Why Crishadamania Is Important To Sports

Ladies and Gentlemen, I'm not sure if you know this, but this is an important week in sports and all across the world. You see this week, there is a huge event. This event is very interesting and everyone is looking towards their one moment. It is the showcase of the craptacular. It is Crishadamania.

Crishadamania has technically been around for 24 years, but the name was officially coined in time for Crishadamania XXII. This year will mark Crishadamania XXIV and like every year, it has a profound impact on professional sports. How is this? My birthday inspires mediocre athletes.

Take a look at Crishadamania XXIII. The Twins were taking on the Toronto Blue Jays at the big inflatable toilet. The game went into extra innings and late in the game, Joe Crede came up to the plate and smacked a game winning home run. This would probably be the only memorable moment during Joe Crede's tenure with the Twins, as he spent the rest of the season hitting around .220 and becoming a fixture on the disabled list.

At Crishadamania XXII, not only did the Minnesota Wild defeat the Colorado Avalanche in the Stanley Cup Playoffs, but Carlos Gomez robbed a home run from a Cleveland Indian (Grady Sizemore maybe?) This is one of the weaker Crishadamania's but it gets better.

Crishadamania XXI. Oh this was the big one! The Twins hosted the Tampa Bay DEVIL Rays. A pitcher for the Twins shut down the Rays lineup and earned his first win as a Twin. He was the number five starter that year and wouldn't last past May before being designated for assignment. His name was Sidney Ponson.

And even at Crishadamania XX, the Yankees were shut down by a young Scott Baker, back when he was incredibly inconsistent. Even a wardrobe malfunction couldn't stop Baker. (The story goes that Baker was pitching when his nut cup fell out of place and went down his leg. Baker called timeout and Joe Mauer came to the mound and Baker told him what happened. Mauer's response was simply, "What do you want me to do about it?" Good stuff.)

So, as you can see, Crishadamania is truly the showcase of the craptacular. So what will happen this year? I have four words to make my prediction: Nick Punto Grand Slam. Oh yes, I threw it out there...