I remember being a fourth grader at Harriet Bishop Elementary School. I was a quiet guy believe it or not in my tenure there. (Well, that is if I wasn't fighting or getting beat by a girl in physical education class, but that's another story.) However, I was very loud in my passion for sports. That year it was Super Bowl XXX where the Dallas Cowboys took on the Pittsburgh Steelers. I had heard that the Cowboys were bad asses, going as far as renting a house as a playground for strippers and cocaine (who needs Las Vegas?). Because of my very moral parents, I cheered for the Pittsburgh Steelers. In an early glimpse of the power of Crishadinization, the Cowboys stomped the Steelers 27-17.
The funny part was after this victory, it meant three Cowboy Super Bowls in the 90's and I'm sure that most of you know that if you were a fan of a team, you HAD to have their Starter jacket. (I owned 2 in my time. The Orlando Magic and the Minnesota Timberwolves.) Surely enough, the Cowboy Starter jacket made its way into the southeastern Minnesota winter fashion landscape. Having a Cowboy Starter jacket also sequentially labeled you as a complete asshole. I don't think I ever saw a kid in that jacket who played nice with everyone. They wanted to bully and fight everyone, including the playground supervisors. Dallas was bad ass.
Flash forward to today. Apparently, Dallas is still bad ass. Why is this? Because as the Minnesota Vikings prepare to face off with the Dallas Cowboys this Sunday, the Cowboys are seriously unstoppable...according to ESPN and every other media outlet not in the Twin Cities. I don't even know why the Vikings should show up on Sunday to be honest. The Dallas offense is bad ass. The Dallas defense is bad ass. DeMarcus Ware is going to eat Brett Favre and then Tony Romo is going to @#$% his wife. I just hope they can hang with them for a quarter.
The truth is that Dallas is another media machine created by the dollars of their owner and ESPN. Because Dallas makes the NFL the most money, they get the most airtime. I wouldn't be shocked if Jerry Jones is feeding cash to every ESPN analyst and telling them to talk more Cowboys. But I digress...
If you're on the fence and don't know who to cheer for in this one *COUGH*Packer Fans*COUGH*, let me help you out a bit. The Cowboys are arguably one of the most unlikeable teams in the NFL. I'll just go through my own personal reasons why to cheer against the Cowboys.
Tony Romo is an Idiot.
Many people are sitting there screaming, "Hey, I like Tony Romo." and true, he's a marketable guy. He's just like you and me supposedly. He helps grandma's cross the street. He sells Pepsi. He takes homeless people to movies. BUT, there is one thing that I will never understand about Tony Romo. For those of you not musically inclined, this is Tony Romo's ex-girlfriend Carrie Underwood. (Excuse me...WOW!!!) Now, he dumped that for his other ex...Jessica Simpson (aka the U.S.S. Simpson.) Sure there's the looks factor...WHICH IS OBVIOUS!!! Yet, there's also the intelligence factor. Yes, Ms. Simpson may just be playing to her former Newlyweds audience, but still why would you trade a Porche for a Minivan when you really don't have to. Not to mention, I never heard anything about Carrie jinxing the Cowboys. I'm just saying.
The Hail Mary Game
December 28th, 1975: The Minnesota Vikings earned the top seed in the NFC in 1975. The Wild Card round was non-existant at this point, so the Vikings faced the #4 seed, the Dallas Cowboys. The Vikings had control of the game and the Cowboys were down to their last breath. From midfield with 24 seconds left, Dallas QB Roger Staubach launched the ball into the air and it was caught by Drew Pearson for the game winning touchdown. (Here is a link to the play) Now, what I just told you was the Dallas description of the play. Now it's time for the Minnesota side of the play. You can't see it well in the video, but first of all there were THREE holding calls that were not called by the officials on Dallas. The play resumed, and Pearson then pushed off on the Viking defender before catching the football which is known is offensive pass interference. NOT CALLED!!! The Viking fans almost rioted as a fan hucked a Windsor bottle onto the field which smoked one of the referees in the face. I still believe that this day has made my life as a Viking fan incredibly difficult. Many refer to the 1975 Vikings as the best Viking team ever, but they didn't make the Super Bowl. Had the Vikings won, would they have been able to beat Pittsburgh? Who knows?
Jerry Jones
The man who will ruin professional football. To be honest, that stadium looks awesome. However, it's also set the standard for teams looking to build new stadiums, such as the Minnesota Vikings. This new stadium has fellow owners drooling over what they could have, like a kid in a candy store. Not every government has over a billion dollars lying around to build the Taj Mahal of football. (Actually, Minnesota did that first with the Metrodome. Oh yeah, Jerry! When the Dome opened, the Gopher coach at the time, Lou Holtz, declared that the Dome would be the Taj Mahal of college football. That's right, suck it!) Not only that, but Jerry Jones is going to destroy the CBA. Jones wants no salary cap so he can spend like his buddy George Stienbrenner. Should that happen, smaller franchises like the ones in Buffalo and GREEN BAY will die because they won't have the financial capabilities that larger franchises have. Should the NFL go on strike, and with Roger Goodell leading the charge they probably will, it will be Jerry Jones' fault.
I'm not stupid here, I have a sinking feeling about this game. In 1975, the Super Bowl was going to be played in Miami. In 2010, the Super Bowl will be played in Miami. We already owe a debt to the football Gods for a hail mary of our own. However, the closer this game gets, the more I want to beat the living hell out of the Cowboys.
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