The No Bowl

There seems to be a dying breed in professional sports. Back in the 1960's, All-Star games were simply awesome. You could seriously watch any of them and know that the best of the best were playing in them. In the baseball all-star game, pitchers would have to face 4 to 5 potential hall of famers down. If they did it successfully, they became legends...well for about 20 minutes. The basketball all-star game has given sports fans great moments as well, such as Michael Jordan against a 19 year old Kobe Bryant in 1999. If you're a hockey fan, you remember Owen Nolan going on a breakaway, calling his shot, and shooting to that corner and scoring his third goal of the game. All-Star games were great. Yeah, I said were...

The problem is now that the all-star games have been ruined by competition. For example, the NBA all-star weekend has devolved into a no-defense scorefest. I'll talk about that once the game is closer, but as bad as all-star games have gotten, nothing has compared to the pro bowl.

I remember last year calling my mom and telling her that Adrian Peterson won the MVP award for the Pro Bowl. My mom replied with the answer that is now resonating throughout the nation: "Who cares?" The magic simply isn't there. There's also no incentive for the players to play this game. Sure, the winners and losers all get bonuses to play in the Pro Bowl, but nobody really cares if they win or lose. The bonuses are more like chump change compared to their actuall mega-deal contracts. Think of how brutal professional football is. How do they try to convince these guys to play one more game?

"Congratulations, Brett Favre! You've been selected to be a quarterback for the National Football Conference in the 2010 Pro Bowl! We know you've been going through a lot of physical and mental pain, but what's one more game? We'll pay you half of your normal game salary, and don't worry nobody will get hurt! Well, that is if you're not Brian Moorman..."

As a matter of fact, that's the only memorable moment that I can remember from the Pro Bowl...EVER!!! Well, that's not true. I remember hearing about Marvin Harrison putting some poor kid in a chokehold after asking for his autograph. Maybe it was something like this. And that wasn't even on TV!

The Pro Bowl is a joke. Players get out of the Pro Bowl faster than they do baby mama drama. It's like having sexual relations with Hillary Clinton, nobody wants any part of it. However, NFL Commisioner Harvey Dent...I mean Roger Goodell decided that the Pro Bowl should be moved to the week before the Super Bowl. Hey, why have a zit on your butt when you can have it on your forehead? Now what was the NFL's worst kept secret is now in the mainstream, Goodell got what he wanted. However, people like myself are bashing the Pro Bowl to no end.

Take this into consideration. The players on what are the two best teams in the NFL (sorry Vikings) are not taking part. That's a total of 14 players. (Sidenote: These 14 players are required to show up or risk losing their Pro Bowl bonuses. So now the game is so bad that the NFL is FORCING people to watch it.) Throw in that 5 of the 10 players that were selected on the Minnesota Vikings bowed out of the Pro Bowl this week. So just from that the NFL needed to select 19 replacement players for the game that's being billed as the "best of the best." Puke.

One of these replacements was Jacksonville Jaguars quarterback David Garrard, who will be starting for the AFC. If you're thinking that David Garrard must have had a pretty modest year, you're right. Garrard had 15 touchdowns and 10 interceptions in 2009. That just screams Pro Bowler. That's just one replacement. I don't know the exact numbers as far as number of replacements, but when they NFL has to go for their 10th choice, it's not an "All-Star". Also consider that another quarterback on the roster is Vince Young. Young spent the first 6 games of the season on the bench for the Tennessee Titans.

Have you ever seen that episode in The Office where Dwight is put in charge to make a healthcare plan and all the sudden the rest of the office is asking for made up diseases to be covered such as "Dental Hyperplosion: the liquification of your teeth to the point where they drip down your throat?" It seems to me that the NFL is getting the same type of diseases as excuses to skip the Pro Bowl. I'm seriously looking forward to seeing the ratings for this game and laughing Monday morning. The game was moved to the mainland for more exposure. Well, Mr. Goodell, you have your wish!

The Loaded Gun, The O-Dawg, and More

This just in: Bill Smith is still alive. It has been rumored that Good Ol' B.S. had been pulling a Weekend At Bernie's stunt and having two Pohlads move his lifeless corpse around the new Twins headquarters at Target Field for the past three months. I am glad to say that Bill Smith is alive and well. How do I know this? The Minnesota Twins have finally made a move. The Loaded Gun has landed in Minneapolis.

Twins fans, meet Jim Thome. Well, actually you should already be aware of Mr. Thome right now. Thome was one of the all-time leaders in home runs at the Metrodome...I mean Mall Of America Field...sigh. Thome signed with the Twins to become their sawed-off shotgun in late game situations. I find this to be very good news. I can't begin to tell you how many times I wanted to drive my car the wrong way down I-94 after seeing Brian Buscher pinch hit for Nick Punto in late game situations. Signing Thome gives the Twins an actual threat late in games.

Yes, Thome strikes out a lot (He K'd 123 times in 124 games last season), but he also walks a lot. Thome has a career on base percentage of .404. By comparison, the Twins loaded gun last year, Busch Man, has a career on base percentage of .343. The OPS is also astronomically higher as Thome has a .961 OPS and Buscher has a .699. Even at 39 years old, Thome still was able to crank 23 home runs last year. Buscher has 8...in his career. Thome also came on the cheap, as he signed for 1.5 million.

The Thome pinch hit experiment was tried in Los Angeles last season and Thome didn't fare well. However, Thome was also in an unfamiliar division. Thome said in a conference call earlier this week that it contributed in his struggles. Being back in the AL Central means that Thome knows more of the teams and, even better, their relievers. Thome is not going to play every day in Minnesota and unlike a certain hockey player that the Wild just cut loose (Petr Sykora), Thome is willing to step into that pinch hitting mode.

Now that the bench is addressed, and we know that Bill Smith is alive. What do the Twins do now? It's most likely that they'll stay pat. However, like a 10 year old who really wants that PS3 for Christmas and knows he's not going to get it, we're still going to ask for it just in case. So what else could the Twins do.

They could address the starting pitching. The current rotation for the Twins looks like this...

1. Scott Baker (15-9 4.36 ERA in 2009)

2. Nick Blackburn (11-11 4.03)

3. Carl Pavano (14-12 5.10)

4. Kevin Slowey (10-3 4.86)

5. Jeff Manship (1-1 5.68) OR Francisco Liriano (5-13 5.80) OR Glen Perkins (6-7 5.89) OR Anthony Swarzak (3-7 6.25)

As you can tell, the 5th spot is still up for grabs. Many people think that the Thome signing was a waste of money because of the lack of solidarity in the rotation. I would kind of agree that the rotation is something the Twins still need to fix. Francisco Liriano is supposedly lights out in winter ball, but winter ball isn't the majors. I also doubt that Perkins will still be on the Twins past spring training, so the Twins need to look for an option. There's just one problem. The Twins have waited so long that they only have two viable options.

The first one is Jarrod Washburn. Many people thought that it would be a slam dunk to get Washburn in a Twins jersey. Washburn is from Webster, Wisconsin and has always had an admiration for the Twins. While the Twins want Washburn, they're just not willing to pay that much for him. The Twins offered Washburn a 1 year deal worth 5 million. Washburn (9-9 3.78 ERA in '09 between Seattle and Detroit), scoffed at the Twins offer and the Twins haven't made an offer since. Part of this may be because of the splits for Washburn between Seattle and Detroit. Washburn was 8-6 with a 2.64 ERA with Seattle, but then fizzled in Detroit with a 1-3 record and a 7.33 ERA. The Twins must be wondering which pitcher they are getting should they sign him.

The other option for starters is Erik Bedard. Bedard was considered one of the brightest young aces in baseball a couple seasons ago right before he was traded for Seattle for a budding superstar in Adam Jones. Bedard had to have his elbow scoped once again, so if the Twins are bargain shopping, this may be worth a look. Bedard was 5-3 with a 2.82 ERA for Seattle last season and it may be a similar situation with Ben Sheets.

Sheets obviously put up good numbers with Milwaukee two years ago, but he was coming off of elbow surgery. I thought that Sheets would have been a great fit for the Twins if the price was right. Enter Scott Boras! Sheets signed a 1 year, 10 million deal earlier this week. Way out of the Twins price range. Bedard is also a Boras client, but if the Twins wait long enough, they may be able to get Bedard to sign the 1 year, 5 million deal that Washburn is rejecting.

The other area that the Twins are looking to improve upon is 2nd base. I think the Twins have conceded that they will not get a quality 3rd baseman to be a stop gap for Danny Valencia, unless if they sign Joe Crede, who might play 20 games this year if the Twins are lucky. Anyways, at 2nd base, there are two moves the Twins can make if they want to upgrade over Nick Punto or Alexi Casilla.

The first option is Orlando Hudson. The Twins have been rumored to have been courting the "O-Dawg" over the past week. The Twins also wanted Hudson last year when he was a type A free agent. Hudson, like Washburn, scoffed at the Twins offer and waited for a better deal. What happened is that Hudson wound up producing twice as much stats as Nick Punto, but getting paid half of what Punto made. The Twins could use Hudson as the two hitter in front of Joe Mauer. (.283, 9 HR, 62 RBI last season for LAD) Also the Twins wouldn't be losing anything defensively as Hudson won a gold glove last season.

The second option is "O-Dawg Light", Felipe Lopez. (.310, 9, 57 for Arizona and Milwaukee last season) Lopez is three years younger and the Twins might be able to sign him for the same price. Like Hudson, he can fit in the two hole ahead of Joe Mauer. The defense may not be as good as Hudson, but the Twins would be getting the same type of player: a catalyst at the top of the lineup that can get on base for Mauer and Justin Morneau.

Problem is that this will only happen if Ron Gardenhire gets over his man crush on Nick Punto. I'm pretty sure Punto has some naked pictures of Gardy and is blackmailing over playing time. Greg Oden eat your heart out!

Finally, the other move that the Twins might consider making is signing Joe Mauer to a long term contract. Time for a captain obvious sighting...THIS MUST GET DONE!!!! The Twins are dodging every possible question about this, and I hope they aren't doing the same with contract negotiations. The sooner this extension gets done, the better off the Twins will be. Should Mauer hit the open market, the Twins will get into a bidding war with the Yankees, Mets, and Red Sox. At that point, Mauer might be as good as gone.

Mauer, of course, also means a ton to the community. Rick Reilly came to St. Paul last night to do a taping of his "Homecoming" series in which he takes an athlete back to their hometowns and interviews them in front of their adoring hometown fans. 3,500 people showed up to an interview. I'll rephrase that, 3,500 people came to see a conversation between two people. Yeah, that Mauer guy is pretty popular. Should he leave, the Twins fan base may go down the drain.

However, for all the doom and gloom that's outside, including the 4 degree temperature, there is hope knowing that baseball is on the way. Soon the warmth and hope of another season will capture our hearts and we'll be seeing the mystery that is Target Field.

Time For A Realistic Plan B?

As many of you now may know, the drunk trailer park boyfriend Minnesota Vikings just smoked the trailer park girlfriend out of their fans on Sunday by losing in horrific fashion to the New Orleans Saints. Like always, we'll come crawling back to the Vikings after they beg for forgiveness and tell us that it will be different next time. So, we might as well address what will happen to the Vikings next season.

Unlike another Minnesota professional sports team, the Vikings are willing to make moves to make their team better in the offseason. Of course, the biggest question mark of the upcoming offseason is whether or not Brett Favre will return for a 21st season in the NFL.

After the game, Favre was nearly in tears talking about how he failed to get to his 3rd Super Bowl. He was a beaten, broken down, old man who just destroyed his ankle and probably every body part within a 60 minute time frame. Now the fun begins, especially for Packer fans, as the will he or won't he drama begins for Viking fans. The truth is the Vikings won't get a clear answer from Favre until August again. There are three options the Vikings can take in this situation.

The first option for the Vikings is to simply try to enter the season with Tarvaris Jackson and Sage Rosenfels battling out for the starting quarterback position. This option would be the least popular, but it may be what the Vikings have to do. In this situation, it wouldn't be a bad thing for Favre to come back. If Favre came bcak in mid-August again, I'm sure Brad Childress would have no problem stepping on Sage and T-Jack's dreams once again, and we're back in the fast lane for a Super Bowl appearance.

The second option would be to draft a quarterback. The problem with this theory is that the Vikings will be drafting towards the end of the first round in a class that doesn't have an elite quarterback prospect. The two top prospects are currently Sam Bradford (Oklahoma) and Jimmy Claussen (Notre Dame), two QB's that I find incredibly overrated. If the Vikings do go this route, they'll probably take Colt McCoy (Texas), Tony Pike (Cincinnati), or Dan Lefevour (Central Michigan). This route would also wouldn't be problematic should Favre decide to come back in August. This way, the new QB could learn a year under Brett Favre, which wouldn't be a bad thing by any means. However, looking into the future, it may take several years after Favre's departure to become a Super Bowl contender.

The third option is the most desperate, but the one that I'm most in favor of should Favre retire. Bring in Donovan McNabb. This makes sense on so many levels. McNabb was Childress' prize student in Philadelphia when he was the offensive coordinator there. McNabb knows the offense and is considered a legit quarterback, something the Vikings wouldn't have on their roster should Favre hang up the cleats. On the Eagles side, the performance by Eagles QB Kevin Kolb, who was considered to be McNabb's heir apparent, replaced McNabb after he broke a couple of ribs in the season opener at Carolina and played quite well. The rumors are flying that the Eagles want to clear the way for Kolb, and a McNabb trade to Minnesota may be the way to do that.

The question may be how much do the Eagles want for McNabb. Would they go the Matt Schaub route and demand a first and a third? Or would they go the Daunte Culpepper route and take anything just to get rid of the guy? That would also be an important factor, but when you look at the team, there isn't much that the Vikings need via the draft. To quote Favre, "The pieces are in place." (Although the Vikings could use a safety and corner help but regardless...)

The one problem with this idea is that it's a massive gamble. If the Vikings go get McNabb, what if Favre gets that itch to play again in August? Would there be the greatest QB controversy of all time? Or would Childress go ahead and create some kind of crazy 2 QB formation so that he could use both QB's at once? When Favre came to Minnesota, there were reports of a schism. Those didn't come to be true, but in this scenario I could see a civil war as to who the team wanted as the quarterback of the team.

So, into the offseason and the dark the Vikings go. Their fans are still thirsty for a Super Bowl appearance after a 34 year absence and hopefully, the Vikings can make the right moves and end that drought next year.

Back to The Future?

My first memorable encounter with the Minnesota Vikings came during the entire 1998 season. The Vikings were good. I don't need to tell you everything about it, but they had a lot of talented playmakers such as Cris Carter, Randy Moss, and Randall Cunningham. It seemed like the Vikings were destined to go to the Super Bowl and then came the Atlanta Falcons. We all know what happened from there.

What's crazy about that season is that as Viking fans look towards the NFC Championship game next Sunday against the New Orleans Saints, it's interesting to see the similarities between the 2009 season and the 1998 season. Consider the following.

In 1998, there were two teams that seemed to be destined to go to the Super Bowl which was played in Miami. Those two teams were the Denver Broncos and the Vikings. However in the NFC, there was a 14-2 Atlanta Falcons team that received little respect from the national media because of how good those two teams were. The Falcons would be the team to throw the monkey wrench in the supposed track of destiny.

In 2009, there are two teams that seemed destined for the Super Bowl which is being played in Miami. Those teams are the Indianapolis Colts and the New Orleans Saints. However, in the NFC there is a team who has gotten more media coverage than the '98 Falcons did, but because of how good those two teams are. So could the Vikings be the 2009 version of the '98 Falcons?

The '98 Falcons had a veteran quarterback that was in the middle of a throwback year. Chris Chandler had some bad seasons, but he probably had his best season in 1998. The '09 Vikings have a veteran quarterback who is having a throwback year of his own, and he probably is having his best season in 2009.

The '98 Falcons had to go on the road in the NFC Championship in a venue where the opponents have had a difficult time of even coming close to winning. In '09 the Vikings will go on the road to play in the NFC Championship in a venue which is being billed as the loudest in the NFL. (NOTE: The '98 Vikings were 9-0 at home. The '09 Saints are 7-2.)

When you look at the details, the other teams involved in the playoffs have similar characteristics.

In 1998, the Denver Broncos were looking to win their 2nd Super Bowl victory in franchise history. They were lead by a Hall Of Fame quarterback in John Elway. In 2009, the Indianapolis Colts are looking for their 2nd Super Bowl victory in franchise history. They are lead by future Hall Of Fame quarterback Peyton Manning.

In 1998, the Denver Broncos hosted the New York Jets in the AFC Championship Game. In 2009, the Indianapolis Colts will host the New York Jets in the AFC Championship Game. The Jets will be making their first AFC Championship appearance since...you guessed it...1998.

Finally, the '98 Minnesota Vikings had a defense that would give up points from time to time, but they relied on turnovers. The defensive leader was a cornerback by the name of Jimmy Hitchcock. Hitchcock would have 8 interceptions that he would get mostly by jumping routes. In the '98 NFC Championship game, Hitchcock tried to jump a route late in the game. Had he gotten the interception, the game would have been over. Instead, Chandler pump faked and found a wide open receiver in the back of the endzone to tie the game, and the Falcons eventually won in overtime.

The '09 Saints have a defense that gives up points from time to time, but they rely on turnovers. The defensive leader is a safety by the name of Darren Sharper. Sharper has 9 interceptions that he gets by mostly jumping routes. As for the future...who knows?

Just looking back at the one year that is still the thorn in the Vikings side, it's pretty eerie to see all of the similarities. If the Vikings could pull off an upset in the Superdome, it would get even weirder.

How Bout Them Cowboys? What About Them Cowboys?

I remember being a fourth grader at Harriet Bishop Elementary School. I was a quiet guy believe it or not in my tenure there. (Well, that is if I wasn't fighting or getting beat by a girl in physical education class, but that's another story.) However, I was very loud in my passion for sports. That year it was Super Bowl XXX where the Dallas Cowboys took on the Pittsburgh Steelers. I had heard that the Cowboys were bad asses, going as far as renting a house as a playground for strippers and cocaine (who needs Las Vegas?). Because of my very moral parents, I cheered for the Pittsburgh Steelers. In an early glimpse of the power of Crishadinization, the Cowboys stomped the Steelers 27-17.

The funny part was after this victory, it meant three Cowboy Super Bowls in the 90's and I'm sure that most of you know that if you were a fan of a team, you HAD to have their Starter jacket. (I owned 2 in my time. The Orlando Magic and the Minnesota Timberwolves.) Surely enough, the Cowboy Starter jacket made its way into the southeastern Minnesota winter fashion landscape. Having a Cowboy Starter jacket also sequentially labeled you as a complete asshole. I don't think I ever saw a kid in that jacket who played nice with everyone. They wanted to bully and fight everyone, including the playground supervisors. Dallas was bad ass.

Flash forward to today. Apparently, Dallas is still bad ass. Why is this? Because as the Minnesota Vikings prepare to face off with the Dallas Cowboys this Sunday, the Cowboys are seriously unstoppable...according to ESPN and every other media outlet not in the Twin Cities. I don't even know why the Vikings should show up on Sunday to be honest. The Dallas offense is bad ass. The Dallas defense is bad ass. DeMarcus Ware is going to eat Brett Favre and then Tony Romo is going to @#$% his wife. I just hope they can hang with them for a quarter.

The truth is that Dallas is another media machine created by the dollars of their owner and ESPN. Because Dallas makes the NFL the most money, they get the most airtime. I wouldn't be shocked if Jerry Jones is feeding cash to every ESPN analyst and telling them to talk more Cowboys. But I digress...

If you're on the fence and don't know who to cheer for in this one *COUGH*Packer Fans*COUGH*, let me help you out a bit. The Cowboys are arguably one of the most unlikeable teams in the NFL. I'll just go through my own personal reasons why to cheer against the Cowboys.

Tony Romo is an Idiot.

Many people are sitting there screaming, "Hey, I like Tony Romo." and true, he's a marketable guy. He's just like you and me supposedly. He helps grandma's cross the street. He sells Pepsi. He takes homeless people to movies. BUT, there is one thing that I will never understand about Tony Romo. For those of you not musically inclined, this is Tony Romo's ex-girlfriend Carrie Underwood. (Excuse me...WOW!!!) Now, he dumped that for his other ex...Jessica Simpson (aka the U.S.S. Simpson.) Sure there's the looks factor...WHICH IS OBVIOUS!!! Yet, there's also the intelligence factor. Yes, Ms. Simpson may just be playing to her former Newlyweds audience, but still why would you trade a Porche for a Minivan when you really don't have to. Not to mention, I never heard anything about Carrie jinxing the Cowboys. I'm just saying.

The Hail Mary Game

December 28th, 1975: The Minnesota Vikings earned the top seed in the NFC in 1975. The Wild Card round was non-existant at this point, so the Vikings faced the #4 seed, the Dallas Cowboys. The Vikings had control of the game and the Cowboys were down to their last breath. From midfield with 24 seconds left, Dallas QB Roger Staubach launched the ball into the air and it was caught by Drew Pearson for the game winning touchdown. (Here is a link to the play) Now, what I just told you was the Dallas description of the play. Now it's time for the Minnesota side of the play. You can't see it well in the video, but first of all there were THREE holding calls that were not called by the officials on Dallas. The play resumed, and Pearson then pushed off on the Viking defender before catching the football which is known is offensive pass interference. NOT CALLED!!! The Viking fans almost rioted as a fan hucked a Windsor bottle onto the field which smoked one of the referees in the face. I still believe that this day has made my life as a Viking fan incredibly difficult. Many refer to the 1975 Vikings as the best Viking team ever, but they didn't make the Super Bowl. Had the Vikings won, would they have been able to beat Pittsburgh? Who knows?

Jerry Jones

The man who will ruin professional football. To be honest, that stadium looks awesome. However, it's also set the standard for teams looking to build new stadiums, such as the Minnesota Vikings. This new stadium has fellow owners drooling over what they could have, like a kid in a candy store. Not every government has over a billion dollars lying around to build the Taj Mahal of football. (Actually, Minnesota did that first with the Metrodome. Oh yeah, Jerry! When the Dome opened, the Gopher coach at the time, Lou Holtz, declared that the Dome would be the Taj Mahal of college football. That's right, suck it!) Not only that, but Jerry Jones is going to destroy the CBA. Jones wants no salary cap so he can spend like his buddy George Stienbrenner. Should that happen, smaller franchises like the ones in Buffalo and GREEN BAY will die because they won't have the financial capabilities that larger franchises have. Should the NFL go on strike, and with Roger Goodell leading the charge they probably will, it will be Jerry Jones' fault.

I'm not stupid here, I have a sinking feeling about this game. In 1975, the Super Bowl was going to be played in Miami. In 2010, the Super Bowl will be played in Miami. We already owe a debt to the football Gods for a hail mary of our own. However, the closer this game gets, the more I want to beat the living hell out of the Cowboys.

2009 NFL Awards

Of course, these awards are not official. The only award that has been announced so far has been the defensive rookie of the year which was handed out to Brian Cushing of the Houston Texans. I agree with that pick over Jarius Byrd of Buffalo, mainly because there wasn't a rookie who made that big of an impact on defense in the NFL this season. Cushing was an animal for the Texans defense and it freed up Mario Williams and DeMeco Ryans to make more plays. This improved the defense and the Texans were an opening week victory against the Jets away from making their first postseason in franchise history.

Offensive Rookie of the Year - Percy Harvin (WR - MIN)

I think this comes down to Mark Sanchez of the Jets and Percy Harvin of the Vikings. The reason I think Harvin should win this award is because of Sanchez's numbers compared to Harvin. Granted, it's easier to be a rookie receiver than it is a quarterback in the NFL, but Sanchez finished the season with 12 touchdowns and 20 interceptions. I believe that the Jets making the playoffs had very little to do with Mark Sanchez, but rather, the strong running game (which was lead by Thomas Jones) and the Jets defense (which lead the league in points per game and yards per game). So, in Percy's case, Harvin racked up over 2,000 all-purpose yards this season, and he's getting a trip to Hawaii because of it. The Vikings offense is a lot different when Percy is in there. Take the game against Cincinatti for example. The Vikings had to rely on the ground game without Percy opening up the slot for Sidney Rice and Bernard Berrian. That's why I have to be a homer with this pick.

HONORABLE MENTION: Mark Sanchez (NYJ)

Coach of the Year - Jim Caldwell (IND)

This was a tough choice. I struggled between several coaches, but you have to go with the one with the best record this year. Caldwell went 14-0 with an above average team. He also gained control of the locker room after Tony Dungy retired. To gain the trust of Peyton Manning and Co. is huge, but you still have to find ways to win games, which the Colts did. Consider that the Colts trailed 9 times in the fourth quarter this season and they rallied to win 7 of those games. Some of that is thanks to Mr. Manning, but someone has to make the right decisions.

HONORABLE MENTIONS: Marvin Lewis (CIN), Rex Ryan (NYJ), Sean Payton (NOR)

Offensive Player of the Year - Chris Johnson (TEN)

A couple of years ago, I gave this guy the Al Davis award. This usually goes to the biggest athletic freak at the combine. I didn't expect Johnson to do anything in the NFL, mainly because of his alma mater, East Carolina. A swing and a miss! Johnson not only had a great rookie campaign, but this season, he hit the 2,000 yard mark. (2,006 rushing yards) and broke the single season yards from scrimmage record held by Marshall Faulk. Now, the rumor is he wants to race Usain Bolt. Wouldn't hurt his publicity. This guy is a star in the making, and he's most likely the #1 pick in most fantasy football leagues next season.

HONORABLE MENTIONS: Brett Favre (MIN), Drew Brees (NOR), Peyton Manning (IND)

Defensive Player of the Year - Charles Woodson (GB)

Yup, I'll be fair here. I was thinking Jared Allen at the beginning of the year, but in the end, Woodson has just been better. He's what Percy Harvin is to the Vikings offense. He's a defensive playmaker. Just when it looked like the Packers were done when Al Harris and Aaron Kampman both blew their knees out vs. San Francisco, Woodson rallied the defense and the Packers have had one of the best passing defenses in the league (with the exception of the Pittsburgh game).

HONORABLE MENTIONS: Elvis Dummervil (DEN), Darren Sharper (NOR), Darrelle Revis (NYJ)

Most Valuable Player -

I have it between four candidates for the MVP. Chris Johnson, Brett Favre, Peyton Manning, and Drew Brees. By process of elimination, I take out Chris Johnson, not because the Titans didn't make the playoffs, but the Titans MVP in my eyes was Vince Young. The Titans went 0-6 with Kerry Collins under center, then Jeff Fisher made the switch to Young, who went 8-2. It wasn't like Johnson was hurt during those first 6 games, but teams were stacking the box against him. Young came in and was able to make downfield throws, opening the field up for Johnson. So Johnson is the first to go.

My next one is Drew Brees. This was tough, but the Saints, like the Colts, are an above average team. The Saints victories have come off of untimely interceptions, missed field goals, lightning striking the field, and black magic. Brees has had a great year, but not quite the 5,000 yard season he put together last year. The Saints recent struggles have cost him this award.

So that leaves Favre vs. Manning. Two guys looking for their fourth MVP awards. Favre has come in and solidified the one position the Vikings haven't solidified ever. The number of games that Favre has won over Tarvaris Jackson is in the 4-5 range I believe, and the Vikings are the 2 seed in the AFC. However, I have to give the award to Peyton Manning. There's just more talent on the Vikings than there is the Colts, and the Colts were able to win every game until they stopped trying. Peyton Manning should win the MVP, but hopefully Favre can win the only award that matters: The Super Bowl

The 2009 Idiots of The Year

Yes, it's that time you've been waiting for! The 2009 Idiot of The Year shall be revealed right now. Over the past couple of months, I've given a couple of nominees for the 2009 Idiot of the Year. And now...to announce the 2009 Idiot of The Year, here is your presenter...Chris Schad.

Thank you very much, Crishad! Every year, we meet a new and interesting person. Actually interesting isn't exactly what comes to mind. Have you ever met a person who you just wonder how they live with themselves every day? We're talking about people so stupid, you actually fear for their well being. These 5 nominees have pushed the envelope to the extreme...the nominees are...

Former ESPN analyst Steve Phillips!

(Phillips married a fat cow, and then cheated on her with another fat cow...TWICE!!! The second fat cow was an ESPN intern, therefore, Phillips ruined his promising career at ESPN where he constantly referred to the Mets, Yankees, Red Sox, and Cubs as "The Greatest Teams Ever")

Family Guy, American Dad, and The Cleveland Show creator Seth MacFarlane!

(Seth has successfully spread himself way too thin, but he still makes a ridiculous amount of money to turn out crap episode after crap episode. He's also become an arrogant P.O.S.!)

Washington Redskins owner Daniel Snyder

(Although Snyder has taken recent steps to improve the team, Snyder has run his team like a fantasy football team. Things may be changing, but they're about to hire former Denver Broncos head coach Mike Shanahan.)

And now, your 2009 Idiot of the Year award goes to....oh my...we have TWO winners! The 2009 co-Idiots of the Year are Minnesota Vikings head coach Brad Childress and Minnesota Golden Gopher Football Coach Tim Brewster! Now, I wrote to both of these award winners and they actually wrote back...so first, let's look at the words of Coach Brewster!

"Chris, I and the rest of the Gopher Nation accept this prestigious award. You know, I never really get choked up about awards, but to know that the fans think that I've run this program into the ground really makes my chili hot! I would like you and the fans to know that next year it will be different. I'm already on the recruiting trail and I would like to acquire a great offensive line. I'm envisioning ones that breathe fire and running backs that can fly across the field. Then maybe we can get one of them Avatar things to help run it! Thank you for your lack of support. GOPHER NATION ROSE BOWL ROSE BOWL!!! GOPHER NATION!!!"

Strong words from a guy who just lost to Iowa State for the first time since the 1800's! And now a statement from Brad Childress...

"Um.....uhhh.....Ummmmm....uhhhhhhhhh....Hmmmmm....Uhhhhhh.....WE MUST PUT THE PRECIOUS IN!!! BRETT FAVRE IS NOT THE PRECIOUS!!! TARVARIS JACKSON PRECIOUS!!! COME OUT OF GAME YOU MUST BRETT!!! PRRRRREEEEEECCCCCIOUUUUUUSSSSSS!!!"

Ok....so there you have it. Two men who prove that you don't have to be Bill Belichek to be a head football coach! G'night everyone!

Why I Love Professional Wrestling

(NOTE/FOREWORD: This column was originally published in the UW-River Falls Student Voice in March 2009. With the announcement of the return of Bret "The Hitman" Hart tonight on Monday Night Raw, I figured that I would clarify somethings to the general public once again.)

I’m going to make a bold declaration here. To understand where I’m at, you should know where I’ve been. When I was a little kid, I had a grandpa who taught me a lot of what I know today. One day, while he was watching me, he sat me down in front of a TV on a Sunday morning. I saw many people that I see as legends today. As I got older, I continued to rent these certain events when I went to the video store and continued to love them. I still watch many of these events today and are thoroughly entertained by them. So what am I talking about? I am a fan of professional wrestling and I don’t care what you think about it.

Usually, when I drop that bomb on anyone, they immediatly look at me in disgust and ask a series of questions. I like to think of it like an insanity test. Let me run you through it.

Don’t you know that wrestling is fake? Of course. As a matter of fact, I once heard a great quote in a news report about wrestling. It’s a soap opera for guys who don’t admit to watching soap operas. It’s supposed to be fake. It’s just like your favorite TV show. There are good guys and bad guys just like a soap opera. People anger people and where as in soap operas they don’t actually fight, wrestling takes that step that most soap operas won’t. Physical violence.

Also, even though it’s fake, some people can actually relate to some of the storylines, and I’m not just talking about beer swelling rednecks. Take the case of Stone Cold Steve Austin in the late 1990’s. Mr. Austin had a problem with his boss. So he took it out in a way that only professional wrestling would allow. By A) Chugging beer on the job and B) beating the living hell out of him. I would probably assume that most of you have had a conflict with your boss and probably wanted to bash them with a steel chair afterwards, but in the real world, it’s not smart to do that sort of thing. That’s the escape from reality that wrestling provides the average person.

You do know they’re just acting out there right? Let me tell you about my childhood hero. His name was The Rock. Maybe you’ve heard of The Rock. Actually, he changed his name to Duane Johnson and is now a B-list actor. This was because The Rock was really an actor from his work on the microphone. He was the man who could get millions...and millions of fans to scream his name at the drop of a hat. Wresters have to get people behind them and therefore they have to play a character, just like an actor. The Rock, for example was “The People’s Champ” and played his character so well, he actually became a movie star.

That was just a sample of some of the questions I get asked. Then, the conversation turns into one big giant attack towards me. “How can you watch wrestling? It’s so fake!” and “I used to like wrestling too, when I was in fifth grade!” are uttered in my direction, but then I relay the simple truth. It’s a TV show. Just like your favorite show, I enjoy it. It’s an escape from reality which is what most TV shows offer. After all, if you don’t like it, simply pick up your remote and change the channel. And that’s the bottom line, if you smell what Crishad is cookin’.

Some Housekeeping...

To all of those who have continued to check the blog over the past couple of weeks: Thanks. I've been really busy over the month of December with finals and the holiday seasons. Hopefully, all you college students did well on your finals and I hope that everyone had a safe and fun Christmas and New Years. Now, as far as business, I have some things to do. Over the next 24-48 hours I'll have posts on...

- My love for professional wrestling

- The Winners of the 2009 Idiot of the Year Award (Could be WINNERS)

- My NFL Award Picks

- My NFL Playoff Predictions

Yup, I have some typing to do! Keep checking the blog and you won't be disappointed!