I am a proud Minnesotan. Nobody should make a mistake about that. Like I said in a recent interview, I bleed all kinds of Minnesota colors including pissing "Minnesota Gold." However, after living in Wisconsin a little while, I can see that we are entertained very easily.
For example, in Minnesota we just go out into the middle of nowhere to go drink beer and maybe, we'll get an opportunity to shoot a deer. We also saw a body of water freeze, and we decided to throw on some ice skates and glide around on it. Don't get me wrong, we're very creative, especially in the winter months, but we're very easily entertained.
Which leads me to a tradition on a Minnesota sports broadcast. No, I'm not talking about G.B. Leighton's "Twins Territory" song. (Oh yuck it's in my head again. "We got Mauer and Morneau...sometimes it might snow! Out at Target Field, yeah the wind it just might blow! MINNEAPOLIS! ROCHESTER! WINONA!!! Ugh..) I'm talking about Circle Me Bert.
Circle Me Bert made it's debut shortly after the Twins renissance in 2002. Some Minnesotan was very desperate to get on TV, so he made a sign that ordered Twins color commentator Bert Blyleven to circle him with the telestrator. Bert obliged, and it opened up the freakin floodgates. There was even a song that was almost worse than G.B. Leighton's monstrosity about the damn thing! (Couldn't find it folks...YouTube has let me down...)
Here's the thing, Twins fans...you are NOT being creative with your signs. I've seen many better signs than your Circle Me Bert signs. For example, at Wrestlemania XXVI last month, there were signs such as "HHH fears Divorce", "Boo This Man!", and my personal favorite "It's still real to me, God dammit!!!"
Another thing is, I don't care that it's your 50th birthday, especially since there are bars to celebrate your 50th birthday at a Twins game now. You seriously should be at the Town Ball Tavern with this song blaring in between innings. (I also think this should be the celebration song for home runs instead of "Let's Go Crazy" by Prince) I also don't care about Batchelor parties unless one of the members literally throws up on Robbie Incmikowski (Spelling is horribly off, I'm sorry, folks. His name seriously makes me miss Telly Hughes). I don't care about barmitzvahs or wedding anniversaries, we all go to Twins games to celebrate that stuff and "getting circled" isn't going to make your event better or worse.
This ridiculous concept has also leaked onto video games. If you have ever watched a replay on Madden, you may have noticed that there is a fan holding up a sign that says "Circle Me Madden." At this point, we need to take some advice from the late, great Owen Hart. "Enough is Enough and it's time for a change!!!"
Stop bringing your signs to the ballpark unless it's creative. No more "I want Mauer in the Shower, Circle Me Bert" or "Square Me Bert", or "I just got divorced, Circle Me Bert!" (Actually, bring the last one, that would be awesome.) There's much more we can do with this.
My favorite three "Circle Me Bert" moments...
#3 - My buddy brings a sign that has Dick Bremer's picture all over it. The message on the sign? "I Love Dick."
#2 - A man brings a giant picture of Dick Bremer and implores Bert to "Circle My Dick."
#1 - Two gorgeous women are in the Home Run Porch holding up two signs. One has a sign that says "I like Bert Better." The other one? "I like Dick better." I'm sure you do!
So let's get creative here guys, Circle Me Bert needs to die, let's get entertaining!!!
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