There is a serious problem in our society. We have many different time wasting websites that have been invented since 2005 (my freshman year in college). First, there was You Tube, a website that allows one to watch a ton of random videos. For example, my first You Tube video was the infamous Denny Green "THEY ARE WHO WE THOUGHT THEY WERE!" moment. Then, there was Facebook. Remember that hot girl in high school that you never talked to but you just liked staring at her? Well, if she knew you at all you can add her and you can relive those days. Personally, I use these two websites a ton, so I'm just as guilty as all of you. However, there is one website I will NEVER use. That would be Twitter.
Twitter is like a bunch of facebook statuses. People like to go on this site and post something clever to make people laugh. Actually, Twitter has become a better news source than ESPN or your local newspaper. Did the Mayor rail his secretary? You heard about it 3 hours before it was on the local paper's website thanks to Twitter. This is a great tool in that aspect. Also, some people use it as business. Instead of writing a full blown e-mail asking a person to lunch, send them a tweet. Another great use for the website.
However, my problem with it is the use of celebrities and professional athletes. Nobody can say anything to anyone's face anymore. Shaq doesn't like Dwight Howard, but don't tell him on the court. We wouldn't want to start a fight in the NBA where everybody is friends. I don't think there's a hockey player on Twitter and if there were, I don't think we'd ever see Todd Bertuzzi jumping on there and saying, "Derek Boogaard is a worthless @#$%! I'm gonna break his neck tonight!"
There are also athletes who tweet at inopportune times, such as Pistons F Charlie Villanueva. Villanueva tweeted during halftime in his locker room during a game. It's no wonder he sucks. He's worrying about what he's going to tweet rather than trying to win a basketball game. Not to mention, his tweet looked something like "In da loker room. Coach sez to step up." Apparently, this is the art of "chat" which my 12 year old sister has informed me about. Hey, Charlie! Did you ever go to a class at UConn? I would suggest word processing 101.
And then there's Chad Ochocinco. Ochocinco tweets about 90 times a day. Even Twitter's most religious followers get sick and tired of Chad tweeting that he's going to slam an energy drink or that he's got a kick ass celebration should he make it into the end zone. (It was pretty awesome when Chad was scoring every week, now since he just sits there and cries all the time, it's getting old.) We don't care. It's like Miley Cyrus saying that she's getting a latte or Ryan Seacrest giving us the latest Jon and Kate news. WE DON'T CARE!!!
Now, there is one way that I will join this craze. There is one person that I want to see on Twitter. He is the man who is a legend in the state of Idaho for his bar fights. This is a man who has a mullet that his own mother couldn't even love. That would be the man who will be looking to break Aaron Rodgers neck this season: Jared Allen.
Why would I not care about Ochocinco but instead be interested in Jared Allen? Well, this man is a quote machine. If you haven't seen it yet, this is Jared Allens comment about the "schism" in the Vikings locker room....
“I don’t know where this came from. Like I said, I don’t think anybody on this team knows what schism is, let alone could use it in a sentence. I thought it was an STD when I first heard it. And I was like whoa, we preach abstinence around these parts.”
Yup...then there was the quote about preseason...
"Preseason games are like going to prom with your sister, and I can't imagine that being much fun."
And when he first came to the Vikings...
"My main goal is to bury my helmet into Aaron Rodgers back."
Just for good measure, Jared Allen describing his mullet here
Well, there's one problem with this idea. Jared Allen doesn't know what Twitter is and said in a recent TV interview that he would never do it, just like a certain blogger. I guarantee you, if Jared Allen gets a Twitter account, I would like to sign up just to follow Jared Allen. This would be the most entertaining account in all of Twitter (well, next to mine should this sign of the apocalypse happen.) So, until then, I'm going to figure out how to search for people on Twitter because it's the most pointless and confusing thing in the world. So...go tweet about that.
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