If Pro Sports Were Like Professional Wrestling: Aaron Rodgers vs. Brett Favre

It's a day in late July and Aaron Rodgers is standing in the middle of the ring. He's looking around with a sheepish grin on his face. For months, there have been rumors that his arch nemesis, Brett Favre would return to destroy him after he destroyed the memory of Brett Favre in the state of Wisconsin after years of living in his shadow...

Aaron Rodgers: Look at all of you. All of you simply amuse me. All everyone's been talking about is the return of Brett Favre. Favre this, Favre that, will Brett come back? You've even gone as far as covering him taking a purple dump. Meanwhile, while all of this is happening, I'm working on becoming the greatest quarterback in the history of the National Football League. Even better than Brett Favre. The reality is even if Brett Favre could come back, he can't and do you know why? Because I killed Brett Favre!

Jim Ross: That's nonsense, no one can ever kill the memory of Brett Favre. That's just preposterous.

Rodgers: That's right, I killed Brett Favre. I killed the memory of Brett Favre! Nobody in Wisconsin remembers Brett Favre! Look at what I did last week. I beat the Chicago Bears...

JR: Yeah, thanks to Jay Cutler!

Rodgers: There is nothing that can stop me from my desti...

[The lights go out and a video plays on the big screen, a mysterious voice appears on the screen...]

Voice: You can pay more, but you won't get more...and that's why I choose Wrangler.

JR: OH MY GOD, THAT'S GOTTA BE BRETT FAVRE!!!

Rodgers: No. No. NO NO NO NO NOOOOOO!!! YOU'RE DEAD!!! I KILLED YOU!!! Don't get you're hopes up, cause he's not coming back!

[Rodgers looks afraid and enraged at the same time]

A week later the Packers are playing the Bengals...

JR: Wow, I can't believe they let me do play by play for football...I mean I was so terrible doing the XFL...

Jesse Ventura: God damn it, JR, just call the game! The Body is getting tired of your boasting.

JR: Well, here we are. The Packers are down 28-21 to the Cincinnati Bengals.

The Body: I don't know who loses to the Bengals, JR, they're not very good. I could body slam Chad Ochocinco with one arm.

JR: I'm sure he'd take you up on that offer. Maybe a touchdown celebration? Rodgers and the Packers are driving. Here we go...Rodgers up the middle and it's caught by Jermichael Finley. OH MY GOD WHAT A MISTAKE...WHAT A SLOBBERKNOCKER!!

[Packers run up to the line of scrimmage when all the lights in Lambeau Field turn off. The video plays on the screen again.]

Voice: My mind wants to come back...but I don't think my body is ready.

JR: BRETT FAVRE!!! HE'S COMING BACK TO AVENGE AARON RODGERS!!! AND TIME HAS RAN OUT ON THE PACKERS!

Rodgers: NOOOOOOOO!!! HE'S DEAD!!!

[Rodgers snaps. He punches Mike McCarthy, then puts Greg Jennings through a table. This continues for several weeks. Then the Vikings play the Packers at the Metrodome.]

JR: Another great game for the NFL. Why am I still allowed to call games? This will be a slobberknocker. There you see him, one of the great up and coming quarterbacks in the NFL, Aaron Rodgers.

[Again, the lights go out. But this time, there's smoke coming from the tunnel. The Helga Horn starts sounding and a figure emerges from the fog.]

JR: OH MY GOD IT'S BRETT FAVRE!!! HE WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE HERE TONIGHT!!!

[Favre walks up to Rodgers and they start staring at each other. Rodgers starts crying and putting his hand on his shoulder.]

Rodgers: You're dead....you're dea...you're not real....YOU'RE NOT REEEEEEEEEAAAAALLL!!!

[Favre jacks Rodgers in the mouth and just destroys him. I mean, you ever seen a piece of roadkill on the road, and you stop by to go look at it cause you're not sure what it is. Then, you take a stick and poke it a couple of times, but you're still not sure. Then you just give up and go "WHAT THE HELL IS THAT???"]

Anyways, the drama surrounding the Viking/Packer matchup is very similar to that of a professional wrestling storyline. It will be interesting to see how Favre responds against his former team next Monday night.

What We Know After Week 2

Well, I've finally found time to update the blog after the beginning of the school year. What I want to try and start doing is showing facts about the National Football League after every Sunday. So, now that Week 2 for the most part is in the books, let's take a look at what we know.

The Green Bay Packers defensive renovation project is not finished.

Cedric Benson torched the Packer defense for 131 yards Sunday afternoon. There's a possibility that the Bengals have found their groove offensively, but I'm not buying that. Not a year after Green Bay had one of the worst defenses in the league last season. I'll reiterate what I've said all along. The Packers are a really good football team. As a matter of fact, I said they would win the Super Bowl in August. Right now, I don't see the same team that I saw in August. The Pack doesn't seem in sync, and on defense, that's understandable. Dom Capers just installed the new 3-4 scheme in the offseason and some of the players, such as Aaron Kampman, are still adjusting to their new roles. Offensively, this should be a top 5 offense, however the Packers are still not performing up to their potential. This is thrown on their offensive line who allowed 5 sacks to something called Antwaan Odom Sunday. Things won't get better for the Pack, as Chad Clifton most likely tore his ACL. To get back on subject, the Packers will be fine as long as their defense can get used to their new roles.

The Vikings still have some things to figure out.

The Vikings are turning out to be a second half team. Last week, the Vikings got off to a slow start and trailed Cleveland 13-7 at halftime. The Vikings wound up winning 34-20. This week, the Vikings trailed Detroit 10-7 at halftime. The Purple came out and won the game 27-13. Maybe the Vikings aren't getting enough sleep, but it seems that there are a couple holes that the Vikings have yet to fill. The offensive line didn't look dominant when it came to pass protection Sunday. Brett Favre was constantly under pressure. The Vikings have prided themselves off quality offensive line play, but the right side didn't look good today. Anthony Herrera's time in Minnesota appears to be short, and Phil Loadholt will be a good lineman, but he's a rookie and needs time to develop. The Vikings will be fine, and after all, they are leading the NFC North after week 2, but they need to work out a couple more kinks to become the elite team many expect them to be.

JaMarcus Russel is not the quarterback to lead the Oakland Raiders

When you take a quarterback #1 overall, the expectations are pretty high for said player. Some of the quarterbacks who have been taken #1 overall include Peyton Manning, Carson Palmer, and Troy Aikman. They're pretty good. However, there are other quarterbacks such as David Carr, Alex Smith, and now we can add JaMarcus Russel to this list. At one point in the game against the Chiefs on Sunday, Russell was 3/17 passing. That was in the fourth quarter. I've heard of slow starts before, but for a #1 pick going into his third year, that's ridiculously bad. Yeah, he's got a bazooka attached to his neck, but unlike a missile, accuracy actually matters in the National Football League. The Raiders need to get rid of this clown, ASAP. The sad part about all of this is that the argument falls on deaf ears. Al Davis is starting to remind me of my Great Grandpa Carl if he ran a football team. All he cares about is the big play, which is fine, but at some point you need more than just the ability to chuck the ball 70 yards. The Raiders had a quarterback, but he happens to be in Philadelphia (Mr. Garcia). It'll be interesting to see if/when the Raiders pull the plug on the JaMarcus Russell experiment.

The NFC East is ridiculously weak.

The Eastern Sports Propaganda Network would balk at this. The NFC East, for the first time in a while is incredibly mediocre. All the "experts" talk about is how strong the East is and I say nay. Did you see the Saints destroy the Eagles Sunday? Drew Brees looked like he was playing against a pop warner football team. The Eagles also don't have their starting quarterback, Donovan McNabb. They'll get a new toy next week when Michael Vick is activated, but will that really matter? The Cowboys are more stable than they were a year ago, but it doesn't hide the fact that Tony Romo sucks in November and December. It'll take a while, but the Cowboys inadequacies will show themselves, and this team will go into the toilet. The Giants don't have any targets on offense and Eli Manning might be the most overrated QB in the league. Speaking of overrated, there's the Washington Redskins who could only muster 9 points against the St. Louis Rams, who couldn't hold water in a paper cup. This division is respectable, but they won't get three teams into the playoffs like in the past. I expect another division (the North and the South are candidates) to get the wild cards.

I know what you're thinking, IT'S WEEK 2!!! But, it's always fun to make observations as the NFL season is a roller coaster. I'm excited to see just how this season plays out and, hey, I could always be wrong.

Break The Wall Down?

Roger Goodell took over as the comissioner of the National Football League prior to the 2006 season. Goodell has done some good things over the course of his tenure so far, such as instituting a personal conduct policy which made players responsible for their own actions. However, Goodell seems to be concerned about one thing now-a-days: Suspending Pat and Kevin Williams.

For those of you who don't know, Pat and Kevin Williams were among the 8 players who were suspended 4 games for using the banned diuretic StarCaps. In StarCaps there is an ingredient that is considered illegal by the NFL. However, this ingredient is not listed on the label by StarCaps, a huge mistake by the company. To make matters worse, the NFL knew about this banned substance. However, when the players went (6 others were suspended including Saints DE Will Smith and RB Deuce McAllister) to their trainers to double check that this was OK, the trainers said, "This stuff is sweet!" Then, the NFL had their hotline say that StarCaps is OK. Again, the NFL knew about this banned substance.

6 of the 8 suspensions related to this substance have been enforced, the remaining two are in the case of the "Williams Wall." The NFL tried at great lengths to enforce these suspensions, but the Williamses have taken this to court. The Minnesota courts have filed an injunction against these suspensions from happening. However, the NFL is hellbent to make these two pay. Here's my question for Mr. Goodell. Don't you have better things to worry about? Take this into consideration

- The majority of the NFL is facing blackouts for all of their home games because they can't sell them out.

This is a byproduct of the economy. People don't want to shell out for season tickets anymore. Not only that, but take into considering that aside from the 50 dollar upper deck ticket to go to a Vikings game, but it also costs 30 bucks to park (or more), 15 for a hotdog and coke, and that's even worse if someone wants to enjoy a beer. This blackout rule needs to change or else nobody will be able to watch any game period. Oh wait, the NFL had tried to make this better by allowing fans to watch the blacked out games online....after midnight. So in effect, that's like taping a game. Do you realize how many times I hear about the score of the game before actually seeing the game when I tape the game? Truth is, by the time I can sit down to watch it, I know everything about the game. That's an absolute joke. Maybe, Goodell should try and use some energy on this.

- The CBA expires in 2011.

This may not seem like an absolute emergency, but think about it this way. If there is no agreement for a CBA in place by next season, there may be no salary cap. If there's no salary cap in 2010, there may not be another capped year for a really long time. This is because if a team starts throwing out money like Pac Man Jones at a strip club and all the sudden there's a salary cap in 2011, there's going to be a lot of players cut. Players cut means that they lose a ton of money and money drives the NFL (see the blackout rule). This would also be disasterous for small market teams. It would turn the NFL into baseball, and the Green Bay Packers would never be competitve again. (Hey, that wouldn't be so bad actually!) I say this because the big pocketed owners (Dan Snyder, Jerry Jones, hell, Zygi Wilf) will dominate the league, while the stingy (The Ford Family) and/or poor owners (Packer fans [look at a future post about this]) will post perennial 2-14 doormats. The worst part about this is that Goodell and NFLPA president DeMaurice Smith have already begun pointing fingers at each other and they haven't even talked to each other yet.

I'm sure there are other issues that Goodell could focus his energy on, but instead he has decided on focusing on giving weak penalties to those who violate his conduct policy and smashing a bag of puppies with a sledgehammer and laughing. Oh, by the way, doesn't he look like Aaron Eckhart from the Dark Knight. Harvey Dent runs the NFL!

AD vs. LT: The Debate of the Year?

Jim Brown is considered one of the greatest running backs in NFL history. His career totals of 12,312 rushing yards and 126 rushing touchdowns are pretty damn good, especially when Brown only played 8 seasons in the NFL and retired at the age of 29. That said, he knows a thing or two about running backs. Recently, Brown was asked about the best running back in the game. Brown said that Adrian Peterson was the best running back he's seen in a long time. These comments sparked a fire under the guy who was considered the best running back ever by Marty Schottenheimer, LaDanian Tomlinson.

Things have not been pretty for Mr. Tomlinson. A couple years ago, he turned down being on the cover of Madden because he believed in the Madden Jinx. Well apparently, the jinx follows you whether you're on the cover or not. Tomlinson's stats have steadily declined over the past couple of seasons and now many "experts" are saying that Tomlinson is on his unceremonious way out of the league just like Shaun Alexander and Edgerrin James. (James signed a one year deal with Seattle last week, but he's not the same Edge who tore up the league with the Colts.) Apparently, this coupled with a story in the Los Angeles Times about Tomlinson's decline set LT off. This was his response about Brown's comments.

"Jim Brown was telling Peterson he's the best runner he'd seen in a long time, I was sitting there reading it thinking, 'Wow.' The difference with me is you can put me out on that field and there will be nothing I can't do. I won't have to come off the field. Adrian has to come off sometimes on third down. Running routes, he's still not there yet. Great downhill runner, powerful, fast, all that stuff. . . . But anything on that field you want me to do -- throw it, block -- I can do it. That's what I pride myself on is not having any weaknesses. And that's what makes me the best back."

First, I'll say that I think LT will have a great year this year because people are really hammering on him. However, I think the two running backs are just about equal. LT is right when he talks about Peterson having to leave the game in certain situations (two minute drills, third downs, etc.) because of his questionable pass blocking skills. However, remember this. Peterson is in his third year in the NFL. I'm sure LT had a weakness or two going into his third season as well. This is life in the NFL. Instead of getting a ceremonious send off like baseball players do when they retire, NFL players get the Old Yeller treatment, they're cut as quickly and as viciously as a shotgun bullet to the head. This is what's happening with Tomlinson as we speak, however, it might be a couple years too soon.

I think that LT might be a little bit jealous of Peterson right now. Peterson is that guy. I don't think we've seen a Chunky Soup Commercial with Tomlinson recently, but we have seen a lot of Adrian Peterson on TV. Adrian Peterson is going #1 overall in every fantasy draft outside of San Diego. Really, Peterson is just more popular right now. They're both elite backs, but we'll wait for Peterson's career to develop before we say who is better than whom.

Random Jottings and Thoughts

Today's blog entry will be in a notes format. There's way too much stuff going on to just talk about one thing so let's check it out.

Brett Favre and the Vikings look sharp in 17-10 win over Houston.

Well, it still looks weird to see Favre in purple. However, the Viking offense looks as exciting and promising as it has since Mike Tice was fired in 2005. The Vikings got things off to the right start by handing the ball off to Adrian Peterson who did what he does best, lay the smackdown on the Houston Texans defense. From that point, it was on. Brett Favre looked sharp. He says he has cracked ribs, but I'm starting to think that Brett is going to be "hurt" all season, but still play every Sunday. (Packer fans have known this for the past 17 years) The other promising thing about the Vikings was the creativity in the offense. The Wildcat formation was revealed last night, with Brett Favre at wide receiver and Percy Harvin at quarterback.

This proved to be the most controversial formation of the night as Favre delivered a crack back block on Eugene Wilson. Favre said he didn't intend to go that low on Wilson, but Wilson didn't buy that. While I don't think Favre was looking to hurt Wilson, I think he should have tried to hit him in the shoulder. However, after having your shoulder reconstructed, I wouldn't want to go into another guys shoulder either.

The bottom line is that the Vikings look ready to open the season September 13th at Cleveland. If the offense continues to look like this throughout the season, it will be pretty hard to stop the Vikings.

Twins defeat White Sox, who turn around and deal Jim Thome and Jose Contreras

The win is huge, but the dealing of Jim Thome indicates a white flag to me. The White Sox are getting Jake Peavy sometime this month, but I think that the Sox feel that this team isn't good enough to catch the Tigers. The Twins are starting to surge right now, but there are still way too many concerns with the starting rotation. The Twins didn't pick anyone up at the waiver deadline, although they did put in a claim for Rich Harden. They were also in the race for Brad Penny, but he supposedly wanted to pitch in the National League.

The next two games for the Twins will be interesting because they throw out two rookies. Jeff Manship will make his first major league start tonight and it might be a short one seeing how he's pitched out of the bullpen. It may be a comfortability issue with Manship as he was a starter in the minor leagues. On Wednesday, Brian Duensing will start, who's made three starts in his career. Experience may be a factor as the Twins end their tenure at the dome.

Oh yeah, in another interesting note, rumor has it that the Twins are going to have Ozzie Guillen remove the number for the countdown for the Metrodome. It will be interesting to see how that works out cause Ozzie's kind of busy down on the field.

Ricky Rubio will stay in Spain the next two years

I've softened my stance on this since Rubio was first drafted. I don't think he has a problem with playing in Minnesota. It just hasn't worked out for him to play over here. They say that Rubio could opt out in 2011 to play for the Wolves, but will he actually don a Wolves uniform? NBA "experts" claim that Rubio's rights could be traded twice before then. Rubio could be a better player in the NBA by the time he gets here as he'll only be 20 years old. Until then, Jonny Flynn will have a chance to win the job. I think he will and become a fan favorite in Minnesota.

Wild unveil new alternate jerseys

I'm a fashionable kind of guy, and I'm looking at these uniforms and I think that the sweater is sweet. I don't know about the green pants with them, but they look pretty cool. If you haven't seen it yet, go on the Wild website and check it out.

Exciting times in sports! Remember kiddies, college football starts on Thursday too. (with two great games!) And there are 11 days from the opening of TCF Bank Stadium and 12 days from the Vikings opener. School is starting, but I'll be willing to take that in order to watch some footie.