Dear T.J.,

How have you been so far this season? My favorite team, the Minnesota Vikings, have been having a great season. We're 8-1 and it looks like at the very least we're going to win the division. Isn't that exciting!

Hey, remember in March when you came over to Minneapolis and you were a free agent? I remember going on a Vikings blog and refreshing repeatedly to see what you would do. I mean, they were following your limo like you were Brett Favre or something. Wasn't that fun?

Then after you wined and dined with the Wilfs, who probably took you to Manny's (home of the 50 dollar hashbrowns) Steakhouse, you decided to sleep on your decision. I would have to sleep on it too if two teams were offering me financial security for me and my family for the next 3-5 years. Well, actually, you didn't sleep at all. You flew to Seattle, where the Seahawks stole you away. I was pretty sad at the time, but now, I have something to say to you...

Thank you.

You see, many things have gone right since you decided not to come here. First of all, we now have receivers that are not only better than you, but better than you've ever dreamed of being. We drafted this Percy Harvin kid, who is 10 years younger than you are, and a lot of people thought he was a thug. Nope, instead Percy has been a model teammate and, unlike you, he can return kickoffs at an elite level. The guy you were going to replace is having a good year too. Sidney Rice is way better at moving the ball from 20 to 20 right now than your aging carcass.

I also heard that you didn't like our quarterbacks. I mean, I agree with you. Well, that is until we got this Brett Favre guy. Did you know he invented time travel? Awesome stuff!

I hope things are going well for you in Seattle, but I know that they aren't. Yup, life sucks in Seattle, go figure! It rains all the time, your quarterback is normally in a body cast, and your coach makes Eric Mangini look like Tony Dungy! It's all relative, I know.

But honestly, thank you. Sure, we might have still had Brett Favre had you not left, but we also would have had Michael Oher at right tackle and enough commercials for The Blind Side to make us puke. Thanks, and enjoy your ass kicking Sunday.

Sincerely,

Christopher Ryan Schad

P.S. Aren't the Bengals doing well right now! 7-2! Who knew???