Tomorrow, LeBro...I'm sorry...LeBitch James will make his long awaited return to Cleveland, and it's going to make for some damn good television.
We all know what James did last summer, when he had several NBA teams ride in on horses and wearing knight suits courting "The King's" services. However, when the smoke had cleared, not only had he left the Cleveland Cavaliers, he did it with a one hour special on ESPN to really turn the dagger in the heart of Cleveland sports fans.
Now, I am nowhere near an advocate for Cleveland sports, but they've had a lot to deal with in the sports world. A lot of people whine about Minnesota, but at least the Twins have won two World Series to salvage something. Cleveland has not won a major sports championship since the 1950's.
They've had a couple of great players, but none were able to lead Cleveland to the promised land. However, none of them left before they needed to...and then came LeBitch.
I'm not going to blame them for making "The Q" a complete riot zone tomorrow night. Hell, if Joe Mauer had left the Twins, we'd be ready to tear down Target Field. For this momentus occasion, the Cleveland faithful has been circulating a document around the internet. I was fortunate enough to hear about this on 93x this morning, and here's what the document said. (Sorry, I can't find a link to post it. Bear with me...)
Throughout the game: Laugh at LeBron as loud as you can when he is announced.
For example, the starting lineups...
Boo Dwayne Wade
Boo Chris Bosh
Boo Carlos Arroyo
Cheer Zydrunas Illgauskas (They still love him in CLE apparently...)
Laugh at James
When LeBron has the ball or is shooting free throws during these times...
12:00-6:00 in the first quarter: NO-RING-KING!! NO-RING-KING
6:00 to end of first quarter: Ak-Ron Hates-You (clap-clap-clap-clap-clap)
12:00 to 6:00 in 2nd quarter: WITNESSED NOTHING!!! (clap-clap-clap-clap-clap)
6:00 to halftime: Siiiiide-kick! Siiiiiide-kick!
Start of third quarter (My personal favorite, this is sung to My Country Tis of Thee):
Our king he betrayed thee!
Couldn't play any D!
HE HAS NO RING!
Playoffs he barely tried!
Embarrassed Akron's pride!
No doubt he really lied!
HE HAS NO RING!!!
12:00 to 6:00 in 3rd quarter: Scott-ie Pip-pen! (clap-clap-clap-clap-clap!)
6:00 to end of 3rd quarter: Traiiii-tor! Traiii-tor!
12:00 to 6:00 of 4th quarter: De-Lon-Te! De-Lon-Te! (For those of you who may not know, Delonte West, who plays for the Boston Celtics and qualifies for the ugliest man on the history of the earth, allegedly had sex with Gloria James, LeBitch's mom.)
Rest of game: Cleveland Rocks! Cleveland Rocks!!!
Some people may feel that these people need a life, but I think this is awesome. This is a NBA game I actually care about before April. This is going to be intense. A crazy man may run onto the court and may try to give LeBitch the F-U John Cena style. Should be interesting.
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