impact "at the major league level" (Thanks, Bert!) If Crede can come back, cool, if not, I'm ready to roll with Valencia for a while.

Fear The Fro

Carlos Gomez of the Minnesota Twins has been under a microscope the entire time he's been in Minnesota. The 23 year old outfielder was the key component in the Johan Santana trade which so far has produced absolutely nothing for the Twins and given the Mets a bona fide #1 pitcher. Gomez was batting around the .220 mark going into the all-star break and didn't look like he had a clue as to what was going on at the plate. Since then, the Twins have emphasized more speed in their lineup and that's lead to more at bats for Gomez. Gomez has responded quite admirably since them and is starting to raise his average around the .250 mark. What gives? Did Gomez finally realize he can't try and hit every pitch 500 feet? Has the lightbulb finally come on? Nope. Gomez is red hot because he has been growing a sizeable afro. I can't estimate the actual size, but I can tell you that it's given him some kick ass powers.

The afro has been one of sports interesting hairdos. Of course, the afro was popular in the 1970's when almost everyone in the NBA had one. The fro started making a comeback in the late 1990's and now, it's taken a prominent role in professional sports. Just look at some of the sports moments that the afro has provided.

Summer 1977: Rod Carew flirts with .400 as a Minnesota Twin. Carew continues to hover around this mark until a late season swoon. After all of this, Carew is still able to hit .388, a career high. Minnesota wouldn't see an afro so powerful for a while. It was so powerful, that it took long sideburns to see anyone blow a kiss towards .400. Well, that is until they went into a 2 for 21 slump JOE MAUER.

January 2005: The Minnesota Vikings backpedal their way into the playoffs, dropping their final two games against Green Bay and Washington. In the last game of the season WR Randy Moss walks off the field with two seconds to go. Many "experts" question his commitment to the team. The Vikings are slated to face Green Bay in the first ever meeting between the two division rivals. The entire team comes out of the locker room with giant afros to promote team unity. As WR Kelly Campbell put it, afros stood for "America's Finest Receivers On Sundays". The receiving corps would prove their worth as Moss wound up with two touchdowns on the night and the Vikings would win 31-17. Moss would moon the Green Bay crowd after his second touchdown, a move that would signal a complete overhaul for the Vikings.

Those are just the two I could think of off the top of my head. The afro is probably the biggest rally cry in professional sports right now. You like your Rally Monkey? Please. Fear the fro!

CRISHAD SMASH!!!

Let me tell you guys a little something. When I was in my prime doing television sports reports at John Marshall High School in Rochester, I was approached by a toy company that wanted to do an action figure about me. Well, they produced the toy and everything but there was just one problem. He came out green. So the toy company decided to go a different route and called the action figure The Incredible Hulk.

Tonight, as you can see in the picture above...I am green and pissed off. I want to go flip cars. I want to hit a small child. I want to powerbomb a midget through a flaming table. I want punt a Brewers fan in the head. I am raging. Why am I so mad? Well, I'm sure that a lot of you caught the Twins game last night for the first three innings. The Twins had a 12-2 lead in the third inning and I'm sure a lot of you went to bed with a smile on your face. Well, if you haven't heard...

THEY @#$%ING LOST!!!

The Twins blew that lead and wound up losing 14-13. Apparently, we needed Brett Favre to come on to the field and drive the Twins for a game tying field goal. This game showed everything that's wrong with the Twins right now. Let's take a look.

- Our "ace" Nick Blackburn got rocked. Apparently, Blackburn decided to pitch with his thumb up his ass. Blackburn gave up 7 runs in the first four innings he pitched before finally putting up a zero. Of course, Bert Blyleven said that his arm was "too strong". This is as bull@#$% as the "emotionally drained" excuse we always here. Show up to play...get the freakin ball down for God sake and get some grounders. You're our ace and you have a 10 run lead. 

- Our bullpen also sucked. After Blackburn we were treated to the pitching of Brian Duensing. Duensing has either been hit or miss over the season and tonight, he missed. Then we got Bobby Keppel in the 7th who promptly came in and gave up a grand slam. Then, the flying fat ass fat Albert Jose Mijares came in and...BOMB! Twins down. Of course, the Twins won't do anything to fix this because we can't take risks. We'll just bring in some POS veterans who won't ever do @#$% for us. Right Mark Grudzelanek. Hey, Smith...to quote Ricky Bobby with all do respect, I didn't know that you had experimental surgery to have your balls removed.

- Michael Cuddyer. Yeah, Gardy loves him, but I think he's an absolute POS. The master of the solo home run, but if you put him in a situation with runners on base, he starts looking like yours truly at the plate. The decison to come home on the wild pitch was pretty damn wreckless and stupid. Sure, he beat the throw, but you can't blame the umpire there. You have to realize that we lost a 10 @#$%ing run lead and shouldn't have been in this situation. Seriously, sit his ass on the bench.

- Where did the middle of the lineup go after the first three innings? I went to work and they scored all 13 runs while I was in the hell hole known as Menards. After that, NOTHING. It's not my fault I wanted to watch a Twins game. They're our supposed "leaders" on the team and they pretty much gave up when it looked like we were going to piss pound Oakland. Great job, how about next time we hit a 3rd bomb or maybe get a single? Let's remember that everyone behind you in your lineup sucks. So you better swing for the fences every chance you can.

- The batting stance guy. Has this guy ever been on a date? If he has, does he just sit there and talk about how he knows Chip Hale's batting stance? If that seriously works, I'm going to find a lot of baseball games and start studying.

As you can see, I'm not happy about this and this means that we aren't going anywhere. This team is too young and stupid to do anything. That includes the front office. I used to think Terry Ryan sucked at his job, but Bill Smith has done nothing to leap over TR. Let's take a look at some of the players that he's gotten so far...

Delmon Young

Mike Lamb

Adam Everett

Eddie Guardado

Luis Ayala

Joe Crede

Mark Grudzelanek

Who will be the next washed up veteran to walk into the Twins clubhouse? Who knows. But I'll sum it up this way. I have a better chance of getting a date than the Twins doing anything meaningful. This includes trades, division championships, a @#$%ing win in the postseason, ANYTHING. CRISHAD SMASH!!!! CRISHAD ANGRY!!! CRISHAD GET REVENGE ON ENTIRE WORLD!!! AHHHHHHHH.....

All-Star Break Awards

At this point of the year, I would like to send out some hardware. Well, actually they won't be getting anything, but I've decided to say who I think deserved awards for their first half performance. So without further ado...

AMERICAN LEAGUE

MVP: Joe Mauer, Catcher, Twins

I know that a lot of you are screaming homer at this pick, but seriously? Who else would you throw here. Not only is Mauer flirting with .400, he's also added a power aspect to his game. Not to mention the fact that Mauer handles one of the youngest pitching staffs in baseball and gets good results out of most of the pitchers he works with. Torii Hunter may be a close second, followed by Jason Bay and Nelson Cruz.

Cy Young: Justin Verlander, Tigers

This is a bit of a puzzle to me. Zach Grienke has been amazing so far, but where is his team in the standings. Same deal with Roy Halladay. I pumped up Kevin Slowey to be an all-star, but his ERA is WAY too high to be considered for the Cy Young award. To this, I gotta give it to Verlander. He's the Tigers ace, and last time I checked they were on top of the AL Central. Which means...

Surprise of the first half: Detroit Tigers

I didn't think the Tigers had anything going. They dealt away a lot of their prosepects and even lost Gary Sheffield right before the season started. The result? Edwin Jackson has developed into a solid #2 pitcher and Miguel Cabrera has carried the offense on his back. The deeper into the season that the Tigers are in first place, the bigger the surprise they become.

Dissapointment: Cleveland Indians

I thought that the Indians would have most of their big guns back after a year in which they were destroyed by injuries. Turns out, they still haven't recovered. Even their best player, Grady Sizemore, has spent significant time on the DL. The rebuild is on in Cleveland.

Manager of the Year: Ron Washington, Rangers and Cito Gaston, Blue Jays

The Rangers are in the thick of things despite throwing in a hitters park and having a bunch of no-names in their lineup. Nelson Cruz has been a huge surprise and he'll get better with the return of Josh Hamilton. As for the Jays, Gaston weilds the most dangerous lineup in baseball and he's remained competitive even though 7 pitchers have landed on the DL at some point this season.

NATIONAL LEAGUE

MVP: Albert Pujols, Cardinals

Um...duh...

Cy Young: Tim Lincecum, Giants

A late first half surge has Lincecum the front runner for this award. He's just nasty and he'll continue to get better as the second half of the season wears on.

Biggest Surprise: San Francisco Giants/Colorado Rockies

Both of these teams weren't supposed to do much, but they've found themselves in the thick of the Wild Card race. The Giants have more staying power with their rotation, but the Rockies have some great bats in their lineup.

Dissapointment: New York Mets

Time to go the ESPN route on this. The Mets have had so many injuries that it's obvious they would miss a beat. If the Mets can get healthy in the second half, they could make a run. Question is, will it be too late?

Manager: Joe Torre, Los Angeles Dodgers

He's handled the Manny ordeal ideally. Now, he's the captain of the ship that is the best team in baseball. At least so far....

Things That I Love: The MLB All-Star Game

I remember when I was a little kid and I knew nothing about baseball. Well, I knew two baseball players: Kirby Puckett and Kent Hrbek. I never saw Kent Hrbek in an all-star game as his only appearance was in 1982, but even during the Twins lean years, I could always look forward to seeing Puck in the all-star game and doing something awesome. Even after Puck retired, it was still a thrill to see that one Twins player in the all-star game even if it was Ron Coomer, it was still a Twin dammit! For this and other reasons I love the MLB All-Star game.

This game just feels really pure compared to other sports. The players want to be there. All teams are represented. The fans really enjoy it. Not to mention it's in a feel good time of the summer, right when baseball is starting to peak interest. When you compare other all-star games, there is no comparison.

In the NBA, it's a ballerfest. Guys such as LeBron James and Kobe Bryant don't play defense and try to score 200 points a piece. It's a horrid game and usually it's not even that fun to watch. There might be a slam dunk that's pretty sweet, but it's not intriguing at all.

In the NFL, it's even worse. A majority of players selected to the pro bowl don't even go because it's at the end of the season, when they're truly beat up. Not only that, but you can't connect with a player in the NFL like you can in baseball. Even when Adrian Peterson won the Pro Bowl MVP trophy in 2007, it wasn't that interesting. Sure it was cool, but the game gets treated like a vacation. Who wants to watch that?

The NHL is a random goal scoring fest...I guess there's not much else to say here. I want to see a fight in the ASG here. That would be pretty sweet.

The MLB All-Star game just feels intriguing. Is it because the home field advantage in the World Series is on the line? Maybe. But I think why the MLB game is so intriguing is this...there is NOTHING else going on in the sports world. Baseball takes the spotlight for one night.

Also because every team is represented, all fans have something to look forward to. Just like me as a young kid, I could always count on a player from the Twins in the all-star game. It's a great way to get some young players such as Zach Grienke and Adam Jones noticed.

The same goes for the stadium. Recently, MLB has been showing off some kick ass stadiums. PNC Park in 2006, AT&T Park in 2007, Old Yankee Stadium in 2008, and of course New Busch Stadium this year. MLB also seems like they'll show off Angel Stadium in LA in 2010, Chase Field in 2011, Kaufman Stadium in 2012, a NL park in 2013, and hopefully Target Field in 2014. It's always awesome to see what the new stadiums are starting to look like.

So if you have the chance Tuesday night to check out the all-star game, I recommend it. Even if you're not a baseball fan, check it out. It's always a good time to check out and now that we know none of these guys are on steroids...well, at least we think they're not. Oh well. Just check it out.

Home Run Derby

It's that time of the year again. A whole bunch of top home run hitters get together and crank bombs all over the place at the All-Star game. This exhibition is more entertaining than the NBA, NHL, and NFL All-Star games. (In the NFL's case, the pro bowl.) We all know what this means too. It means it's time for another Twin to get disrespected.

In 2002, it was Torii Hunter. Hunter got into the home run derby and hit line drive after line drive and 3 of them went over the fence. Of course, he out homered Barry Bonds in that derby 3 to 2. Then Hunter's shining moment came in that year's game where he robbed Barry Bonds.

For a couple years, the Twins had a couple of token players that had gardnered respect. Johan Santan was one of them, but he never seemed to get the big time publicity that the bigger market pitchers got. This paved his road to become a New York Met.

Last year topped the cake. Justin Morneau won the home run derby and it seemed like everyone in attendance was pissed off at him because he didn't let Josh Hamilton win. Apparently, it was a two round contest. This got so bad that the presenter of the trophy actually called him Jason.

However, all these years of disrespect will come to an end when Joe Mauer steps into the batters box for the derby this year.

I don't think you know what to expect from Mauer. Many people have been joking that fans will all run to left field to catch Mauer's opposite field bombs. Of course, Mauer just finished up a horrid series against the Chicago White Sox, but rumor has it that Jesus actually called him and said "You're stealing my bit!" So, Joe had to do something I guess. Then came the interview with Ron Gardenhire about Joe going into the home run derby. Gardy's response. "I think Joe will win the whole thing. He does what he wants." Really...

Well, we have a representative in the Twins clubhouse that shall not be named and he's seen exactly what Joe Mauer could be planning for the bombfest contest. Apparently, Mauer has been seen with one arm tied behind his back smoking bombs. I'm not kidding about this. Mauer was violently taking swings with his left arm and crushing balls into the upper deck.

Then, came the real suprise. Trick bombs. Mauer did things like taking his bat behind his back, underneath his legs, throwing the bat at the ball, and commanding the ball into the upper deck. Mauer even stood in front of the plate, took it off his chest, and parked it into the home run porch.

Bottom line? Joe Mauer is going to crush anyone who stands in his way. It's like a UFC fight where they get a couple of jobbers to fight some big massive dude, then they get their shot. Mauer vs. Pujols in the final. The Machine vs. Baby Jesus. Wow. That could be a precursor to the Joe Mauer/Brett Favre steel cage match coming later this year. This is going to be fun to watch.

Michael Jackson Memorial

So, everyone in entertainment is up in arms about the death of Michael Jackson, one of the most successful performers of all time. Before I go off on my rant, I would like to say that I admired him as a musician. He was a bit odd outside the studio, but his music is timeless. Billie Jean, Smooth Criminal, Beat It, etc. are all prominent fixtures on my iPod. A lot of people also grew up admiring Michael Jackson. It's a big deal that he passed away to a lot of music lovers. However,  what went down at the Staples Center yesterday afternoon was complete crap.

People may think that I'm being a little bit harsh right now, but let's think of it this way. First of all, four million dollars was used to put on this memorial. FOUR MILLION FREAKING DOLLARS! This was used to pay for things such as policemen to block off four major interstates in Los Angeles, a chrome casket, and a garden on top of said casket. All of this was billed to the taxpayers of Los Angeles. This coming in a city where they are in massive debt and, oh yeah, we're in a recession.

The memorial itself was sickening as many celebrities came and paid tribute to MJ, but it seemed like a really bad award show or concert. Celebrities took their turns walking up to the podium and reading off a teleprompter. Each stare being blanker than the last. While they shared their memories of MJ, which is what you do at a memorial service, it also seemed like everyone was poised to grab their time in the spotlight. In other words, it was face time and good publicity. The Jackson family was really disturbing as all four remaining family members dressed up like they knew this would be their last opportunity to have a concert in a big, sold out arena.

To add to this madness, every major television channel carried this and 10 million people watched. The networks carried this like the president died or something. Even our war heroes and veterans don't get treated like this. It's absolutely ridiculous. He was an entertainer, not someone who was saving our life. (NOTE: MJ did give a lot to charities, but seriously, let's think about this here.)

I think the worst thing about all this was seeing the children. A huge reality check was driven home when MJ's young daughter went up to the stage and tried to say a few words about her father. She started by saying how he was a great dad and broke down crying. That's what should be remembered. A man died here, but because he was famous, he gets treated like a God. Apparently fame is everything in this world and that's a shame.

My Plan For The Wolves to Land LeBron James

The free agent class of 2010 will be no doubt the most star studded free agent class in history.  This pretty much is the product of the top 5 of the 2004 NBA Draft being absolutely ridiculous. LeBron James, Dwayne Wade, and Chris Bosh were all selected in that top 5 and all will be free agents in 2010. To add to this, names such as Michael Redd, Ray Allen, Amare Stoudamire, and others. Teams have already started clearing salary cap room so that they can be able to add a game changer to their team.

Enter the Minnesota Timberwolves. The Wolves are clearly in a rebuilding mode as GM David Kahn has stated. But, it wouldn't hur to add a superstar to our team in order to make the team more marketable. However, this has always been a problem in the past. Even looking at next year's free agent class, I can't see anyone signing with the Wolves.

However, I think we can make this work to get LeBron James to Minnesota. Here's my plan.

- Everybody needs to buy as many Al Jefferson jerseys as they can afford. If a ton of people start buying these jerseys, the revenue flow would start pouring in. Suddenly, a team that is losing money would have a surplus of it...enough to spend on LeBron James.

- Wolves fans need to take the Minnesota Wild approach to games. No matter how bad the team sucks, or the opposing team sucks, we need to pack the Target Center like game 7 of the NBA finals is about to happen. EVERY GAME!!! This would show the strong fan base that LeBron would have in Minnesota.

- We can tell LeBron that he won't have to face Dwight Howard until the NBA finals.

- Tell LeBron that he'll be taking passes from Ricky Rubio. Then once he signs here, trade Rubio for a shitload of players and draft picks because God knows they won't want to sign here once they become free agents! This will hopefully give LeBron a solid supporting cast.

- Tell the salary cap to go to hell. What's David Stern going to do? Take away our draft picks? Oh wait...

- Threaten to move the team somewhere warm, then when LeBron signs, stay in Minnesota.

Yup, I can see it now. LeBron dropping 50 points for the Timberwolves in 2010-11. Oh dream it you dreamers.

Things That I Hate: Fan Voting For All-Star Games

The All-Star rosters were released for both the National League and the American League today. Both teams are pretty solid and very different from my earlier predictions which were 5 people short for each team and really sloppy. (My bad.) However, as was mentioned a couple days ago, there was one noticable omission from the starting lineup. At first base is New York Yankees first baseman Mark Teixeira. This should be Minnesota Twins first baseman Justin Morneau. I've already mentioned why Morneau should be starting, but I'm going to take another shot. I hate fan voting.

We all know that the fans have to be involved in some way for a celebration. This is not it. We have to realize just who we are giving this power to. A whole bunch of uneducated idiots in most cases who don't know Nick Markakis from Nick Punto. My examples?

I once attended a Brewers game with some friends of mine. A foul ball was hit into the stands. A little kid was about to catch this foul ball, until a really big, nasty, lady came in front of him and caught the ball. For the entire inning the crowd got on this woman until she eventually and regretably, showed her breasts...(excuse me while I gag). These are the people we are letting vote for the starters in the All-Star game.

There are celebrities who are fans such as rapper Fat Joe who a couple years ago did an opening segment for a Yankees/Red Sox game on...you guessed it! ESPN. Fat Joe said something like "JOEY CRACK YA DONE UHHHHH!!! NEW YORK YANKEES!!! YEAH!!! WE GONNA END OUR FIVE YEAR CHAMPIONSHIP DROUGHT!!!" This not only looks like a really bad Twitter post, but it also shows his stupidity as Fat Joe might be the only guy to read from a phone book as he's rapping. "YO, Raul Rodrigui! Mama Georgio's pizza! LEAN BACK!!" These are the people we are letting vote for the all-star game.

Even the international vote is ridiculous. There are about 4 billion people in Asia and understandably, they love their athletes. There is no sport in which this is more obvious in basketball where Yao Ming has been voted into the All-Star game every year. However, the people nearly voted in Yi Jinlian, who is NOT Yao Ming, into the All-Star game.

I know what you're thinking. Why would you want to take the enjoyment away from the fans? Well, I don't think that taking the fan voting away would take the enjoyment away from the fans. I think that it would actually increase the interest in the All-Star game because they would truly see the best from each league starting the game in front of everyone.

This will never happen because no sport wants that PR nightmare and that's a shame. So until then we'll have to see who the east coast people will vote for and watch the All-Star game presented by the Eastern Sports Propaganda Network.

Wild Free Agency Watch: Day 1

Well, I nearly had a heart attack this morning when I opened Michael Russo's blog on the Star Tribune Website this morning and it read "Burns headed to Calgary." I'm actually surprised that I didn't mass text every hockey fan in my phone and put in all capital letters "WHAT THE @#$% ARE THEY DOING??" Turns out it was just because of Team Canada's olympic camp. After all, the olympics are just 6 months away right now...wow. But tis the season for hockey players to change jerseys and the Wild have vowed to be active in free agency this summer.

Before this season, the Wild's game plan of scoring a goal early and balling up into the fetal position for 60 minutes really scared off a lot of potential free agents such as Marian Hossa last season. Well, the Wild have a new coach, a new GM, and a new owner that's willing to throw around dollar bills like Pac-Man Jones at a strip club.

So what did the Wild do on day 1? Well, it didn't look promising. I kept checking my phone for good news and it seemed like every time I opened a message from ESPN, it said something about one of our targets signing somewhere else.

The first one was Daniel and Henrik Sedin signing with the Canucks for 5 years a piece. Everyone said this was a package deal as one wasn't going to leave without the other. Aw, isn't that cute. But that realistically eliminated the Wild from their services. The Wild only had 13 million to play with in free agency and had other holes to fill.

Then, Marian Hossa rejected the Wild for the second straight summer as he signed with the Chicago Blackhawks. This looked bad at first, but then I saw the terms of the deal as he signed a 12 YEAR DEAL. Marian Hossa is 30 right now...which means that he'll be 42 when the deal ends...in 2021. These deals never work so this was a wise decision for the Wild. A smart one for Hossa as he's going to get PAID, but also play in front of a very passionate Blackhawks fan base.

Michael Cammilleri didn't even talk to the Wild as he went to Montreal to sign with the Canadiens. This was a guy I would have liked to have seen wear a Wild sweater, but apparently they have another target in mind for that #2 center. Besides, the Wild already have a top flight center in Mikko Koivu, so perhaps Cammilleri didn't want to play second fiddle.

Then came the sentimental blow as Marian Gaborik signed with the Rangers. Actually, I laughed long and hard at this. Gaborik may have found a great fit when it comes to style of play, but now he's found the worst media market ever to be constantly injured. Also, take a look at the Rangers free agent signings recently. Scott Gomez was a bust. Darius Kasparitus was a bust. Jaromir Jagr left the country. Yup, have fun in New York, Gabby.

Finally, success. Around 11 pm CST, the Wild sign Martin Havlat to a 6 year deal worth 30 million. The Wild really wanted to get a replacement for Gaborik, and I think the change in style really enabled the Wild to get a top level free agent. Havlat is a lot like Gaborik in which he has the same scoring touch, but he gets hurt a lot. It's a solid move if Havlat stays healthy, plus Havlat won't have the same protection on his line that he had in Chicago.

Well, that is if the Wild fail to make another move. Which I don't see happening. Right now, as I type this, the Wild is courting Saku Koivu. Yes, Mikko's brother. Can we get him? I hope so. Adding Saku would give the Wild another veteran presence on the team. Although we'll get an absolute crapload of "Koivu Brothers" stories, it's worth the price and will make this team a lot better.

The Wild are also looking at Ruslan Fededenko, whom I've never heard of, but I hear he's a grinder that played on Pittsburgh last season. The Penguins did OK last season.

The Wild also signed Greg Zanon, who Brent Burns described as "great beard, better defenseman." Gotta like those odds there.

Over the past couple of years, it's been kind of ironic that a team called the Wild couldn't muster anything more than a 2-1 hockey game. As a matter of fact, I was watching the NHL Winter Classic game in January and when the Blackhawks took a 2-0 lead in the first, I thought the game was already over. The final score was 6-4 Detroit. The more we do, the more excited I'll get for hockey season. Oh and don't forget, the Wild still may be looking at Dany Heatley or former Gopher Jordan Leopold. Stay tuned.

Do You Know This Man?

As you may know, I'm not Ozzie Guilen's biggest fan. The loud mouthed Chicago White Sox manager says what he wants when he wants. However, I do agree with one statement that Ozzie made last year. Justin Morneau battered and bruised the White Sox in a three game series at the end of July. Ozzie was asked about what he thought of Morneau. His answer?

"If [Morneau] played in New York or Boston, he'd be the @#$%ing king. But because he's in Minnesota, nobody has any idea who he is."

This has skyrocketed to epic proportions where my homer views just can't take it anymore. Sure, he happens to play for the Twins, but Justin Morneau is like a Three Six Mafia album right now, Most Known Unknown.

Justin Morneau's stats have been consistant and at one point of the season were comparable to Albert Pujols. Maybe you've heard of that guy. Perhaps you've heard of Mark Teixeria and Kevin Youkilis. Well Justin trails those two in the AL all-star voting right now.  Time to compare.

Youkilis: .317 avg, 13 HR, 45 RBI

Teixeria: .275 avg, 20 HR, 60 RBI

Morneau: .313 avg, 19 HR, 64 RBI

So, that looks interesting. Let's also remember that Tex plays behind some guy named A-Rod and plays in a hitters ballpark. Youkilis does as well and missed time with an injury. Morneau has missed one game this season, plays in a pitchers dome (I won't call the Dome a ballpark), and his team is reliant upon him. So what else would you like ESPN?

I even saw a commercial for this year's home run derby on ESPN. They showed home run derby winners from the past couple of seasons. They got to last years and Josh Hamilton's name flashed across the screen. Um...WRONG!!! Justin Morneau beat Josh Hamilton in the finals. Yeah, what Hamilton did was awesome (30 bombs in the first round or something like that) but he LOST. Sure, Hamilton recovered from being addicted to every drug on the planet, but guess what? HE LOST!!! It was so bad that the man who congratulated Morneau called him "Jason Morneau".

I'm sure Morneau likes being off the radar, but what does Morneau have to do to become a household name? Morneau is a different player who should be recognized. Yeah, he plays in a small market, and yeah he's not running around drunk on ESPN saying how the Red Sox rule the world, but when you think about it Morneau is not your typical power hitting first baseman. A guy like Ryan Howard drools all over the place and just thinks about home runs. Morneau can get on base other ways, such as a single the other way or taking a walk. Not only can he score 100 runs, but he can also take 100 walks in a season. His on base percentage will be towards .400 by the end of the season. He's a true superstar.

Instead he plays in Minnesota, the land that nobody wants a part of. Just ask Ricky Rubio.

NL All-Star Team...the whole team

I'll do this a little bit differently. I'm going to list them by team. It's easier for me to tell if I have all 16 NL teams represented.

* denotes starters

** denotes currently injured

Catchers:

Yadier Molina (STL)*

Brian McCann (ATL)

1st Basemen:

Albert Pujols (STL)*

Ryan Howard (PHI)

Prince Fielder (MIL)

2nd Basemen:

Chase Utley (PHI)*

Orlando Hudson (LAD)

3rd Basemen:

David Wright (NYM)*

Ryan Zimmerman (WSH)

Chipper Jones (ATL)

Shortstop:

Hanley Ramierez (FLA)*

Miguel Tejada (HOU)

Outfield:

Raul Ibanez (PHI)*

Ryan Braun (MIL)*

Carlos Beltran (NYM)**

Brad Hawpe (COL)

Justin Upton (ARI)

Delwyn Young (PIT)

Pitchers:

Johan Santana (NYM)

Tim Lincecum (SF)*

Matt Cain (SF)

Jason Marquis (COL)

Chad Billingsley (LAD)

Yovanni Gallardo (MIL)

Jonny Cueto (CIN)

Closers:

Heath Bell (SD)

Trevor Hoffman (MIL)

Jonathan Broxton (LAD)

Francisco Rodriguez (NYM)