The Night Of Death

I had a really pathetic experience last night. So, the Twins had an off day and Crishad comes home. As a matter of fact, I think this would work out better in...um...I don't know...

6:00 pm: Crishad is supposed to be off work right now. However, there were a bunch of hanging baskets by the dumpster. Nobody seems to know what to do with them so Crishad puts them away. 15 minutes later, Crishad is told that everyone knew that those plants were being treated for bugs and it was impossible that I didn't know that they were being treated. Crishad goes back puts the plants away.

6:20 pm: Crishad finally runs out of Menards. Crishad jumps in his car to hear some song about Polka Dotted Bikinis. Crishad wants to rip his radio out and throw it into the Mississippi River. He thinks better of it.

6:35 pm: Crishad arrives at home and makes a frozen pizza.

6:52 pm: Crishad burns his tounge on the first piece, the rest of it tastes like cardboard.

7:00 pm: Crishad's roomate turns on a show on the Discovery Channel. I think the name of this was "These Creatures Can and Will @#$% your @#$% Up If You Ever Go To Brazil.

7:11 pm: OK, snakes, crocodiles and things of that nature will kill you, I already knew that. But Bees. To quote Dane Cook, "@#$% bees!"

7:37 pm: A spider bite can kill you. This thing was huge, and supposedly really smart. Best of all, it hides in Bananas imported from Brazil. So guess what? Next time you pick up a banana you're going to die. Hooray.

7:52 pm: TURN THIS SHOW OFF ALREADY! Caterpillars can kill me. Not only that, but if I step on this creature, it pumps poision that makes me bleed everywhere. That sounds like a fun way to die!

8:04 pm: I think I'm in the clear. I'll turn on Monday Night Raw and see what's up. As soon as I turn the channel, the Nature Boy Ric Flair is staring at me screaming "I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS PUNK PUNK PUNK!!!" I immediatly look up Joe Mauer and Brett Favre's number for protection. Surprisingly, they aren't listed in the phone book.

8:17 pm: Crishad and his roomate are staring at each other in boredom. After suggesting we just get hammered, Crishad's roomate has a better idea: Planet Earth Monopoly!

8:22 pm: Playing Monopoly with two people sucks. Apparently if you decline to buy something, you have to auction it off. However, when you have two people, the other person is going to buy it for one dollar more than your assets. Crishad desperatly texts a friend who responds, "I'm so freaking dead!" Crishad replies: "I'm going to die too!"

9:42 pm: Crishad throws in the towel. I'm pretty sure the deck of Chance and Community Chest cards were stacked against me but oh well. Meanwhile, two wolves are ripping apart a guy on the TV.

10:02 pm: We give wrestling a second try. Apparently, Ric Flair has been just standing there screaming "WHOOOOO!!!" the entire two hours waiting for me. Let's turn on the news.

10:07 pm: Someone killed someone in Minneapolis...

10:15 pm: Nice weather coming up....

10:27 pm: Twins are off? Never would have guessed.

10:35 pm: THANK GOD FOR CONAN O'BRIEN!!!

11:35 pm: Well, played Conan...good night world!