Things That I Hate: Valentines Day

Let's jump into a time machine for a second. It's Valentines Day back when I was in first grade. I'm sure everyone did the same thing for Valentines Day back in elementary school. I would go with my parents and get the NFL quarterback club valentines and hand them out throughout the class and stuff candy in the envelopes. I'm pretty sure none of the girls in my class appreciated getting a Warren Moon valentine, but I digress. While all of these people happily munched on their candy, I turned over my bag and one valentine fell out. That would be the one I made for myself. Hey, I like candy too! Unfortunatly, one of my classmates would scream "THAT'S NOT FAIR!" and I would respond "Well, where is mine?" I guess she forgot about my name on the list. Figures.

Flash forward to 2010. Sunday will mark Valentines Day, the worst holiday in the history of holidays. For those of you who don't know, several Saints named Valentine died and now we have to buy chocolate, diamonds, and other special things for our loved ones. People go nuts over this and there is so much pressure. If you don't push the right button on Valentines Day, you might as well go straight to the doghouse.

It doesn't make sense to me on so many levels. Yes, I have never been in a relationship, but look at it this way. When you buy your loved one a Valentines Day gift, you're giving her a gift on a day where EVERYONE gets a gift. Why not surprise her? I mean, do something for Valentines Day, but I'm sure it means more if you randomly bought her flowers on April 4th or something. (For that paragraph, I would like to personally thank my relationship advisor Jenna Nelson, who hopefully doesn't mind being mentioned in this entry.)

Bottom line is this, what do singles have to do on Valentines Day? You may think that I'm going to save some cash by not buying a gift. WRONG! What will happen is that I will want to be in pain on Valentines Day, so I'll go out the night before and drink more than I can chew. After the liquor starts flowing, I'll start talking about how horrible Valentines Day, and I'll go to a girl. I'll start buying said girl shot after shot, probably equaling the total of the gift that you're giving your special someone. The one benefit to your situation is that you know you'll be going home with the person your giving your gift to. Me? Not so much.

Heck, I might as well polish of a couple Long Islands, back them up with some Bloody Marys and then get a table for one at a reasonable establishment and scream at random couples. Yup, I don't like February 14th that much. The only good thing about February 14th is that we are just 2 months away from National Crishad Appreciation Day!

So I hope that you and your special someone have a wonderful Valentines Day. I will be in as much pain as I would be watching the NBA All-Star game. Wait...THEY'RE ON THE SAME DAY??? @#$%!

Could This Be The Year?

Two Weeks Ago...

"WHERE THE HELL IS BILL SMITH? WHY HAVEN'T THE TWINS MADE ANY MOVES? I SWEAR HE IS JUST PULLING A WEEKEND AT BERNIES AND HAVING TERRY RYAN AND TOM KELLY HOLD HIM UP!!! UGH!!!"

Let's flash forward to today. One week ago, the Twins and their fans were giddy with excitement over the arrival of Jim Thome, a prolific home run hitter with 564 home runs in his career. This move sent out responses of "Holy @#$%!" throughout Twins territory as they finally made a move that would benefit the team.

The Twins made another shocking move last night as they signed 2B Orlando Hudson to a one year deal worth 5 million dollars. This move gives the Twins their first solid 2nd baseman since Chuck Knoblauch in the mid 90's.

Hudson gives the Twins instant credibility. Hudson has the bat to provide an upgrade over Nick Punto and Alexi Casila. Hudson is a four time gold glove winner. I know Punto can make an occasional spectacular play, but Hudson is more solid and he never takes a play off in the field.

However, the most obvious upgrade is at the plate. If you take a look at the numbers here is the tale of the tape...

Orlando Hudson .283 9 HR 62 RBI

Nick Punto .228 1 HR 38 RBI

Alexi Casilla .202 0 HR 17 RBI

Of course these numbers are a little bit skewed because Punto hit 9th and Casilla didn't play much after April, but Hudson's numbers still make the lineup very fearsome. Observe...

1. CF Denard Span (.311 8 HR 68 RBI)

2. 2B Orlando Hudson (.283 9 HR 62 RBI)

3. C Joe Mauer (.365 28 HR 96 RBI)

4. 1B Justin Morneau (.274 30 HR 100 RBI)

5. RF Michael Cuddyer (.276 32 HR 94 RBI)

6. DH Jason Kubel (.300 28 HR 103 RBI)

7. SS J.J. Hardy (.229 11 HR 47 RBI)

8. LF Delmon Young (.284 12 HR 60 RBI)

9. 3B Brendan Harris (.261 6 HR 37 RBI)

Oh yeah, and Jim Thome is on the bench. This lineup is insane. I don't think I've ever seen the Twins put this kind of product on the field since their revival in 2002. This could be the first time that the bottom of the lineup doesn't shock us and we scream "TOLBERT GOT A HIT!" Also, there are so many players that have great potential to improve on their numbers. Hardy, Young, Hudson, and maybe even Harris may improve on their numbers to make it even better. I also think that the Twins will call up 3rd base prospect Danny Valencia will be called up in June or July and even he has some pop. Yeah, the homer dome is gone, but they say that Target Field is going to be a lot like Wrigley Field...if it was renovated, of course. If that's true, all these numbers could improve by just three words: wind blowing out! Just how far will Justin Morneau hit a baseball this year? Do you think he could seriously hit the Target Center?

The only weakness right now is pitching, but as we saw in the last post about the Twins, it could work out. Especially if the Twins sign Jarrod Washburn, whom the Twins have leverage against after Erik Bedard wound up going back to the Mariners (another AL Team to beat btw). Should Washburn sign, they may throw Francisco Liriano in the pen, who could be a dominant set up man because he could throw as hard as he could for an inning and throw his slider repeatedly, which supposedly is back to his 2006 form when he went 12-3.

All of this is exciting. Of course, there's one more big fish to fry in a Mauer contract extension, but when you match the Twins up to most teams in the American League, the Twins could have a year to remember.