I really wanted to make that Drunken NFL Draft Chronicles thing work, but here's the real chronicles that are a little bit easier to understand. Thanks to Steven Linzmeier.
2:47- Crishad shows up and doesn’t bring frozen pizzas.
2:57- We decided it was time to open the “Drunken Draft Chronicles” after about 4 beers.
2:58- Miles takes first swig of beer, what a puss.
2:59- Chris Berman asks us if we are ready for the draft, channeling his inner Crishad.
3:02- Crishad drops his first “F-bomb” of the day.
3:03- Why the fuck can’t Roger Goodell just make the first pick? Oh, there it is. Thank you.
3:04- The first pick in the draft, Matt Stafford. $41.7 million in guarantees, the biggest of all time.
3:06- Stafford calls Lions “a great organization.” No pro bowl QB since 1971, that usually means success.
3:20- The 40’s have been open. We drink 40’s like Heyward-Bey runs the 40. Herm Edwards is talking about HIS Chiefs… oh wait.
3:24- WHEN THE PICK IS IN LETS GO GOODELL!!!
3:26- Chiefs take Tyson Jackson, DE LSU. A guy who a month ago was being selected in the second round by most mock drafts.
3:32- Seahawks take Curry. He might have cried but the guy is a good guy. Curry brought a sick kid to the draft, what a guy.
3:34- Erin Andrews said she saw Aaron Curry at the hotel this morning… was she climbing out his bedroom window??
3:40- First trade of the day. Cleveland trades 5th pick to the Jets. It’s gotta be Sanchez here.
3:43- Matt Sanchez is going to the Big Apple. Mixed emotions from the Jets fan at the draft. (I’m 5 for 5 so far)
3:45- Jets gave up 2nd round pick and three players. Crishad made a good point, “Mangini used to coach there he knows the lesser players on that team.”
3:51- Bengals take another guy with character issues (Andre Smith). Gotta love Marvin Lewis.
3:56- The Raiders shock the world. They too Heyward-Bey… you got to be kidding me. Nick is fucking pissed. Speed reigns supreme with Al Davis.
4:21- Forgot about the Draft Chronicles, because I am pissed that the Packers took BJ Raji with the 9th pick. Michael Crabtree and Brian Orakpo were both still on the board. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!
4:26- Dear ESPN, Quit showing the guys on the phone, it takes away the suspense.
4:33- Redskins are elated that Orakpo falls to No. 13 they take all of 20 seconds to make their pick. Christmas comes early for the Redskins
4:56- Who knows who Cleveland will pick? Does anyone care while the Cavs are in the playoffs?
4:58- Now they traded the pick. Good idea. I said they should do that about 10 mins ago.
5:11- Crishad freaks out saying Percy Harvin and Adrian Peterson would make a great duo on the sideline next to Childress on 3rd downs next year.
5:12- The Browns trade down for the 3rd time, great move by Mangini. There is no value for the Browns at the pick.
5:14- Where is Jerry Clark?
5:26- Vikings pick is in, quickly. After someone asks, “Trade?” Blake says, “I hope we trade down.” Oh yeah, cause you can trade up still.
5:28- Percy Harvin is wearing purple and gold. I think it’s a good pick, but I would have rather traded that pick to the Cardinals for Boldin.
5:39- Michael Oher needs to stop talking. Why is Crishad yelling??
5:45- Crishad imitates Patrick Ewing commercial.
5:54- THE PACKERS TRADED UP!! They took Clay Matthews, Ted Thompson must have been sold on him to move up. That is anti-Ted Thompson. Packers finally do something worth a fuck.
6:18- What happened to the Draft Chronicles? Fuck
7:40- We return from China Moon…
7:41- This is the end.
7:47- Wait, wait... The girls are saying that they wasted their life watching the Draft... Jon says "What else were you gonna do, vacuum?" Priceless.
7:48- Finally over.
2:57- We decided it was time to open the “Drunken Draft Chronicles” after about 4 beers.
2:58- Miles takes first swig of beer, what a puss.
2:59- Chris Berman asks us if we are ready for the draft, channeling his inner Crishad.
3:02- Crishad drops his first “F-bomb” of the day.
3:03- Why the fuck can’t Roger Goodell just make the first pick? Oh, there it is. Thank you.
3:04- The first pick in the draft, Matt Stafford. $41.7 million in guarantees, the biggest of all time.
3:06- Stafford calls Lions “a great organization.” No pro bowl QB since 1971, that usually means success.
3:20- The 40’s have been open. We drink 40’s like Heyward-Bey runs the 40. Herm Edwards is talking about HIS Chiefs… oh wait.
3:24- WHEN THE PICK IS IN LETS GO GOODELL!!!
3:26- Chiefs take Tyson Jackson, DE LSU. A guy who a month ago was being selected in the second round by most mock drafts.
3:32- Seahawks take Curry. He might have cried but the guy is a good guy. Curry brought a sick kid to the draft, what a guy.
3:34- Erin Andrews said she saw Aaron Curry at the hotel this morning… was she climbing out his bedroom window??
3:40- First trade of the day. Cleveland trades 5th pick to the Jets. It’s gotta be Sanchez here.
3:43- Matt Sanchez is going to the Big Apple. Mixed emotions from the Jets fan at the draft. (I’m 5 for 5 so far)
3:45- Jets gave up 2nd round pick and three players. Crishad made a good point, “Mangini used to coach there he knows the lesser players on that team.”
3:51- Bengals take another guy with character issues (Andre Smith). Gotta love Marvin Lewis.
3:56- The Raiders shock the world. They too Heyward-Bey… you got to be kidding me. Nick is fucking pissed. Speed reigns supreme with Al Davis.
4:21- Forgot about the Draft Chronicles, because I am pissed that the Packers took BJ Raji with the 9th pick. Michael Crabtree and Brian Orakpo were both still on the board. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!
4:26- Dear ESPN, Quit showing the guys on the phone, it takes away the suspense.
4:33- Redskins are elated that Orakpo falls to No. 13 they take all of 20 seconds to make their pick. Christmas comes early for the Redskins
4:56- Who knows who Cleveland will pick? Does anyone care while the Cavs are in the playoffs?
4:58- Now they traded the pick. Good idea. I said they should do that about 10 mins ago.
5:11- Crishad freaks out saying Percy Harvin and Adrian Peterson would make a great duo on the sideline next to Childress on 3rd downs next year.
5:12- The Browns trade down for the 3rd time, great move by Mangini. There is no value for the Browns at the pick.
5:14- Where is Jerry Clark?
5:26- Vikings pick is in, quickly. After someone asks, “Trade?” Blake says, “I hope we trade down.” Oh yeah, cause you can trade up still.
5:28- Percy Harvin is wearing purple and gold. I think it’s a good pick, but I would have rather traded that pick to the Cardinals for Boldin.
5:39- Michael Oher needs to stop talking. Why is Crishad yelling??
5:45- Crishad imitates Patrick Ewing commercial.
5:54- THE PACKERS TRADED UP!! They took Clay Matthews, Ted Thompson must have been sold on him to move up. That is anti-Ted Thompson. Packers finally do something worth a fuck.
6:18- What happened to the Draft Chronicles? Fuck
7:40- We return from China Moon…
7:41- This is the end.
7:47- Wait, wait... The girls are saying that they wasted their life watching the Draft... Jon says "What else were you gonna do, vacuum?" Priceless.
7:48- Finally over.
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