Welcome back to another exaggeration period by yours truly. Today's lesson is the food chain in college basketball. At the top of the food chain are the legendary names and teams of college basketball. Names such as John Wooden and Bobby Knight and teams such as North Carolina, Kentucky, and Duke. However, maybe one more name should be added to that list. He is the coach of the Minnesota Golden Gophers, Tubby Smith.
I remember as a kid watching the Gopher basketball. It was fourth grade and it was exciting as hell. The Gophers were led by big names such as Sam Jacobson, John Thomas, and Bobby Jackson. I even remember that Courtney James wound up being in deep trouble for beating his girlfriend. The Gophers were unstoppable that year. The Gophers wound up going to the Final Four where they lost to Kentucky.
Yes, that year techincally doesn't count in the record books due to the recruiting scandal that rocked the program, but I've been waiting for that same excitement from Gopher basketball for years now. I think the Gophers are finally going to deliver.
When the Gophers were a perennial NCAA tournament team, they had many intangibles. They had explosive players, players that if they were down in a game, they'd come back come hell or high water. They were led by a good coach in Clem Haskins. Say what you want about Clem, but he was a damn good basketball coach. Teams would come to the Barn, pee their pants, and leave with a 20 to 50 point loss. Life was good.
Now, Tubby Smith is bringing that feeling back. When he was hired a couple seasons ago, it was a head scratcher. Not from our standpoint, but why would Kentucky hate this guy so much to make him leave? Tubby didn't do much in Lexington. He guided his team to 10 NCAA tournaments, he got to a couple Final Fours and won a national championship. God, he sucked in Lexington. Ashley Judd had the complete right to rip his heart out and eat it in front of everyone. Shame on you. Actually, the entire state of Kentucky is an insane asylum. I'm pretty sure that the nation's highest incest rate occurs in the state as well.
Tubby is showing why he kicks ass in Minnesota. Tubby is already doing what Dan Monson couldn't. A) Field a competitive team and B) Get some kick ass recruits. Looking at the current team, Tubby has brought in Colton Iverson and Ralph Sampson III. This next year, our jaws just might hit the floor when Royce White and Rodney Williams set foot in The Barn. Not to mention that Tubby has led a team to a 16-2 record with mediocre talent. Tubby Smith does the most with the least amount of talent. Just ask a Kentucky fan right now how they are doing.
Although, the Gophers have been a bit sloppy lately, their wins against Louisville and at Wisconsin could be the start of something beautiful. If the Gophers can knock off Purdue at The Barn tommorow, the Gophers could be a team on the rise.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Monday, January 19, 2009
Superbowl Homeboy...
So once again I should apologize for not updating as much as I should be. This computer issue will be resolved shortly and hopefully we'll be up and running in no time.
I've missed a lot over the past week, but I can't miss anything related to football.
THE ARIZONA CARDINALS ARE GOING TO THE SUPER BOWL!!! You have no idea how excited I am about this. There are many good things to come out of the Cardinals going to the Super Bowl. First and foremost, it gives any team in the NFL hope for the future. Think about this. Ever since I started watching football, the Cardinals have always sucked. Even in 1998 when the Cardinals came into the Metrodome for an ass kicking in the NFC Divisional Playoff game, I still thought in the back of my mind that the Cardinals were 4-12 and were allowed into the playoffs as a sympathy vote. Now, the Cardinals have earned it and they have very good players on both sides of the ball (Mr. Fitzgerald, you are an absolute BEAST). If the Cardinals can make it, the Lions, the Vikings or any team in the NFL has the opportunity of getting there. If the Cardinals win, the idea of a Super Bowl championship for any team would become a reality.
The second plus is that Donovan McNabb may have played his last game as a Philadelphia Eagle. If that's the case, he could be wearing purple next season. McNabb threw for 375 yards yesterday. He also threw for 3 TDs. He was very solid, but the fans in Philadelphia still hate him. This could mean that McNabb would head elsewhere and he'd be a perfect fit for the Vikings. Remember, Childress was McNabb's offensive coordinator when he first came into the league. That's the main reason Childress is here right now, because he could take a "piece of clay" and mold it into an NFL quarterback. Unfortunately, Tarvaris Jackson still looks like the crappy plate that I made for my mom for Mother's Day in fourth grade. Hopefully, Zygi will open up the checkbook again and get Mr. McNabb to the Purple.
In the opposite corner, wearing the black and gold trunks are the Pittsburgh Steelers. These guys earned their way into the Super Bowl by surviving a steel cage match with the Baltimore Ravens. If the Ravens had an offense, it might be a different story, but Joe Flacco will improve over the offseason. There's nothing for Baltimore to be ashamed of. The Steelers come in with maybe the nastiest defense I've ever seen, including the 2000 Ravens. Every time Troy Polamalu makes an interception, it's an incredibly exciting play, maybe because of his hair, but the guy is a beast out there. It's going to be fun to see a great offense go up against a great defense. However, buyer beware.
The last time a similar scenario happened, was when Tampa Bay played Oakland in the Super Bowl. Oakland had a great offense that year, but Tampa Bay had a great defense and destroyed the Raiders, leading them into a massive free fall to where they still stand today.
So, as of now, I'd say the Steelers will win the Super Bowl. I'm not going out on a limb, but I think the game will be a lot closer than people think. You also should remember that Steeler fans travel INCREDIBLY well. Remember Super Bowl XL in Detroit? Yeah, that game was in Detroit, but it looked like it was at Heinz Field because of all the Steeler fans. Tampa Bay will probably be flooded with Steeler fans as well. I'm not going to give a score just yet, but I will make a formal prediction next week.
I've missed a lot over the past week, but I can't miss anything related to football.
THE ARIZONA CARDINALS ARE GOING TO THE SUPER BOWL!!! You have no idea how excited I am about this. There are many good things to come out of the Cardinals going to the Super Bowl. First and foremost, it gives any team in the NFL hope for the future. Think about this. Ever since I started watching football, the Cardinals have always sucked. Even in 1998 when the Cardinals came into the Metrodome for an ass kicking in the NFC Divisional Playoff game, I still thought in the back of my mind that the Cardinals were 4-12 and were allowed into the playoffs as a sympathy vote. Now, the Cardinals have earned it and they have very good players on both sides of the ball (Mr. Fitzgerald, you are an absolute BEAST). If the Cardinals can make it, the Lions, the Vikings or any team in the NFL has the opportunity of getting there. If the Cardinals win, the idea of a Super Bowl championship for any team would become a reality.
The second plus is that Donovan McNabb may have played his last game as a Philadelphia Eagle. If that's the case, he could be wearing purple next season. McNabb threw for 375 yards yesterday. He also threw for 3 TDs. He was very solid, but the fans in Philadelphia still hate him. This could mean that McNabb would head elsewhere and he'd be a perfect fit for the Vikings. Remember, Childress was McNabb's offensive coordinator when he first came into the league. That's the main reason Childress is here right now, because he could take a "piece of clay" and mold it into an NFL quarterback. Unfortunately, Tarvaris Jackson still looks like the crappy plate that I made for my mom for Mother's Day in fourth grade. Hopefully, Zygi will open up the checkbook again and get Mr. McNabb to the Purple.
In the opposite corner, wearing the black and gold trunks are the Pittsburgh Steelers. These guys earned their way into the Super Bowl by surviving a steel cage match with the Baltimore Ravens. If the Ravens had an offense, it might be a different story, but Joe Flacco will improve over the offseason. There's nothing for Baltimore to be ashamed of. The Steelers come in with maybe the nastiest defense I've ever seen, including the 2000 Ravens. Every time Troy Polamalu makes an interception, it's an incredibly exciting play, maybe because of his hair, but the guy is a beast out there. It's going to be fun to see a great offense go up against a great defense. However, buyer beware.
The last time a similar scenario happened, was when Tampa Bay played Oakland in the Super Bowl. Oakland had a great offense that year, but Tampa Bay had a great defense and destroyed the Raiders, leading them into a massive free fall to where they still stand today.
So, as of now, I'd say the Steelers will win the Super Bowl. I'm not going out on a limb, but I think the game will be a lot closer than people think. You also should remember that Steeler fans travel INCREDIBLY well. Remember Super Bowl XL in Detroit? Yeah, that game was in Detroit, but it looked like it was at Heinz Field because of all the Steeler fans. Tampa Bay will probably be flooded with Steeler fans as well. I'm not going to give a score just yet, but I will make a formal prediction next week.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Football...Football...Football
This time of the year is bittersweet. While the NFL is wrapping up and the fact that I won't be able to watch football until August hits me at this time, there are the NFL Playoffs that usually provide some awesome games. This weekend was no exception to the rule.
The weekend kicked off with the Ravens and the Titans. The Ravens have an insane defense and a lot of people picked them to upset the Titans. The Ravens offense didn't show up, but it didn't matter. The defense did enough to keep Tennessee off the board. The funny thing about this game is that it reminded me of a Vikings playoff game. The Titans played the role of the Vikings in the fact that they kept getting in position to score, but then would make a horrific mistake. Whether it was an interception or a fumble, the Titans couldn't get it done. The loss of Chris Johnson in the 2nd half also hurt the Titans. If Johnson were able to play, could the Titans have won? There's a good chance, but that didn't happen.
The 2nd game was an absolute shocker. Jake Delhomme dropped a Texas star on the Cardinals and they destroyed Carolina at home. To go with 5 INTs, Delhomme even lost a fumble. The Carolina defense didn't do any favors as Larry Fitzgerald went off. Everybody ripped the Cardinals coming into the playoffs but now they are one win away from the Super Bowl. The Cardinals haven't been in a conference championship game since the merger so the fans of the franchise deserve this.
Game 3 was a good game as well. The Eagles dethroned the Giants 23-11. The Eagles are on fire right now, but I think it had more to do with the Giants. Since Plaxico Burress self destructed, the Giants weren't themselves on the offensive side of the ball. The Giants need a game changer at wide receiver and while Steve Smith and Dominik Hixon are good receivers, they aren't ready to be "the guy". The further Philly goes, the less chance the Vikings or anybody else has of landing Donovan McNabb.
The final game was once again dictated by defense as the Steelers defeated the Chargers 35-24. The Chargers should be optimistic after this game however, as they will get a good draft pick and have a healthy Shawne Merriman and LaDanian Tomlinson next season. As for Pitt, they were able to hold the Chargers to one offensive play in the third quarter. That play was an interception by Phillip Rivers. That's insane.
So looking ahead at next weekend, the Cardinals will host the Eagles. A lot of people may count the Cardinals out, but the game is in Glendale. The Falcons had problems with the crowd noise in the wild card round of the playoffs and their fans have experienced one home playoff game since the team moved to Arizona. These teams are going to be rabid. I would love to see the Cardinals go to the Super Bowl, but I think Philly gets it done and continues their hot streak.
If you like blood and professional wrestling, the AFC Championship is your kind of game. This game may end 6-3. Both teams hate each other. They hate each other so much that they put bounties on the opposing teams players. This game will be nothing short of a steel cage match to go to the Super Bowl. I picked Pittsburgh to win the Super Bowl when the playoffs started, and I'm still taking them. The Steelers get into the head of the Ravens and they will use it to their advantage at Heinz Field.
The weekend kicked off with the Ravens and the Titans. The Ravens have an insane defense and a lot of people picked them to upset the Titans. The Ravens offense didn't show up, but it didn't matter. The defense did enough to keep Tennessee off the board. The funny thing about this game is that it reminded me of a Vikings playoff game. The Titans played the role of the Vikings in the fact that they kept getting in position to score, but then would make a horrific mistake. Whether it was an interception or a fumble, the Titans couldn't get it done. The loss of Chris Johnson in the 2nd half also hurt the Titans. If Johnson were able to play, could the Titans have won? There's a good chance, but that didn't happen.
The 2nd game was an absolute shocker. Jake Delhomme dropped a Texas star on the Cardinals and they destroyed Carolina at home. To go with 5 INTs, Delhomme even lost a fumble. The Carolina defense didn't do any favors as Larry Fitzgerald went off. Everybody ripped the Cardinals coming into the playoffs but now they are one win away from the Super Bowl. The Cardinals haven't been in a conference championship game since the merger so the fans of the franchise deserve this.
Game 3 was a good game as well. The Eagles dethroned the Giants 23-11. The Eagles are on fire right now, but I think it had more to do with the Giants. Since Plaxico Burress self destructed, the Giants weren't themselves on the offensive side of the ball. The Giants need a game changer at wide receiver and while Steve Smith and Dominik Hixon are good receivers, they aren't ready to be "the guy". The further Philly goes, the less chance the Vikings or anybody else has of landing Donovan McNabb.
The final game was once again dictated by defense as the Steelers defeated the Chargers 35-24. The Chargers should be optimistic after this game however, as they will get a good draft pick and have a healthy Shawne Merriman and LaDanian Tomlinson next season. As for Pitt, they were able to hold the Chargers to one offensive play in the third quarter. That play was an interception by Phillip Rivers. That's insane.
So looking ahead at next weekend, the Cardinals will host the Eagles. A lot of people may count the Cardinals out, but the game is in Glendale. The Falcons had problems with the crowd noise in the wild card round of the playoffs and their fans have experienced one home playoff game since the team moved to Arizona. These teams are going to be rabid. I would love to see the Cardinals go to the Super Bowl, but I think Philly gets it done and continues their hot streak.
If you like blood and professional wrestling, the AFC Championship is your kind of game. This game may end 6-3. Both teams hate each other. They hate each other so much that they put bounties on the opposing teams players. This game will be nothing short of a steel cage match to go to the Super Bowl. I picked Pittsburgh to win the Super Bowl when the playoffs started, and I'm still taking them. The Steelers get into the head of the Ravens and they will use it to their advantage at Heinz Field.
Friday, January 9, 2009
BS...I mean BCS recap
So, I'm sure that a lot of you tuned into the BS...BCS national championship game last night. For those of you not familiar with the BS...BCS championship system. I'll sum it up for you in one sentence. The computers go ring-a-ding-ding and we have two teams with one loss records playing for a national championship that 8 teams deserve.
Almost every year something goes awry with this god awful system. In 2004, there were four undefeated teams in college football (Utah, Auburn, Oklahoma, and USC). Of course, this would make perfect sense if this was for the WWE Championship, (Fatal Four Way anyone?) but in football, only two teams can play each other at the same time. Auburn and Utah were screwed and USC won the national championship.
After a year where the system actually worked, every year since has been marred with an undefeated team and a slew of one loss teams. Hell, this year Utah went 13-0 and beat Alabama in the Sugar Bowl. Yeah, Alabama who was the cat's ass for the majority of the college football season. The two teams in the BCS championship game both had one loss, but Utah was the only undefeated team in college football. Apparently, the Associated Press poll sort of agreed with me. Florida was chosen as the national champion, but 16 first place votes went to Utah.
The TV executives and college presidents have their heads so far up their ass on this issue that they can't hear the millions of fans and the freakin' president-elect screaming for a playoff system. Of course they give arguments that make my head hurt.
"But Chris, every game is a playoff when it's like this."
FALSE! Texas beat Oklahoma on a neutral field. If this were truly a playoff, Oklahoma would be gone from memory. In this system, Oklahoma leap frogged Texas mainly because they lost earlier than Texas. That's another flaw in this system. If a team loses in week 1 to South Dakota State and then another team goes undefeated until the last week of the season where they lose in their conference's championship game, the team who lost to some cupcake gets rewarded while the team who lost to a legit team gets penalized.
"But Chris, these players are students too, they need to take their finals."
FALSE! Yes, they are students, but the main players on each team are probably the dumbest human beings on the face of the earth. Look at your high school class. I guarantee you that there was one kid in your class that if it weren't for football he would be completely worthless. Every time I see that Brian Urlacher commercial for Old Spice, I laugh hysterically. "MY NAME BRIAN URLACHER AND I PLAY THE FOOTBALL! URLACHER WEAR THE SWAGGER CAUSE HE GET MAKE FUN OF WHEN URLACHER LITTLE! WHO LAUGH NOW...URLACHER LAUGH NOW!" For every Myron Rolle (who is a Rhodes scholar) there's 300 Brian Urlachers. Watch national signing day this year and look at all the people that can barely speak English correctly.
So how do we fix this? Here's my proposal.
- Eliminate the conference championship games and have all teams play 12 games.
- Take the top 16 teams in the final BCS standings. Some people say this is too many, but in reality, it's about the top 13 percent of college teams.
- The high seed hosts the games up until the national championship. Then the national championship game is rotated along the four BCS bowls. This would ensure that all games mean something. Could you imagine the road to the national championship going through the Los Angeles Coliseum, or Between the Hedges, or even through TCF Bank Stadium???
- As teams are eliminated, the bowls can select their participants. For example, if Michigan loses in the first round of the tournament, the Capital One Bowl can call and invite them to their game.
- The winner of the national championship game, wins....um...self-explanitory.
This would be as big as March Madness. This would also help the struggling economy. There would be so many people pouring money into these host cities that it would have to do something positive. Unfortunately, those big wigs will keep talking about their millions of dollars in TV contracts and I don't believe we'll ever see anything of this magnitude. Until then, our best chance is to break out our copies of NCAA Football 2009 and play it out ourselves.
Almost every year something goes awry with this god awful system. In 2004, there were four undefeated teams in college football (Utah, Auburn, Oklahoma, and USC). Of course, this would make perfect sense if this was for the WWE Championship, (Fatal Four Way anyone?) but in football, only two teams can play each other at the same time. Auburn and Utah were screwed and USC won the national championship.
After a year where the system actually worked, every year since has been marred with an undefeated team and a slew of one loss teams. Hell, this year Utah went 13-0 and beat Alabama in the Sugar Bowl. Yeah, Alabama who was the cat's ass for the majority of the college football season. The two teams in the BCS championship game both had one loss, but Utah was the only undefeated team in college football. Apparently, the Associated Press poll sort of agreed with me. Florida was chosen as the national champion, but 16 first place votes went to Utah.
The TV executives and college presidents have their heads so far up their ass on this issue that they can't hear the millions of fans and the freakin' president-elect screaming for a playoff system. Of course they give arguments that make my head hurt.
"But Chris, every game is a playoff when it's like this."
FALSE! Texas beat Oklahoma on a neutral field. If this were truly a playoff, Oklahoma would be gone from memory. In this system, Oklahoma leap frogged Texas mainly because they lost earlier than Texas. That's another flaw in this system. If a team loses in week 1 to South Dakota State and then another team goes undefeated until the last week of the season where they lose in their conference's championship game, the team who lost to some cupcake gets rewarded while the team who lost to a legit team gets penalized.
"But Chris, these players are students too, they need to take their finals."
FALSE! Yes, they are students, but the main players on each team are probably the dumbest human beings on the face of the earth. Look at your high school class. I guarantee you that there was one kid in your class that if it weren't for football he would be completely worthless. Every time I see that Brian Urlacher commercial for Old Spice, I laugh hysterically. "MY NAME BRIAN URLACHER AND I PLAY THE FOOTBALL! URLACHER WEAR THE SWAGGER CAUSE HE GET MAKE FUN OF WHEN URLACHER LITTLE! WHO LAUGH NOW...URLACHER LAUGH NOW!" For every Myron Rolle (who is a Rhodes scholar) there's 300 Brian Urlachers. Watch national signing day this year and look at all the people that can barely speak English correctly.
So how do we fix this? Here's my proposal.
- Eliminate the conference championship games and have all teams play 12 games.
- Take the top 16 teams in the final BCS standings. Some people say this is too many, but in reality, it's about the top 13 percent of college teams.
- The high seed hosts the games up until the national championship. Then the national championship game is rotated along the four BCS bowls. This would ensure that all games mean something. Could you imagine the road to the national championship going through the Los Angeles Coliseum, or Between the Hedges, or even through TCF Bank Stadium???
- As teams are eliminated, the bowls can select their participants. For example, if Michigan loses in the first round of the tournament, the Capital One Bowl can call and invite them to their game.
- The winner of the national championship game, wins....um...self-explanitory.
This would be as big as March Madness. This would also help the struggling economy. There would be so many people pouring money into these host cities that it would have to do something positive. Unfortunately, those big wigs will keep talking about their millions of dollars in TV contracts and I don't believe we'll ever see anything of this magnitude. Until then, our best chance is to break out our copies of NCAA Football 2009 and play it out ourselves.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Backtracking...
"After all, Mr. Pohlad will enjoy his new stadium revenue when he's six feet under by 2010."
Um, oops. Carl Pohlad died probably just as I was putting the finishing touches on my blog post from yesterday. It may have even happened as I was finishing that sentence. To put it bluntly, I feel like the biggest asshole in the universe. There have been other times where I've felt I've deserved this honor, but this one maybe tops them all. So, I'm going to try and make up for it and take a look at his life.
Pohlad was 93 years old when he died of what I assume to be natural causes (He surely didn't flip his Corvette over on I-94). Pohlad owned the Twins for 25 years and oversaw two World Series champions in 1987 and 1991. When he bought the Twins in 1984 from Calvin Griffith, he prumably saved the Twins from moving to Tampa. From there he hired a young general manager named Andy McPhail who went and hired a young manager named Tom Kelly. From there the rest is history. Pohlad had a big say in all baseball decisions which sometimes was a good thing and it was a bad thing.
Pohlad and his family convinced Kirby Puckett to stay in Minnesota in 1992 when Boston served Puck a mega deal. Puckett stayed here and became arguably the most lovable Minnesota sports figure of all time.
Pohlad also threatened to move the team to North Carolina in the late 90's because he was losing money on the team. He then offered them up as a sacrificial lamb in Bud Selig's contraction plan. From there, I don't think the Twins had any problem making a profit because the Twins rose from the ashes to become a model franchise in sports today.
Pohlad was a quiet leader for this team, and maybe that was a good thing. I'm sure a lot of you are just like me when I say that Hank Steinbrenner is incredibly annoying. I'm pretty sure the guy has a secretary to write down his thoughts. One of them was on ESPN the other day when he said that "grape jelly on a peanut butter and jelly sandwich sucks!" We should probably be thankful that he was that quiet. He once returned a Rolls Royce because it gave him too much attention.
I guess the thing we can get from Pohlad's life story is that he enjoyed life. He never retired, he always went to the same restauraunt every morning for a light breakfast, and he lived to be 93 years old and was in good health for most of those 93 years. If we could all have lives like that, it would be wonderful. However, we never know what lies ahead so we have to take things one day at a time. It sounds cliche but life is way too short to worry about things. RIP Mr. Pohlad.
Um, oops. Carl Pohlad died probably just as I was putting the finishing touches on my blog post from yesterday. It may have even happened as I was finishing that sentence. To put it bluntly, I feel like the biggest asshole in the universe. There have been other times where I've felt I've deserved this honor, but this one maybe tops them all. So, I'm going to try and make up for it and take a look at his life.
Pohlad was 93 years old when he died of what I assume to be natural causes (He surely didn't flip his Corvette over on I-94). Pohlad owned the Twins for 25 years and oversaw two World Series champions in 1987 and 1991. When he bought the Twins in 1984 from Calvin Griffith, he prumably saved the Twins from moving to Tampa. From there he hired a young general manager named Andy McPhail who went and hired a young manager named Tom Kelly. From there the rest is history. Pohlad had a big say in all baseball decisions which sometimes was a good thing and it was a bad thing.
Pohlad and his family convinced Kirby Puckett to stay in Minnesota in 1992 when Boston served Puck a mega deal. Puckett stayed here and became arguably the most lovable Minnesota sports figure of all time.
Pohlad also threatened to move the team to North Carolina in the late 90's because he was losing money on the team. He then offered them up as a sacrificial lamb in Bud Selig's contraction plan. From there, I don't think the Twins had any problem making a profit because the Twins rose from the ashes to become a model franchise in sports today.
Pohlad was a quiet leader for this team, and maybe that was a good thing. I'm sure a lot of you are just like me when I say that Hank Steinbrenner is incredibly annoying. I'm pretty sure the guy has a secretary to write down his thoughts. One of them was on ESPN the other day when he said that "grape jelly on a peanut butter and jelly sandwich sucks!" We should probably be thankful that he was that quiet. He once returned a Rolls Royce because it gave him too much attention.
I guess the thing we can get from Pohlad's life story is that he enjoyed life. He never retired, he always went to the same restauraunt every morning for a light breakfast, and he lived to be 93 years old and was in good health for most of those 93 years. If we could all have lives like that, it would be wonderful. However, we never know what lies ahead so we have to take things one day at a time. It sounds cliche but life is way too short to worry about things. RIP Mr. Pohlad.
Monday, January 5, 2009
This is where I get my stereotypes from...
So I should apologize to the three people who read this blog because I haven't updated it in a while. See, right after winter break my crappy computer crapped out on me for the last time so I have to walk about 20 minutes to get to a computer. Thanks Dell. I will soon be getting a Mac and be much happier with my life. And now...
Today, I'm battling through my annual post-Viking season hangover. Sometimes I call this the "How the @#$% could they lose that game!" hangover, but not this year. As soon as the Eagles destroyed Dallas last week, I knew that the Vikings were in trouble. The Eagles blitz the piss out of every team they play. The Vikings were the worst team in the NFL against the blitz this season. Hmmm. So, although I drank some purple kool-aid before the game and was hopeful that the Vikings would pull one out of their ass, dissapointment still reigned supreme.
The Vikings added another chapter in unexplained losses and horrific plays on Sunday. They actually managed to add 2 plays to that list. The Asante Samuel pick six was attrocicous not only because it sucked the life out of the Dome, but it also came from a guy with a hip worse than that of Joe Paterno. Then, just when it looked like the vikings might pull one out of their ass. DAGGER! Brian Westbrook, who I can never understand why he's such a great running back year in and year out, bolts 76 yards on a little screen for a touchdown. Kevin Williams falls down. Antoine Winfield and Tyrell Johnson play out of postition and, poof, the Vikings go up in smoke again.
Let me rant about something here. If this were a Student Voice column, it would be called "Irate Vikings Fan Whines Again About Unexplained Losses" The relationship that the Vikings have between themselves and their fans is a lot like a trailer park or bad relationship. The guy (or in this case the Vikings) abuses the girl (in this case the fans) until she can no longer take it anymore. She threatens to leave and suddenly the guy gets on his knees and begs her to stay. Crying and saying that "You're the only one for me" and "I promise I'll treat you better" repeatedly, the girl flocks back to him. Either that or stabbing yourself in the face with a rusty knife. I'll let you decide.
I'm strongly convinced that no matter how hyped up the Vikings are, they will NEVER win anything. Just like any other Minnesota team. When they do win something (Look into the 1996 Gopher Basketball team) it will be taken away because we have cheated. If the Vikings even get remotely close to winning a Super Bowl, a giant asteroid will come and destroy the earth. It will NEVER happen. I look around at every sport I see right now and see mediocrity and I am sick of it!
The Minnesota Wild were going to trade Marian Gaborik. Apparently, Mr. Reisbrough took a page out of the Twins book and refused to take a good deal when he sees one. Kovalchuk and Armstrong for Gaborik and Johnsson isn't good enough huh? NO! We don't want to part with Kim Johnsson and his three goals a year. Wasn't he supposed to be an offensive defenseman? It was only a matter of time before Gaborik needed some sort of surgery. I heard this was experimental surgery to have his balls removed but then I thought that theory is proposterous. Think about it. Gaborik didn't have any balls in the first place! Now, the Wild are struggling to score goals once again. GO FIGURE!!!
Speaking of kick-ass offense, there's the Minnesota Twins. We love mediocrity. We can hang all the AL Central championship banners we want but we don't want a World Series banner or a pennant. Championships cost too much money. After all, Mr. Pohlad will enjoy his new stadium revenues when he's six feet under by 2010. The Twins refuse to spend money. The Twins gigantic free agent signing so far has been Nick Punto and R.A. F'ing Dickey! The Twins could have dealt for Mark DeRosa, but instead, they watched him go to the division rival Cleveland Indians for a lap dance from a Tuesday afternoon stripper, a bag of Fritos, a ham sandwich, and the dealbreaker was a Diet Coke. The Cubs offered regular coach, but Bill Smith had to watch his weight. The Twins aren't even making the bad signings this offseason. You know what I'm talking about, the Mike Lamb/Adam Everett signings. Ugh.
Then there's the Wolves...
The Gophers might have hope because Tubby Smith is the Chuck Norris of basketball. All must bow down before the college basketball god! The Gophers cracked 19th in the coaches poll and 22nd in the AP poll this afternoon.
So, how will the Vikings lure me back next year. Last year, they enticed me with the anti-Twins approach. Get everything and get it now. Madieu Williams, Bernard Berrian, and Thomas Tapeh were all brought in. All but Tapeh performed admirably for the Vikings this year. Then came the big splash to get Jared Allen. 16 1/2 sacks later, the Vikings had a division championship. Not bad, but here's what I want done.
1) New Quarterback
I ranted and raved about T-Jack's performance after the Arizona and Atlanta games. But since then, it looks like he's learned nothing about how to handle a blitz. We need a new quarterback ASAP. I'm not sure what pick the Vikings will own, but they should try and get either Stafford or Bradford or another top ranked quarterback EXCEPT TIM TEBOW! I'm not even sure about the free agent options but Matt Cassel does not appeal to me at this point in time. Cassel looks like he's going to be franchised by the Patriots. That didn't stop the Vikings from acquiring Jared Allen, but Cassel isn't worth it. The only reason that Cassel is good right now is because he spent three years in the Patriot system. Give most QB's that much time to learn a system and they'll play well when they get their chance. (Aaron Rodgers) T-Jack isn't the answer. Get someone who can make a read please.
2) Fix the right side of the offensive line
Anthony Herrera and Ryan Cook both suck. As does Artis Hicks. We need some depth along the offensive line in a hurry. While taking an offensive lineman might not be a sexy pick, this draft is loaded with them. Mix in the fact that Matt Birk could be leaving as a free agent and we have a problem.
3) Get a cornerback to play aside Antoine Winfield
This could be wishful thinking, but the Vikings could use another solid cornerback to take our pass defense to the next level. The secondary will already lose Darren Sharper to free agency, but they also have Tyrell Johnson to replace him. If the Vikings get another corner, our defense could be downright scary come September.
Honorable Mention: Get another wide receiver (or a healthy Sidney Rice) and get a new coach.
Despite how much I rant and rave about the Vikings, I will do what I always do in July. That's head down to Mankato, watch them practice, maybe pick up an autograph or two, plop on the couch for the first preseason game in August, and pray that 2009 is the year the Vikings win their first Super Bowl.
Today, I'm battling through my annual post-Viking season hangover. Sometimes I call this the "How the @#$% could they lose that game!" hangover, but not this year. As soon as the Eagles destroyed Dallas last week, I knew that the Vikings were in trouble. The Eagles blitz the piss out of every team they play. The Vikings were the worst team in the NFL against the blitz this season. Hmmm. So, although I drank some purple kool-aid before the game and was hopeful that the Vikings would pull one out of their ass, dissapointment still reigned supreme.
The Vikings added another chapter in unexplained losses and horrific plays on Sunday. They actually managed to add 2 plays to that list. The Asante Samuel pick six was attrocicous not only because it sucked the life out of the Dome, but it also came from a guy with a hip worse than that of Joe Paterno. Then, just when it looked like the vikings might pull one out of their ass. DAGGER! Brian Westbrook, who I can never understand why he's such a great running back year in and year out, bolts 76 yards on a little screen for a touchdown. Kevin Williams falls down. Antoine Winfield and Tyrell Johnson play out of postition and, poof, the Vikings go up in smoke again.
Let me rant about something here. If this were a Student Voice column, it would be called "Irate Vikings Fan Whines Again About Unexplained Losses" The relationship that the Vikings have between themselves and their fans is a lot like a trailer park or bad relationship. The guy (or in this case the Vikings) abuses the girl (in this case the fans) until she can no longer take it anymore. She threatens to leave and suddenly the guy gets on his knees and begs her to stay. Crying and saying that "You're the only one for me" and "I promise I'll treat you better" repeatedly, the girl flocks back to him. Either that or stabbing yourself in the face with a rusty knife. I'll let you decide.
I'm strongly convinced that no matter how hyped up the Vikings are, they will NEVER win anything. Just like any other Minnesota team. When they do win something (Look into the 1996 Gopher Basketball team) it will be taken away because we have cheated. If the Vikings even get remotely close to winning a Super Bowl, a giant asteroid will come and destroy the earth. It will NEVER happen. I look around at every sport I see right now and see mediocrity and I am sick of it!
The Minnesota Wild were going to trade Marian Gaborik. Apparently, Mr. Reisbrough took a page out of the Twins book and refused to take a good deal when he sees one. Kovalchuk and Armstrong for Gaborik and Johnsson isn't good enough huh? NO! We don't want to part with Kim Johnsson and his three goals a year. Wasn't he supposed to be an offensive defenseman? It was only a matter of time before Gaborik needed some sort of surgery. I heard this was experimental surgery to have his balls removed but then I thought that theory is proposterous. Think about it. Gaborik didn't have any balls in the first place! Now, the Wild are struggling to score goals once again. GO FIGURE!!!
Speaking of kick-ass offense, there's the Minnesota Twins. We love mediocrity. We can hang all the AL Central championship banners we want but we don't want a World Series banner or a pennant. Championships cost too much money. After all, Mr. Pohlad will enjoy his new stadium revenues when he's six feet under by 2010. The Twins refuse to spend money. The Twins gigantic free agent signing so far has been Nick Punto and R.A. F'ing Dickey! The Twins could have dealt for Mark DeRosa, but instead, they watched him go to the division rival Cleveland Indians for a lap dance from a Tuesday afternoon stripper, a bag of Fritos, a ham sandwich, and the dealbreaker was a Diet Coke. The Cubs offered regular coach, but Bill Smith had to watch his weight. The Twins aren't even making the bad signings this offseason. You know what I'm talking about, the Mike Lamb/Adam Everett signings. Ugh.
Then there's the Wolves...
The Gophers might have hope because Tubby Smith is the Chuck Norris of basketball. All must bow down before the college basketball god! The Gophers cracked 19th in the coaches poll and 22nd in the AP poll this afternoon.
So, how will the Vikings lure me back next year. Last year, they enticed me with the anti-Twins approach. Get everything and get it now. Madieu Williams, Bernard Berrian, and Thomas Tapeh were all brought in. All but Tapeh performed admirably for the Vikings this year. Then came the big splash to get Jared Allen. 16 1/2 sacks later, the Vikings had a division championship. Not bad, but here's what I want done.
1) New Quarterback
I ranted and raved about T-Jack's performance after the Arizona and Atlanta games. But since then, it looks like he's learned nothing about how to handle a blitz. We need a new quarterback ASAP. I'm not sure what pick the Vikings will own, but they should try and get either Stafford or Bradford or another top ranked quarterback EXCEPT TIM TEBOW! I'm not even sure about the free agent options but Matt Cassel does not appeal to me at this point in time. Cassel looks like he's going to be franchised by the Patriots. That didn't stop the Vikings from acquiring Jared Allen, but Cassel isn't worth it. The only reason that Cassel is good right now is because he spent three years in the Patriot system. Give most QB's that much time to learn a system and they'll play well when they get their chance. (Aaron Rodgers) T-Jack isn't the answer. Get someone who can make a read please.
2) Fix the right side of the offensive line
Anthony Herrera and Ryan Cook both suck. As does Artis Hicks. We need some depth along the offensive line in a hurry. While taking an offensive lineman might not be a sexy pick, this draft is loaded with them. Mix in the fact that Matt Birk could be leaving as a free agent and we have a problem.
3) Get a cornerback to play aside Antoine Winfield
This could be wishful thinking, but the Vikings could use another solid cornerback to take our pass defense to the next level. The secondary will already lose Darren Sharper to free agency, but they also have Tyrell Johnson to replace him. If the Vikings get another corner, our defense could be downright scary come September.
Honorable Mention: Get another wide receiver (or a healthy Sidney Rice) and get a new coach.
Despite how much I rant and rave about the Vikings, I will do what I always do in July. That's head down to Mankato, watch them practice, maybe pick up an autograph or two, plop on the couch for the first preseason game in August, and pray that 2009 is the year the Vikings win their first Super Bowl.
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