Home Run Derby

It's that time of the year again. A whole bunch of top home run hitters get together and crank bombs all over the place at the All-Star game. This exhibition is more entertaining than the NBA, NHL, and NFL All-Star games. (In the NFL's case, the pro bowl.) We all know what this means too. It means it's time for another Twin to get disrespected.

In 2002, it was Torii Hunter. Hunter got into the home run derby and hit line drive after line drive and 3 of them went over the fence. Of course, he out homered Barry Bonds in that derby 3 to 2. Then Hunter's shining moment came in that year's game where he robbed Barry Bonds.

For a couple years, the Twins had a couple of token players that had gardnered respect. Johan Santan was one of them, but he never seemed to get the big time publicity that the bigger market pitchers got. This paved his road to become a New York Met.

Last year topped the cake. Justin Morneau won the home run derby and it seemed like everyone in attendance was pissed off at him because he didn't let Josh Hamilton win. Apparently, it was a two round contest. This got so bad that the presenter of the trophy actually called him Jason.

However, all these years of disrespect will come to an end when Joe Mauer steps into the batters box for the derby this year.

I don't think you know what to expect from Mauer. Many people have been joking that fans will all run to left field to catch Mauer's opposite field bombs. Of course, Mauer just finished up a horrid series against the Chicago White Sox, but rumor has it that Jesus actually called him and said "You're stealing my bit!" So, Joe had to do something I guess. Then came the interview with Ron Gardenhire about Joe going into the home run derby. Gardy's response. "I think Joe will win the whole thing. He does what he wants." Really...

Well, we have a representative in the Twins clubhouse that shall not be named and he's seen exactly what Joe Mauer could be planning for the bombfest contest. Apparently, Mauer has been seen with one arm tied behind his back smoking bombs. I'm not kidding about this. Mauer was violently taking swings with his left arm and crushing balls into the upper deck.

Then, came the real suprise. Trick bombs. Mauer did things like taking his bat behind his back, underneath his legs, throwing the bat at the ball, and commanding the ball into the upper deck. Mauer even stood in front of the plate, took it off his chest, and parked it into the home run porch.

Bottom line? Joe Mauer is going to crush anyone who stands in his way. It's like a UFC fight where they get a couple of jobbers to fight some big massive dude, then they get their shot. Mauer vs. Pujols in the final. The Machine vs. Baby Jesus. Wow. That could be a precursor to the Joe Mauer/Brett Favre steel cage match coming later this year. This is going to be fun to watch.

Michael Jackson Memorial

So, everyone in entertainment is up in arms about the death of Michael Jackson, one of the most successful performers of all time. Before I go off on my rant, I would like to say that I admired him as a musician. He was a bit odd outside the studio, but his music is timeless. Billie Jean, Smooth Criminal, Beat It, etc. are all prominent fixtures on my iPod. A lot of people also grew up admiring Michael Jackson. It's a big deal that he passed away to a lot of music lovers. However,  what went down at the Staples Center yesterday afternoon was complete crap.

People may think that I'm being a little bit harsh right now, but let's think of it this way. First of all, four million dollars was used to put on this memorial. FOUR MILLION FREAKING DOLLARS! This was used to pay for things such as policemen to block off four major interstates in Los Angeles, a chrome casket, and a garden on top of said casket. All of this was billed to the taxpayers of Los Angeles. This coming in a city where they are in massive debt and, oh yeah, we're in a recession.

The memorial itself was sickening as many celebrities came and paid tribute to MJ, but it seemed like a really bad award show or concert. Celebrities took their turns walking up to the podium and reading off a teleprompter. Each stare being blanker than the last. While they shared their memories of MJ, which is what you do at a memorial service, it also seemed like everyone was poised to grab their time in the spotlight. In other words, it was face time and good publicity. The Jackson family was really disturbing as all four remaining family members dressed up like they knew this would be their last opportunity to have a concert in a big, sold out arena.

To add to this madness, every major television channel carried this and 10 million people watched. The networks carried this like the president died or something. Even our war heroes and veterans don't get treated like this. It's absolutely ridiculous. He was an entertainer, not someone who was saving our life. (NOTE: MJ did give a lot to charities, but seriously, let's think about this here.)

I think the worst thing about all this was seeing the children. A huge reality check was driven home when MJ's young daughter went up to the stage and tried to say a few words about her father. She started by saying how he was a great dad and broke down crying. That's what should be remembered. A man died here, but because he was famous, he gets treated like a God. Apparently fame is everything in this world and that's a shame.

My Plan For The Wolves to Land LeBron James

The free agent class of 2010 will be no doubt the most star studded free agent class in history.  This pretty much is the product of the top 5 of the 2004 NBA Draft being absolutely ridiculous. LeBron James, Dwayne Wade, and Chris Bosh were all selected in that top 5 and all will be free agents in 2010. To add to this, names such as Michael Redd, Ray Allen, Amare Stoudamire, and others. Teams have already started clearing salary cap room so that they can be able to add a game changer to their team.

Enter the Minnesota Timberwolves. The Wolves are clearly in a rebuilding mode as GM David Kahn has stated. But, it wouldn't hur to add a superstar to our team in order to make the team more marketable. However, this has always been a problem in the past. Even looking at next year's free agent class, I can't see anyone signing with the Wolves.

However, I think we can make this work to get LeBron James to Minnesota. Here's my plan.

- Everybody needs to buy as many Al Jefferson jerseys as they can afford. If a ton of people start buying these jerseys, the revenue flow would start pouring in. Suddenly, a team that is losing money would have a surplus of it...enough to spend on LeBron James.

- Wolves fans need to take the Minnesota Wild approach to games. No matter how bad the team sucks, or the opposing team sucks, we need to pack the Target Center like game 7 of the NBA finals is about to happen. EVERY GAME!!! This would show the strong fan base that LeBron would have in Minnesota.

- We can tell LeBron that he won't have to face Dwight Howard until the NBA finals.

- Tell LeBron that he'll be taking passes from Ricky Rubio. Then once he signs here, trade Rubio for a shitload of players and draft picks because God knows they won't want to sign here once they become free agents! This will hopefully give LeBron a solid supporting cast.

- Tell the salary cap to go to hell. What's David Stern going to do? Take away our draft picks? Oh wait...

- Threaten to move the team somewhere warm, then when LeBron signs, stay in Minnesota.

Yup, I can see it now. LeBron dropping 50 points for the Timberwolves in 2010-11. Oh dream it you dreamers.

Things That I Hate: Fan Voting For All-Star Games

The All-Star rosters were released for both the National League and the American League today. Both teams are pretty solid and very different from my earlier predictions which were 5 people short for each team and really sloppy. (My bad.) However, as was mentioned a couple days ago, there was one noticable omission from the starting lineup. At first base is New York Yankees first baseman Mark Teixeira. This should be Minnesota Twins first baseman Justin Morneau. I've already mentioned why Morneau should be starting, but I'm going to take another shot. I hate fan voting.

We all know that the fans have to be involved in some way for a celebration. This is not it. We have to realize just who we are giving this power to. A whole bunch of uneducated idiots in most cases who don't know Nick Markakis from Nick Punto. My examples?

I once attended a Brewers game with some friends of mine. A foul ball was hit into the stands. A little kid was about to catch this foul ball, until a really big, nasty, lady came in front of him and caught the ball. For the entire inning the crowd got on this woman until she eventually and regretably, showed her breasts...(excuse me while I gag). These are the people we are letting vote for the starters in the All-Star game.

There are celebrities who are fans such as rapper Fat Joe who a couple years ago did an opening segment for a Yankees/Red Sox game on...you guessed it! ESPN. Fat Joe said something like "JOEY CRACK YA DONE UHHHHH!!! NEW YORK YANKEES!!! YEAH!!! WE GONNA END OUR FIVE YEAR CHAMPIONSHIP DROUGHT!!!" This not only looks like a really bad Twitter post, but it also shows his stupidity as Fat Joe might be the only guy to read from a phone book as he's rapping. "YO, Raul Rodrigui! Mama Georgio's pizza! LEAN BACK!!" These are the people we are letting vote for the all-star game.

Even the international vote is ridiculous. There are about 4 billion people in Asia and understandably, they love their athletes. There is no sport in which this is more obvious in basketball where Yao Ming has been voted into the All-Star game every year. However, the people nearly voted in Yi Jinlian, who is NOT Yao Ming, into the All-Star game.

I know what you're thinking. Why would you want to take the enjoyment away from the fans? Well, I don't think that taking the fan voting away would take the enjoyment away from the fans. I think that it would actually increase the interest in the All-Star game because they would truly see the best from each league starting the game in front of everyone.

This will never happen because no sport wants that PR nightmare and that's a shame. So until then we'll have to see who the east coast people will vote for and watch the All-Star game presented by the Eastern Sports Propaganda Network.

Wild Free Agency Watch: Day 1

Well, I nearly had a heart attack this morning when I opened Michael Russo's blog on the Star Tribune Website this morning and it read "Burns headed to Calgary." I'm actually surprised that I didn't mass text every hockey fan in my phone and put in all capital letters "WHAT THE @#$% ARE THEY DOING??" Turns out it was just because of Team Canada's olympic camp. After all, the olympics are just 6 months away right now...wow. But tis the season for hockey players to change jerseys and the Wild have vowed to be active in free agency this summer.

Before this season, the Wild's game plan of scoring a goal early and balling up into the fetal position for 60 minutes really scared off a lot of potential free agents such as Marian Hossa last season. Well, the Wild have a new coach, a new GM, and a new owner that's willing to throw around dollar bills like Pac-Man Jones at a strip club.

So what did the Wild do on day 1? Well, it didn't look promising. I kept checking my phone for good news and it seemed like every time I opened a message from ESPN, it said something about one of our targets signing somewhere else.

The first one was Daniel and Henrik Sedin signing with the Canucks for 5 years a piece. Everyone said this was a package deal as one wasn't going to leave without the other. Aw, isn't that cute. But that realistically eliminated the Wild from their services. The Wild only had 13 million to play with in free agency and had other holes to fill.

Then, Marian Hossa rejected the Wild for the second straight summer as he signed with the Chicago Blackhawks. This looked bad at first, but then I saw the terms of the deal as he signed a 12 YEAR DEAL. Marian Hossa is 30 right now...which means that he'll be 42 when the deal ends...in 2021. These deals never work so this was a wise decision for the Wild. A smart one for Hossa as he's going to get PAID, but also play in front of a very passionate Blackhawks fan base.

Michael Cammilleri didn't even talk to the Wild as he went to Montreal to sign with the Canadiens. This was a guy I would have liked to have seen wear a Wild sweater, but apparently they have another target in mind for that #2 center. Besides, the Wild already have a top flight center in Mikko Koivu, so perhaps Cammilleri didn't want to play second fiddle.

Then came the sentimental blow as Marian Gaborik signed with the Rangers. Actually, I laughed long and hard at this. Gaborik may have found a great fit when it comes to style of play, but now he's found the worst media market ever to be constantly injured. Also, take a look at the Rangers free agent signings recently. Scott Gomez was a bust. Darius Kasparitus was a bust. Jaromir Jagr left the country. Yup, have fun in New York, Gabby.

Finally, success. Around 11 pm CST, the Wild sign Martin Havlat to a 6 year deal worth 30 million. The Wild really wanted to get a replacement for Gaborik, and I think the change in style really enabled the Wild to get a top level free agent. Havlat is a lot like Gaborik in which he has the same scoring touch, but he gets hurt a lot. It's a solid move if Havlat stays healthy, plus Havlat won't have the same protection on his line that he had in Chicago.

Well, that is if the Wild fail to make another move. Which I don't see happening. Right now, as I type this, the Wild is courting Saku Koivu. Yes, Mikko's brother. Can we get him? I hope so. Adding Saku would give the Wild another veteran presence on the team. Although we'll get an absolute crapload of "Koivu Brothers" stories, it's worth the price and will make this team a lot better.

The Wild are also looking at Ruslan Fededenko, whom I've never heard of, but I hear he's a grinder that played on Pittsburgh last season. The Penguins did OK last season.

The Wild also signed Greg Zanon, who Brent Burns described as "great beard, better defenseman." Gotta like those odds there.

Over the past couple of years, it's been kind of ironic that a team called the Wild couldn't muster anything more than a 2-1 hockey game. As a matter of fact, I was watching the NHL Winter Classic game in January and when the Blackhawks took a 2-0 lead in the first, I thought the game was already over. The final score was 6-4 Detroit. The more we do, the more excited I'll get for hockey season. Oh and don't forget, the Wild still may be looking at Dany Heatley or former Gopher Jordan Leopold. Stay tuned.

Do You Know This Man?

As you may know, I'm not Ozzie Guilen's biggest fan. The loud mouthed Chicago White Sox manager says what he wants when he wants. However, I do agree with one statement that Ozzie made last year. Justin Morneau battered and bruised the White Sox in a three game series at the end of July. Ozzie was asked about what he thought of Morneau. His answer?

"If [Morneau] played in New York or Boston, he'd be the @#$%ing king. But because he's in Minnesota, nobody has any idea who he is."

This has skyrocketed to epic proportions where my homer views just can't take it anymore. Sure, he happens to play for the Twins, but Justin Morneau is like a Three Six Mafia album right now, Most Known Unknown.

Justin Morneau's stats have been consistant and at one point of the season were comparable to Albert Pujols. Maybe you've heard of that guy. Perhaps you've heard of Mark Teixeria and Kevin Youkilis. Well Justin trails those two in the AL all-star voting right now.  Time to compare.

Youkilis: .317 avg, 13 HR, 45 RBI

Teixeria: .275 avg, 20 HR, 60 RBI

Morneau: .313 avg, 19 HR, 64 RBI

So, that looks interesting. Let's also remember that Tex plays behind some guy named A-Rod and plays in a hitters ballpark. Youkilis does as well and missed time with an injury. Morneau has missed one game this season, plays in a pitchers dome (I won't call the Dome a ballpark), and his team is reliant upon him. So what else would you like ESPN?

I even saw a commercial for this year's home run derby on ESPN. They showed home run derby winners from the past couple of seasons. They got to last years and Josh Hamilton's name flashed across the screen. Um...WRONG!!! Justin Morneau beat Josh Hamilton in the finals. Yeah, what Hamilton did was awesome (30 bombs in the first round or something like that) but he LOST. Sure, Hamilton recovered from being addicted to every drug on the planet, but guess what? HE LOST!!! It was so bad that the man who congratulated Morneau called him "Jason Morneau".

I'm sure Morneau likes being off the radar, but what does Morneau have to do to become a household name? Morneau is a different player who should be recognized. Yeah, he plays in a small market, and yeah he's not running around drunk on ESPN saying how the Red Sox rule the world, but when you think about it Morneau is not your typical power hitting first baseman. A guy like Ryan Howard drools all over the place and just thinks about home runs. Morneau can get on base other ways, such as a single the other way or taking a walk. Not only can he score 100 runs, but he can also take 100 walks in a season. His on base percentage will be towards .400 by the end of the season. He's a true superstar.

Instead he plays in Minnesota, the land that nobody wants a part of. Just ask Ricky Rubio.

NL All-Star Team...the whole team

I'll do this a little bit differently. I'm going to list them by team. It's easier for me to tell if I have all 16 NL teams represented.

* denotes starters

** denotes currently injured

Catchers:

Yadier Molina (STL)*

Brian McCann (ATL)

1st Basemen:

Albert Pujols (STL)*

Ryan Howard (PHI)

Prince Fielder (MIL)

2nd Basemen:

Chase Utley (PHI)*

Orlando Hudson (LAD)

3rd Basemen:

David Wright (NYM)*

Ryan Zimmerman (WSH)

Chipper Jones (ATL)

Shortstop:

Hanley Ramierez (FLA)*

Miguel Tejada (HOU)

Outfield:

Raul Ibanez (PHI)*

Ryan Braun (MIL)*

Carlos Beltran (NYM)**

Brad Hawpe (COL)

Justin Upton (ARI)

Delwyn Young (PIT)

Pitchers:

Johan Santana (NYM)

Tim Lincecum (SF)*

Matt Cain (SF)

Jason Marquis (COL)

Chad Billingsley (LAD)

Yovanni Gallardo (MIL)

Jonny Cueto (CIN)

Closers:

Heath Bell (SD)

Trevor Hoffman (MIL)

Jonathan Broxton (LAD)

Francisco Rodriguez (NYM)