Home Run Derby

It's that time of the year again. A whole bunch of top home run hitters get together and crank bombs all over the place at the All-Star game. This exhibition is more entertaining than the NBA, NHL, and NFL All-Star games. (In the NFL's case, the pro bowl.) We all know what this means too. It means it's time for another Twin to get disrespected.

In 2002, it was Torii Hunter. Hunter got into the home run derby and hit line drive after line drive and 3 of them went over the fence. Of course, he out homered Barry Bonds in that derby 3 to 2. Then Hunter's shining moment came in that year's game where he robbed Barry Bonds.

For a couple years, the Twins had a couple of token players that had gardnered respect. Johan Santan was one of them, but he never seemed to get the big time publicity that the bigger market pitchers got. This paved his road to become a New York Met.

Last year topped the cake. Justin Morneau won the home run derby and it seemed like everyone in attendance was pissed off at him because he didn't let Josh Hamilton win. Apparently, it was a two round contest. This got so bad that the presenter of the trophy actually called him Jason.

However, all these years of disrespect will come to an end when Joe Mauer steps into the batters box for the derby this year.

I don't think you know what to expect from Mauer. Many people have been joking that fans will all run to left field to catch Mauer's opposite field bombs. Of course, Mauer just finished up a horrid series against the Chicago White Sox, but rumor has it that Jesus actually called him and said "You're stealing my bit!" So, Joe had to do something I guess. Then came the interview with Ron Gardenhire about Joe going into the home run derby. Gardy's response. "I think Joe will win the whole thing. He does what he wants." Really...

Well, we have a representative in the Twins clubhouse that shall not be named and he's seen exactly what Joe Mauer could be planning for the bombfest contest. Apparently, Mauer has been seen with one arm tied behind his back smoking bombs. I'm not kidding about this. Mauer was violently taking swings with his left arm and crushing balls into the upper deck.

Then, came the real suprise. Trick bombs. Mauer did things like taking his bat behind his back, underneath his legs, throwing the bat at the ball, and commanding the ball into the upper deck. Mauer even stood in front of the plate, took it off his chest, and parked it into the home run porch.

Bottom line? Joe Mauer is going to crush anyone who stands in his way. It's like a UFC fight where they get a couple of jobbers to fight some big massive dude, then they get their shot. Mauer vs. Pujols in the final. The Machine vs. Baby Jesus. Wow. That could be a precursor to the Joe Mauer/Brett Favre steel cage match coming later this year. This is going to be fun to watch.