2010: The Year That Almost Was

As you may know, well, you wouldn't if you didn't have a calendar, but tomorrow is New Years Eve as we say goodbye to 2010, and hello to 2011.

One year ago from tomorrow night, I was sitting in a River Falls bar when the clock struck midnight, everyone kissed each other and I just sipped on my beer and watched the ball drop...well an hour late of course. That's when things got interesting.

A friend of mine, who shall remain nameless, came up and asked why I wasn't kissing anyone. I smiled and said it was no big deal and then...MWAH! (On the cheek folks...) "The Year of The Crishad" was on!

Personally, I had a great year. I met two of the best friends I'll ever have, I graduated from the University of Wisconsin-River Falls, and many other great things happened. But, if I continued to talk about that, you'd get really bored and probably wouldn't want to read the rest of this blog. From a sports standpoint, this was the year that almost was.

The Minnesota Vikings started the year by looking like they were going to end a magical season with a trip to the Super Bowl. All was well until the 2nd half of the NFC Championship game as the ball was thrown on the turf of the Superdome with wreckless abandon. Still, the Vikings had a chance to give Ryan Longwell a chance to win the game with a field goal. Instead, 12 men in the huddle was called, and then Brett Favre, although we didn't know it at the time, had the carriage turn back into a pumpkin, the horses turn back into mice, and the glass slipper turn into a shattered mess.

The Vikings window of opportunity had closed, but nobody knew it at the time. From there, the Vikings ran into Favre being the Favre they thought they would get in 2009, and a stubborn Sidney Rice opting not to have surgery until weeks before the season. Some say it was to get a new contract, but we'll never know the truth. Then there was Brett Favre's sexting scandal, the four week test run of Randy Moss, the firing of Brad Childress, the deflation of the dome, and the beginning of a lengthly rebuilding project.

But, as the Vikings season came to a screetching halt, the Minnesota Twins looked to have a lot of promise. They picked up veterans who would lead the team in 2010. Jim Thome was supposed to be a pinch hitter extraordinare, but instead, he cranked 25 home runs. Orlando Hudson had an off year, but was pretty stable defensively.

Yet, the season didn't quite go according to plan. Joe Nathan got hurt before he even threw a pitch and needed Tommy John surgery. The Twins used Jon Rauch and Matt Capps to cover up that, but then on July 7, Justin Morneau went down with a concussion, which because of previous concussions, caused him to miss the rest of the season. The Twins perservered and made it to the playoffs, but once again, they fell to the New York Yankees in the ALDS.

There was one thing that went right for the Twins though. Target Field opened its doors and the Twins played their first outdoor home game since the 1981 season (Ironically, the Vikings would follow suit later with having a home game moved to TCF Bank Stadium). The ballpark was stunning, and a whole new experience for Twins fans who had never seen an outdoor major league game. There were all sorts of food options, and a beautiful view of downtown Minneapolis. It was highly praised and was probably the biggest story of 2010.

This could also be the year the Timberwolves got off the mat so to speak. The summer was supposed to be filled with big free agent moves, but Rudy Gay decided to stay in Memphis, and David Lee decided, justifiably, to get overpaid in Golden State. So Khan had to opt for a plan B. After getting screwed over in the draft lottery again, he picked up Wes Johnson with the #4 pick, as he looked like he would be a solid player. Then, Kahn wheeled and dealed and picked up Michael Beasley for a pair of second round picks. Throw in the trade of Al Jefferson to Utah for picks and a trade exception, and the Wolves, with the emergence of Kevin Love, may have laid the foundation for a solid team in the future.

And there was more going on than just what was in Minnesota. Michael Vick had resurrected his career on the football field, but was still being judged for his dog ring sins. (Execution? Really?) LeBron James had a jester like showing in the playoffs, and then left town to join up with Dwayne Wade and Chris Bosh in Miami. The World Cup was...the World Cup, I guess. And many things could happen going into the next year.

Most importantly though, my friends and family are all healthy and happy. I guess that's a good thing, but sports always keeps things interesting. So for those reading this, I'll just say that I hope you had a great 2010 and hopefully things will continue in 2011. Happy new year!

Baby, It's Cold Outside (But not cold enough to stop football)

Think of football. In the snow. Extreme conditions, snow flying everywhere with 90 mile an hour winds and a windchill that looks like my bank account from time to time.

The Frozen Tundra of Lambeau Field. Cold, cold, cold stuff!

However, in modern day 2010 (almost 2011), football players and fans have turned into pansies when it comes to the cold weather. Why do I say this?

As of 10:46 CST, the NFL was debating whether the Vikings/Eagles should be postponed to avoid a massive blizzard that could dump up to a foot of snow on the city of Philadelphia. Um, really?

What happened to the ice bowl? There were no heating coils or anything else in the field, and they went out and played. Remember Bud Grant? He wouldn't even let the Vikings have heaters on the sideline so they could focus more on the game.

Flash forward to last Monday night. Chris Kluwe whined, bitched, and moaned about the cold weather and how nobody wanted to play in it, and how hard the turf was at TCF Bank Stadium.

Sigh...IT'S FOOTBALL!!! It's meant to play outside! The toughness of these players is ridiculous. I'm all for making the game safer as Harvey Dent claims he wants to do (and yet he wants an 18 game season...), but seriously, handle the cold. Embrace the cold.

If you asked a majority of high school or college players, they would love to play in the cold, the snow, and whatever else was thrown at them. Sure, they'd rather play in Miami, but this is what's wrong with the NFL and it's fan.

I found it disgusting how many people didn't show up to the Viking game Sunday. I know they suck and "oh, waaaah! It's too cold! Waaaah!" But man up!

My uncle used to go to numberous games a year at Metropolitan Stadium and they dealt with it. They embraced it, while the Vikings looked like they needed a blankie last Sunday.

Bottom line, stop the madness. It's clear that the Vikings are cursed. Snow is going to follow them wherever they go, and Ford Field better look out because it might just collapse as soon as the Vikings fly into town.

Minnesota Vikings Report Card

So, we aren't going to the Super Bowl now?

The Minnesota Vikings fell to 5-9 on Monday night and they're most likely falling to 5-11 (Yes, Detroit will beat the Vikings in week 17. Restore the roar!). But it's just not fair.

I'm not asking for sympathy here, but this isn't how things were supposed to be. The window of opportunity wasn't supposed to close when Garrett Hartley sent the Saints to the Super Bowl. The Vikings were supposed to finally get to the Super Bowl for the first time in 35 years. Brett Favre was supposed to be carried off on his teammates shoulders while Brad Childress was cussing him out.

Of course, it didn't even come close. The season was over before it started, and now we're left to wonder what went wrong. Well, it's time to put this team under a microscope. In this post, I'll analyze and grade every position player the Vikings have along with the group.

(WARNING: THIS POST WILL CONTAIN SOME VULGAR LANGUAGE! If you are offended, simply don't read it. But I'll try not to go overboard.)

Quarterbacks:
Well, you don't have to take a look at many people here, as Brett Favre is the only legitimate guy to get a complete evaluation. Favre was supposed to be the missing piece in the operation, as if he came back...we were supposedly going to Dallas. Wrong...WRONG! Dallas was out of the question by the end of October, not January.

When you think about it, Favre was the distraction we all thought he would be in 2009. Favre once again skipped training camp and clashed with his head coach, but it was more than that. It was having pictures of his cash and prizes floating all over the internet. It was the will-he-or-won't-he-play storyline that finally ended...oh wait, he played last week. And it finally got into Favre's head on the field.

He threw 11 touchdowns and 19 interceptions. None of us expected him to repeat the 34 and 7 performance from '09, but the writing should have been on the wall. The schedule was tougher, and the Vikings did nothing to address the offensive line that was finally exposed in the NFC Championship game last year. This all lead to Favre's reduced performance.

In other QB news, Tarvaris Jackson learned nothing after watching Favre for two seasons, and Joe Webb is too raw to evaluate at this point.

Brett Favre: C-
Tarvaris Jackson: F
Joe Webb: Incomplete

RUNNING BACKS

Adrian Peterson continued to be one of the best backs in the National Football League. Aside from missing last week's game (which KILLED fantasy owners across the country), Peterson continues to be a reliable force. With all the struggles that the offensive line has had this year, Peterson still has put together a solid statistical season, and figures to be an integral part of the Viking offense for years to come. (If they sign him to a contract extension this offseason.)

Other than Peterson, it was pretty dismal. The Vikings could not find a third down back, which is partially Peterson's part. Toby Gehart is a solid runner, but his style is too similar to Adrian Peterson's to give the Vikings the thunder and lightning combo they want. (Javid Best would have looked decent in purple.) Albert Young didn't do much, and Lorenzo Booker has been here for two weeks.

Adrian Peterson: B+
Toby Gerhart: C
Albert Young: F

WIDE RECEIVERS

This group was in trouble from the get go. Sidney Rice decided not to get hip surgery until August and missed most of the season. When he finally got here, the season was already doomed and Sidney did his best with a quarterback who couldn't keep upright long enough to get him the football. The latter is not his fault, but if Sid gets the surgery earlier, the season probably is different.

The one receiver to talk about is Percy Harvin. Harvin has blossomed into an elite impact player in the NFL IF he can keep his migraines in check. It's getting pretty annoying to see him get relapse after relapse and have the Vikings claim they have a way to stop it. Harvin, like Peterson, is a guy the Vikings must hang on to for continued success.

The rest of the group was garbage. I'm throwing Visthante Shiancoe into the mix because he is a pass catching tight end. He did nothing. Randy Moss did nothing but bitch about the post-practice meals. Hank Baskett was...here? For a team with plenty of weapons, this was a mess.

Sidney Rice: C
Percy Harvin: A
Everyone else: F

OFFENSIVE LINE

Where do I begin? Well let's work our way from left to right...

Bryant McKinnie. To quote The Rock "It looks like a big monkey came down, took a crap, and out popped Bryant McKinnie." It was like watching dog shit try and protect Brett Favre. Sometimes the shit would get stepped in and the players would slip and fall, but most of the time, the defensive lineman whizzed right past it and beat the living hell out of Favre. This is the #1 guy who needs to be let go next season.

Steve Hutchinson. Well, I guess you don't want to hear anything about your offensive lineman, and since you didn't about Hutchinson, he probably did his job. But when you're surrounded by four other jobbers, you aren't going to stand out in any group projects.

John Sullivan. And I thought Matt Birk was arrogant. After a game against Detroit, Sullivan said that he thought they did a good job protecting Brett Favre after he was sacked seven...SEVEN times and bounced off the turf much more. Injuries may have had something to do with it, but he also needs to be replaced.

Anthony Herrera. Oh my God. Get rid of him.

Phil Loadholt. Horrible sophomore slump. He was at least OK in '09, but what the hell happened. I still have a little faith in him and think he'll bounce back, but I might be optimistic.

Bryant McKinnie: F
Steve Hutchinson: B
John Sullivan: F
Anthony Herrera: F
Phil Loadholt: F

DEFENSIVE LINE

This unit, like most of the defense, got old very quickly. They didn't seem to have that initial jump that they had in '09 and a lot of that can be contributed to the dissapearing act of Jared Allen. The league decided to start fining him for the calf roping celebration, but instead of modifying it, Allen decided to scrap it all together, by not getting sacks at all.

Ray Edwards, perhaps angered by the absence of a new contract, didn't play the same way he did in '09 when he was considered to be a rising star.

Kevin and Pat Williams were unnoticable. This might have to do with the guys playing outside of them not playing up to their capabilities.

Jared Allen: F (The Vikings aren't paying him for seasons like this...)
Pat Williams: C
Kevin Williams: C
Ray Edwards: F

LINEBACKERS

This might be the best unit on the Vikings. Chad Greenway is going to get paid somewhere and hopefully the Vikings dish out some dough. E.J. Henderson had an excellent year considering he had his leg crushed like a slinky to end his season last year. Ben Leber, was...Leber. Unspectacular, but surprisingly solid. Will be a nice free agent pickup for someone next offseason.

Chad Greenway: A-
EJ Henderson: A (Lower curve because of the injury he had last season)
Ben Leber: C+

SECONDARY

Ugh. Injuries don't help the secondary here, and Cedric Griffin's career may be over as he is now recovering from two blown knees. Antoine Winfield has been solid, but not spectacular this season, and his performance is similar to Steve Hutchinson's. Yeah, he was probably doing a great job, but the overall product makes his grade suffer. Chris Cook spent too much time partying to be effective, and and the safeties...oh my God the safties.

Hussein Abdullah is not a starting safety in the NFL. And Madieu Williams is the Bryant McKinnie of defense. It makes me sad that the Vikings still owe Williams three seasons of contract because he should be cut ASAP. It seems sick, but I'm glad he got a concussion last night.

Antoine Winfield: B
Lito Sheppard: F
Chris Cook: D
Madieu Williams: F
Hussein Abdullah: C

SPECIAL TEAMS

Maybe better than the linebackers. Both Ryan Longwell and Chris Kluwe made the kicks they needed to make. Kluwe has shanked a couple kicks, but what punter hasn't shanked a couple during a season. A good job from those two.

Ryan Longwell: A
Chris Kluwe: A-

COACHING

I think everyone knows how I feel about Brad Childress, but Leslie Frasier intrigues me. The Vikings might be wise to hire Frasier and give him a shot, especially with the CBA becoming expired in March. The only thing that may give him a negative mark is him caving into Brett Favre on Monday night.

Brad Childress: F
Leslie Frasier: Incomplete

Fear The Beer?

Minnesotans don't have much to brag about when it comes to their rivalry with Wisconsinites. In football, the Green Bay Packers are set up for multiple successful seasons, while the Vikings don't even have a stadium. The Milwaukee Bucks have an explosive, young team, while the Timberwolves are just young. College football is a route, and hopefully college basketball can slightly favor the Gophers.

But there is one thing that Minnesotans can hold high and proud over Wisconsinites: The Minnesota Twins have been better than the Milwaukee Brewers. That's something the Brewers are clearly looking to change.

Throughout their history, the Brewers have been happy to be that scrappy team, very similar to the Minnesota Twins without the playoff appearances. Last year, they weren't even close.

Their offense was very good, as three players recorded over 100 runs batted in for the first team in team history, and that was with Prince Fielder having an off year. However, the pitching left something to be desired outside of Yovanni Gallardo. That's been a bit of a problem for the Brewers since their recent resurgence.

So the Brewers actually turned around and did something about it. The Brewers made a solid move acquiring Shawn Marcum for prospect 2B Brent Lawrie. Then came the big news today.

The Brewers acquired Zack Greinke for Alcides Escobar, Lorenzo Cain, and two minor league pitchers.

I can not applaud the ownership of the Brewers enough for making this move. The Brewers are sick of losing games by a score of 9-8 and they turned around and did something about it. Which makes me think of my baseball team.

The Minnesota Twins always claim that they want to get past the first round of the playoffs, however they never act like it during the offseason. Yes, they wanted and needed to get faster. To an extent, they did that with the addition of Tsyoshi Nishioka and the assumed move of Michael Cuddyer from first base to right field. But still, they lack a legitimate ace, and with the Royals looking for adequate major league ready middle infielders, why didn't the Twins package Trevor Plouffe and Luke Hughes to get the ace they need. (All of this could have been squelched with the refusal by the Royals to deal Grienke in the division.)

The Pohlads need to man up and improve this team. The Twins didn't lose to the Yankees because of injuries or a freak occurence of the Yankees coming back in three straight games. They lost because of the unwillingness to improve their team, and the thought by their manager that Nick Punto needs to be on this team to go anywhere.

For once, the Brewers could be on the right path while the Twins may be headed for a long summer.

Breathing Life Into A New Vikings Stadium

The big inflatable toilet took a turn for the worse on Saturday evening as 17 inches of snow dumped over the Twin Cities area.

The Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome, former home of the Minnesota Twins and current home of the Minnesota Vikings, deflated as Mother Nature took a huge dump on it's roof tearing holes and giving the blue seats inside of the dome it's first view of the sun since 1983. That would have been great...had the stadium had a retractable roof.

Much like the other teams that had made the Metrodome its home, the Vikings have found that although it is functional, it's falling apart. Both the Twins and the University of Minnesota have new homes and have moved out as both got their public funding approved in the same legislation session.

The Vikings were left out of that, and the Minnesota legislature is under pressure to make that happen. A lot of the public has made their disdain for a new Viking stadium public, mainly because it would use taxpayer money to fund a private business. Well, I have a problem with that.

A new Viking stadium would bring many things to the table. The most relevant on this day is the safety issues that are starting to arise at the Metrodome. Apparently, staff workers were on top of the dome roof on Saturday night pouring steam and hot water on top of it to melt the piling snow. Remember, this was during a blizzard. They took the workers down, and as the pressure mounted, the roof finally gave way at about 5 am CST. What if the game continued to be scheduled at noon and BOOM! There goes the roof! The video of the collapse showed speakers swinging wildly and snow pouring in from every angle. If 64,000 people were crammed in there at the time of collapse, how bad would it have gotten.

Also, the tight concourses at the Metrodome pose another hazard. Had this happened during a game, people would have been running for their life through an incredibly tight concourse. If you've been to a game at the Dome, you know what I mean.

But people who do not go to Viking games are still screaming "What does this do for me?"

Football stadiums are probably the most important type of stadiums to improve the economy and make a metropolis area a place to be. Look at the new addition of Target Field in downtown Minneapolis. Many businesses have seen an uptick in business thanks to 81 home dates a year. People go downtown to what is a beautiful ballpark and they spend money at bars, restaurants, etc.

It also enhances the look of the downtown area. Next time you drive by the Dome, when it's inflated of course, look at how ugly the big slab of concrete and teflon looks against the Minneapolis skyline. Then follow I-94 a little bit further and see how beautiful Target Field looks against the same skyline. It makes a pretty big difference.

A new stadium would also bring many different events that could not be hosted in the Metrodome or any other sporting venue. For example, the Super Bowl requires that there must be a seating capacity of 70,000 to be considered. The Dome holds 64,000. The NCAA has similar requirements for the Final Four. Both events would bring big bucks to the Twin Cities Area.

"But why do I have to pay for something I'll never use?"

Why did many Minnesotans have to pay for the Guthrie with public funding? How is professional sports different from a performing art. Last time I checked, the athletes in the game are performing for many people around the world. Unless I find a really hot date that wants to go, odds are that I will never set foot in the Guthrie, but it makes the Twin Cities a better place, which is what the new stadium would do.

If you are still dead set against this stadium, I have one smug, arrogant jab to offer: It's going to happen. If not now, in 10 years.

If the Vikings move to Los Angeles, there will be a huge void in the Twin Cities area, especially among sports fans. They'll want a hometown football team to cheer for. They'll talk to their representative who builds a task force to "Bring Football Back To Minnesota." They'll wind up getting an expansion team and will build the stadium that would have kept the old team (and their tradition) there.

Think I'm wrong? Well, the Minnesota Wild would have something to say about that...

How Brett Favre Will Return For The 2011 Season

We've heard Brett Favre repeatedly mention that the 2010 season will be his 20th and last season. Well, season #20 has not gone well for the ageless wonder, as he is zeroing in on 20 interceptions and now has a gruesome shoulder injury, which somehow might not keep him out of the Vikings game against the New York Giants on Sunday.

This season alone, Favre has derailed a locker room, hucked up mind-blowing interceptions, reverted back to bad Favre after a pro-bowl season last year, had pictures of his cash and prizes shown all over the internet, and suffered a broken ankle and separated shoulder which won't deny him of his obvious quest for 300 straight starts. After all this, you have to believe Favre right?

Or maybe not...

You see, there is a way that Favre can come back, but it's about as stupid as that McDonalds commercial for carmel mochas. (These people are way too excited for their frickin' coffee.) But, dream it.

Favre's body is a wreck and he probably will need a giant stretcher to get around from point A to point B when he goes back to Hattiesburg for the offseason. He'll retire because his body is being held together by duct tape, but then June will come around. Here comes that itch to scratch...

Favre walks into Dr. James Andrews' office, who has performed the surgeries that have gotten Favre ready to play the past two seasons and says, "Hey, I'm beat to shit. But I was watching this movie last night and it gave me a really great idea for how I can get ready for this season." Andrews reluctantly goes with the surgery, which can be seen here.


Yes, Darth Favre will be born (or Favre Vader...whichever you prefer.).

Favre will study The Force over the season and will have an obvious advantage over quarterbacks. I'm talking about deflecting passes with his mind to avoid interceptions, randomly showing up in the endzone for a touchdown, and my personal favorite...

Packer fans love Clay Matthews don't they? They call him "Predator" and it's just a cozy relationship. So when he goes after Darth Favre, how good will he be when he's EVAPORATED BY THE FORCE???

Darth Favre could even get labor peace. When DeMaurice Smith and Roger Goodell are throwing money around like Pac Man Jones at a strip club, how awesome would it be if Favre did this and screamed "I'M GOING TO PLAY DAMMIT!!!"

I mean, things could really get crazy. What if Aaron Rodgers learns The Force himself and there winds up being a massive light saber fight at the 50 yard line of Lambeau Field for the fate of the galaxy?

Yes, this all sounds far fetched, but come on. We've been fooled by Favre before...

Killer Move or Killer Bust

I can't tell you all how many titles I could have used for this blog post. Killer Instinct, In For The Kill, Teach Me How To Kill, etc. However, there may be one universal saying that all Gopher fans can say right now...

"Who the hell is that???"

For the second time in the past five years, Gopher fans know nothing about the guy who was just hired as the head coach of the football program. Well, let's get that out of the way...

Jerry Kill has been at Northern Illinois for the past three seasons where he went 23-16 for the Huskies. Last season, he went 10-3 and lead the Huskies to a top 25 ranking. Before that Kill posted winning records at several FCS schools. He has been a head coach for 16 seasons.

Ok, so why is he at Minnesota?

Well, first off all, Minnesota athletic director Joel Maturi made a mistake by saying that he wanted to make a "Tubby Smith type hire" when replacing Tim Brewster. That made Gopher fans drool about names that were unrealistic in their coaching search. Yes, there were coaches available who were "big names", but that brings me to my next point.

University of Minnesota football is not an attractive job at the moment...

First, the university is changing presidents who, like a coaching staff, will want his own guy in there. I'm thinking that the president of the university made this decision rather than Maturi himself.

Second, the U of M has a shrinking athletic budget. They didn't have a lot of money to make a big name come to Minnesota. So if you were hoping for Chris Petersen (Boise State), Gary Patterson (TCU), or Brady Hoke (San Diego State), be aware that there were big buyouts associated with all three.

Finally, the Gophers have no recent success or tradition to speak of to make the job attractive. Yes, they have a giant stadium (which is REALLY nice, by the way.), but the product that plays in it hasn't produced a coach with a winning record since Murray Warmath left in 1971 with a 97-84-10 record. So that means that the Gophers couldn't even make Lou Holtz a winning head coach. Ouch.

Yes, the Gophers have won 18 Big Ten Championships, but the last came in 1967. The fan base is incredibly dormant. (Does anybody under the age of 80 know what SKI-U-MAH means?) The stadium they play in is half empty on Saturdays...and I could go on for a while.

All of this means a lot, but when you look at it, Kill does fit the description of the anti-Brewster, which is what Maturi wanted to hire.

1) As I mentioned before, Maturi wanted to hire a guy who had experience at the D-I level. When Brewster came on board a couple seasons ago, he had no previous head coaching experience and hadn't even been a coordinator. Kill, meanwhile, has been a head coach for 16 years coming into his new job.

2) Kill brings stability to the program, which it hasn't had in a very long time. Remember that Brewster had changed coaches almost annually, especially at the coordinator level. Kill's assistants have stayed with him for most of his coaching adventure. It's not known whether they will join him at Minnesota, but I think it's a good possibility.

3) Kill is a rebuilder. In all of his stops, Kill has rebuilt a program. His most recent stop, Northern Illinois was supposed to be on the decline. He wound up going 6-7, 7-6, and 10-3. Not terrible for a guy that has a lower level of talent. Well, supposedly.

Look, it's not a big name, but patience will be required. Kill has a solid team coming back next year as the Gophers don't lose much on either side of the football. Players should improve, and maybe those two wins at the end of the season will provide some sort of momentum. We'll see what he can do. Brewster did put some talent on this team and maybe Kill can trot the Gophers out and pick up that first win of the season in his debut!

Oh wait...they play at USC. Well, maybe the next week!

LeBitch Returns to Cleveland

Tomorrow, LeBro...I'm sorry...LeBitch James will make his long awaited return to Cleveland, and it's going to make for some damn good television.

We all know what James did last summer, when he had several NBA teams ride in on horses and wearing knight suits courting "The King's" services. However, when the smoke had cleared, not only had he left the Cleveland Cavaliers, he did it with a one hour special on ESPN to really turn the dagger in the heart of Cleveland sports fans.

Now, I am nowhere near an advocate for Cleveland sports, but they've had a lot to deal with in the sports world. A lot of people whine about Minnesota, but at least the Twins have won two World Series to salvage something. Cleveland has not won a major sports championship since the 1950's.

They've had a couple of great players, but none were able to lead Cleveland to the promised land. However, none of them left before they needed to...and then came LeBitch.

I'm not going to blame them for making "The Q" a complete riot zone tomorrow night. Hell, if Joe Mauer had left the Twins, we'd be ready to tear down Target Field. For this momentus occasion, the Cleveland faithful has been circulating a document around the internet. I was fortunate enough to hear about this on 93x this morning, and here's what the document said. (Sorry, I can't find a link to post it. Bear with me...)

Throughout the game: Laugh at LeBron as loud as you can when he is announced.

For example, the starting lineups...
Boo Dwayne Wade
Boo Chris Bosh
Boo Carlos Arroyo
Cheer Zydrunas Illgauskas (They still love him in CLE apparently...)
Laugh at James

When LeBron has the ball or is shooting free throws during these times...
12:00-6:00 in the first quarter: NO-RING-KING!! NO-RING-KING

6:00 to end of first quarter: Ak-Ron Hates-You (clap-clap-clap-clap-clap)

12:00 to 6:00 in 2nd quarter: WITNESSED NOTHING!!! (clap-clap-clap-clap-clap)

6:00 to halftime: Siiiiide-kick! Siiiiiide-kick!

Start of third quarter (My personal favorite, this is sung to My Country Tis of Thee):
Our king he betrayed thee!
Couldn't play any D!
HE HAS NO RING!
Playoffs he barely tried!
Embarrassed Akron's pride!
No doubt he really lied!
HE HAS NO RING!!!

12:00 to 6:00 in 3rd quarter: Scott-ie Pip-pen! (clap-clap-clap-clap-clap!)

6:00 to end of 3rd quarter: Traiiii-tor! Traiii-tor!

12:00 to 6:00 of 4th quarter: De-Lon-Te! De-Lon-Te! (For those of you who may not know, Delonte West, who plays for the Boston Celtics and qualifies for the ugliest man on the history of the earth, allegedly had sex with Gloria James, LeBitch's mom.)

Rest of game: Cleveland Rocks! Cleveland Rocks!!!

Some people may feel that these people need a life, but I think this is awesome. This is a NBA game I actually care about before April. This is going to be intense. A crazy man may run onto the court and may try to give LeBitch the F-U John Cena style. Should be interesting.