I Hate New York

It seems like everyone is just in a love affair with New York. There's that Frank Sinatra song that talks about "If I can make it here, I can make it anywhere." Riiiight.

Madison Square Garden, Carnagie Deli, The Statue of Liberty...it's all great...right? Then, there's the cesspool at East 161st Street and River Avenue. That would be Yankee Stadium.

It's because of this billion dollar structure that I can't stand the biggest city in the United States. There is an arrogance that is about New Yorkers that I just can't tolerate. Everyone thinks their hometown is great, but New Yorkers take this to an extreme.

If I'm wrong, why does this song exist?

I mean, wow. If I were Jay-Z I would reword the song a bit.

Yeah I'm at Yankee Game
Watch us get blown out
Jeter sucks donkey @#$%
Someone's gotta box out
Every other sport sucks, let's get a Cannuli
What the @#$%'s a Canulli, you don't deserve to be here in NEW YORRRRRRRK!!!

Ugh...the arrogance in New York, it's only made worse by the New York Yankees. 27 championships, countless numbers of legendary baseball players, and a legion of arrogant, front running, bandwagon fans. The Yankees are second, behind the Green Bay Packers, when it comes to my most hated sports teams.

There is so much to hate about their team, it's not even funny.

The face of the franchise is their shortstop, Derek Jeter. There is no doubt that he's a great player. But let's be honest here. He's the most smug athlete in professional sports behind Kobe Bryant...maybe now LeBron James. He dated Mariah Carey, who has flirted with Eminem before getting into the whole cougar craze and thought that dating Nick Cannon was a good idea. I usually don't think about this, but I think that Jeter has some STD that looks like a very unfriendly version of the Cookie Monster.

Come to think of it...look at Jeter. Doesn't it look like his mother had sex with The Rock and the news muppet from Sesame Street? Yeah, I think so too.

Their other big superstar is Alex Rodriguez. Who has hit 613 home runs. Pretty cool huh? Oh wait...HE CHEATED!!! Rodriguez took steroids when he was with the Rangers, so in my book his accomplishments don't phase me like they used to. When I was little, my mom made me write a book report over the summer so I'd get better at writing. I chose that prick. Sigh. Jim Thome is approaching that milestone now...oh and he's legit.

Did I mention Alex Rodriguez fooled around with Madonna? Yeah, and we were shocked about A-Rod using steroids....moving on.

Mark Texeira's wife demanded that he choose New York over Washington, Baltimore, and Boston. Whipped? Tom Brady eat your heart out.

Joe Girardi has a GIANT binder in which he keeps all sorts of stats and sabermetrics to go through when making a decision during a game. Will the umpires stop the game if he loses is pocket protector?

Phil Cuzzi...yeah he doesn't play for the Yankees but I still remember this. @#$% you.

Everyone at ESPN...see Phil Cuzzi.

And on top of all of this the Yankees think that this will be an easy pass to the ALCS. You can just go ahead and think that. I already mentioned this is a better Twins team than it was last year. Think Twins 2.0 or something.

All of this is fueling the fire for myself and many other Twins fans to see this group of losers get driven straight into the ground. Why are the Twins better than the Yankees.

- Our first baseman power lifted with bears until he got hurt. Yeah, awesome.

- Fat Joe is a Yankee fan. These guys think that five years is as painful as the Cubs 101 year drought.

- Target Field is better than Yankee Stadium. Look it up.

- Oh and the Twins are also the better franchise in those same rankings.

- They aren't the Yankees.

There are many other things, but if the Twins pull this off, I'll be a very happy guy.