It's a day in late July and Aaron Rodgers is standing in the middle of the ring. He's looking around with a sheepish grin on his face. For months, there have been rumors that his arch nemesis, Brett Favre would return to destroy him after he destroyed the memory of Brett Favre in the state of Wisconsin after years of living in his shadow...
Aaron Rodgers: Look at all of you. All of you simply amuse me. All everyone's been talking about is the return of Brett Favre. Favre this, Favre that, will Brett come back? You've even gone as far as covering him taking a purple dump. Meanwhile, while all of this is happening, I'm working on becoming the greatest quarterback in the history of the National Football League. Even better than Brett Favre. The reality is even if Brett Favre could come back, he can't and do you know why? Because I killed Brett Favre!
Jim Ross: That's nonsense, no one can ever kill the memory of Brett Favre. That's just preposterous.
Rodgers: That's right, I killed Brett Favre. I killed the memory of Brett Favre! Nobody in Wisconsin remembers Brett Favre! Look at what I did last week. I beat the Chicago Bears...
JR: Yeah, thanks to Jay Cutler!
Rodgers: There is nothing that can stop me from my desti...
[The lights go out and a video plays on the big screen, a mysterious voice appears on the screen...]
Voice: You can pay more, but you won't get more...and that's why I choose Wrangler.
JR: OH MY GOD, THAT'S GOTTA BE BRETT FAVRE!!!
Rodgers: No. No. NO NO NO NO NOOOOOO!!! YOU'RE DEAD!!! I KILLED YOU!!! Don't get you're hopes up, cause he's not coming back!
[Rodgers looks afraid and enraged at the same time]
A week later the Packers are playing the Bengals...
JR: Wow, I can't believe they let me do play by play for football...I mean I was so terrible doing the XFL...
Jesse Ventura: God damn it, JR, just call the game! The Body is getting tired of your boasting.
JR: Well, here we are. The Packers are down 28-21 to the Cincinnati Bengals.
The Body: I don't know who loses to the Bengals, JR, they're not very good. I could body slam Chad Ochocinco with one arm.
JR: I'm sure he'd take you up on that offer. Maybe a touchdown celebration? Rodgers and the Packers are driving. Here we go...Rodgers up the middle and it's caught by Jermichael Finley. OH MY GOD WHAT A MISTAKE...WHAT A SLOBBERKNOCKER!!
[Packers run up to the line of scrimmage when all the lights in Lambeau Field turn off. The video plays on the screen again.]
Voice: My mind wants to come back...but I don't think my body is ready.
JR: BRETT FAVRE!!! HE'S COMING BACK TO AVENGE AARON RODGERS!!! AND TIME HAS RAN OUT ON THE PACKERS!
Rodgers: NOOOOOOOO!!! HE'S DEAD!!!
[Rodgers snaps. He punches Mike McCarthy, then puts Greg Jennings through a table. This continues for several weeks. Then the Vikings play the Packers at the Metrodome.]
JR: Another great game for the NFL. Why am I still allowed to call games? This will be a slobberknocker. There you see him, one of the great up and coming quarterbacks in the NFL, Aaron Rodgers.
[Again, the lights go out. But this time, there's smoke coming from the tunnel. The Helga Horn starts sounding and a figure emerges from the fog.]
JR: OH MY GOD IT'S BRETT FAVRE!!! HE WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE HERE TONIGHT!!!
[Favre walks up to Rodgers and they start staring at each other. Rodgers starts crying and putting his hand on his shoulder.]
Rodgers: You're dead....you're dea...you're not real....YOU'RE NOT REEEEEEEEEAAAAALLL!!!
[Favre jacks Rodgers in the mouth and just destroys him. I mean, you ever seen a piece of roadkill on the road, and you stop by to go look at it cause you're not sure what it is. Then, you take a stick and poke it a couple of times, but you're still not sure. Then you just give up and go "WHAT THE HELL IS THAT???"]
Anyways, the drama surrounding the Viking/Packer matchup is very similar to that of a professional wrestling storyline. It will be interesting to see how Favre responds against his former team next Monday night.
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